Why do people get married?

[old.Tohtori]

Just a logicality question really.

"I love him/her!", nope...not good enough.
"I want to spend the rest of my life with him/her!", could do it without.

So, enlighten the coldhearted fishhunter here. Why?

 

[Laddey]

People marry to get company that they would not get if they were single. Nobody wants to return to an empty home, which is what happens if you do not marry. Isolation can be killing. Studies have shown that isolation can be harmful to health as heavy smoking or drinking.

It is only in the movies that bachelors look young and carefree. If you see men who are single, after the age of 28 or so, you will find that they look older and more worn out than married persons of the same age. Scores of studies done in North America and Western Europe shows that married people enjoy better health than singles. They also live longer.

Take mental health for instance. Singles outnumber married individuals by three to one in mental hospitals. Outnumbering the singles however, are widowed people, testifying to a fact that the death of a spouse is one of life's most stressful events.

However, data shows that divorce can unbalance a married individual. Divorced people in mental hospitals one and a half times, some studies shows. Single men are nearly twice as likely to commit suicide as married men. Divorced and widowed men, however, were even more suicidal than single men. Looking at this data it is worth examining why marriage contributes to health and longevity and why being single has the reverse effect. The answer is simple.

People who are married and especially those with children, drink and drive less, take drugs less, and engage in less risky behavior. They feel responsible for their wife and children while an unencumbered bachelor tends to be more reckless. Medical studies confirm that the benefits from marriage are many.

Married people not only have lower rates for a variety of illness, they are less accident-prone than singles. Singles also are far more likely to have a car accident or die of diseases of the liver, largely caused by drinking liquor. Research shows that married people drink least, the widowed, divorced or separated the most.

Heavy drinkers are also heavy smokers. Married people are happier than singles because man is a social animal and loneliness depresses him because human being grow up with close relationships and cannot cope with isolation.

A man lives in a family for many years after he is born. In school and college, he has friends. When he begins a job, he has office colleagues. But it is only at home as a bachelor that he is all alone. He cannot endure that. That is why you find men getting married soon after they begin working.

Finally marriage derives its strength from a human being's need to perpetuate himself beyond death by producing children. This evolutionary need is so strong that even an enlightened thinker like Bertrand Russell wrote that people unable to have children begin to find life meaningless because there is nothing to connect them with a distant future when they would not be alive.

 

[Case]

Good excuse for a great party and an awsome holiday.

 

[old.Tohtori]

People marry to get company t*snip*with a distant future when they would not be alive.

Good answer on why people are together, but not why people marry

It is only in the movies that bachelors look young and carefree. If you see men who are single, after the age of 28 or so, you will find that they look older and more worn out than married persons of the same age..

Well, i'm 29 soon, single, no relationship older then 6 months(only one) and i live the carefree bachelor life

 

[megadave]

You can still be together with someone and not get married.

My parents have been together about 30 years and they aren't married, i'm a bastard

THe only reason i can think of is the way some laws/pensions/stuff i dont know about affects married couples differently to normal couples.

 

[Calaen]

Being married requires more of a commitment than just being in a relationship.

 

[Aoami]

I get the feeling it's more for the girls than the blokes.

 

[pikeh]

I think actually getting down on one knee and proposing, is the ultimate ACT of love and devotion. If you just tell someone you want to spend the rest of your life with them, its not an act, its just words.

/edit and for some people that matters.

 

[megadave]

yeah but half the time you break up anyway and the marriage just causes loads of problems

 

[old.Tohtori]

Being married requires more of a commitment than just being in a relationship.

How exactly? Have to be more faithful?

I think actually getting down on one knee and proposing, is the ultimate ACT of love and devotion. If you just tell someone you want to spend the rest of your life with them, its not an act, its just words.

/edit and for some people that matters.

Aye, this is what i've come up with and your answer kinda says it too:

People do it 'cause it's a "thing to do".
People do it 'cause it matters to the girl/guy/family.

But there's no real reason to get married as such, again, from a logical perspective.

 

[UrganNagru]

It probaly developed in society due to the long time it takes for for children to become independant, so any thing that encourages parents to stick together over time will be useful to society. Another reason it came about is probaly because it encourages monogamy, which in days gone by helps prevent spread of disease, again that is useful to society so it become incorporated into the culture.

 

[Chronictank]

How exactly? Have to be more faithful?



Aye, this is what i've come up with and your answer kinda says it too:

People do it 'cause it's a "thing to do".
People do it 'cause it matters to the girl/guy/family.

But there's no real reason to get married as such, again, from a logical perspective.

law - obivous reasons
culture - depending on your faith
society - wearing a ring for example results in you being hit on less

Marrige = commitment, if you simply live together there is nothing stopping you leaving. If you are married you are commited legally and otherwise

There is no real logically reason not to get married if you are intending on staying with a partner

 

[Binky the Bomb]

Humans are community builders, its an instinct. Part of that instinct is to have children, which requires someone of the opposite sex. However, part of the whole thing is to hang around and pass on knowledge to your children. Again, instinct.

Now then, marriage, before it was known as the marriage we've known for centuries, was just our species way of making sure we man hung around and helped raise the young. As time moved on, our species used symbolism to show our commitment to the "Family unit", which evolved into marriage through the various religions which sprang up as a form of social control.

Its thousands of years of social engineering, conditioning and rhetoric, just to make the man hang around after sex.

 

[megadave]

The average cost of getting married these days is supposedly £17000. That seems like a good enough reason not to

 

[old.Tohtori]

law - obivous reasons
culture - depending on your faith
society - wearing a ring for example results in you being hit on less

Marrige = commitment, if you simply live together there is nothing stopping you leaving. If you are married you are commited legally and otherwise

There is no real logically reason not to get married if you are intending on staying with a partner

Actualy there's no logical reason to get married if you intend to stay. Sure, benefits for marriage maybe, but other then that, you can as easily be as committed without getting married. Hell, can even wear a ring.

Why would you need the law to tell you to stay, if you're REALLY committed to someone?

Humans are community builders, its an instinct. Part of that instinct is to have children, which requires someone of the opposite sex. However, part of the whole thing is to hang around and pass on knowledge to your children. Again, instinct.

Now then, marriage, before it was known as the marriage we've known for centuries, was just our species way of making sure we man hung around and helped raise the young. As time moved on, our species used symbolism to show our commitment to the "Family unit", which evolved into marriage through the various religions which sprang up as a form of social control.

Its thousands of years of social engineering, conditioning and rhetoric, just to make the man hang around after sex.

This is actually how i thought it evolved to this also. Society, etc.

I'm just looking for a reason behind it all, as if you love someone, why is the ultimate show of affection towards someone forcing to stay together?

Wouldn't it be logical, if you're committed and in love and want to spend all eternity, to not get married 'cause you know you won't leave anyway?

 

[Binky the Bomb]

Wouldn't it be logical, if you're committed and in love and want to spend all eternity, to not get married 'cause you know you won't leave anyway?

Its all conditioning, we've been programmed, as a society, to believe that marriage IS the ultimate commitment.
I understand where your coming from with this, I have the same trouble with it. But you have to remember that people do it because it whats been done for centuries, not because they use there common sense, but because they don't know any better.

What gets me is that this model was thought up, and tweaked over the centuries by hundreds if not thousand of people, to become a corner stone of modern society. And then to brainwash everyone to believe that society would collapse without it. And the strange thing is, it would too, because society is designed to self destruct without it or any of the other 'corner stones' its built on.

And the only people to benefit are priests and jewelry makers.

 

[Chronictank]

Actualy there's no logical reason to get married if you intend to stay. Sure, benefits for marriage maybe, but other then that, you can as easily be as committed without getting married. Hell, can even wear a ring.

There are NO benefits if you intend to stay with a partner of not being married, if there are please correct me
If you get married however there are many benefits legal and financial alone if you want to ignore all the fluffy stuff

Why would you need the law to tell you to stay, if you're REALLY committed to someone?

don't get your point, it is not about the law telling you do anything. Being married gives you legal advantages which otherwise are unavailable (without a significant cost in most cases)

It is logical to get married because there is a tangible benefit from it, if you dont get married you get none of these
Therefore logic dictates it IS beneficial to get married but there is no benefit from not doing so (under the assumption you are staying with your partner)

 

[Ctuchik]

Just a logicality question really.

"I love him/her!", nope...not good enough.
"I want to spend the rest of my life with him/her!", could do it without.

So, enlighten the coldhearted fishhunter here. Why?

because they want to?

 

[Jarakin]

When you're living with someone and are commited to spending the rest of your life with them, what it really boils down to is that it makes financial sense to tie the knot!

Never was it said that i'm not a romantic at heart. Ahem.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Chronic like i said, yes yes, benefits, ofcourse. But....

don't get your point, it is not about the law telling you do anything. Being married gives you legal advantages which otherwise are unavailable (without a significant cost in most cases)

You were the one who brought up the law as a commitment thing:

"Marrige = commitment, if you simply live together there is nothing stopping you leaving. If you are married you are commited legally and otherwise"

Like i said, if you're committed to someone enough to marry them and want to marry to show that commitment, you don't have to unless you need the law to dictate that you have to.

 

[Ctuchik]

Chronic like i said, yes yes, benefits, ofcourse. But....



You were the one who brought up the law as a commitment thing:

"Marrige = commitment, if you simply live together there is nothing stopping you leaving. If you are married you are commited legally and otherwise"

a single piece of paper makes you able to just walk away from a marriage to after the divorce papers are signed. just because you marry someone doesn't mean the "everything thats yours is mine and vice versa" apply.

 

[Huntingtons]

toh - whats up with the "logical reason". why does that interest you? nothing we do except basic surviving is logical. why play computer? build a house, drink booze, whine on fh? etc...

and you're still missing chronics point - the point is the legal benefits from it which you get in one way or another. that makes it logical enough

 

[Chronictank]

Chronic like i said, yes yes, benefits, ofcourse. But....



You were the one who brought up the law as a commitment thing:

"Marrige = commitment, if you simply live together there is nothing stopping you leaving. If you are married you are commited legally and otherwise"

Like i said, if you're committed to someone enough to marry them and want to marry to show that commitment, you don't have to unless you need the law to dictate that you have to.

I undersand that, but we are not theorising
It is a fact that being married has benefits, it is a fact that not being married results in you being financially worse off
There is NO logic in not getting married if you strip away beliefs, culture and all non-tangible areas

Legally speaking Marrige is not the whole go to a church, ceremony etc.. nor is it anything to do with love

it is simply a legal document saying you want to share your assets with someone else (hence commitment)
You go to the registry office, and sign a piece of paper legally entitling you to things such as citizenship etc..

Cold hard logic dictates it is illogical to not get married, regardless of your view on cultural development simply because of the benefits through a legal contract (that is all marrige is if you break it down to the legality, which is what matters in court)

 

[soze]

It used to be for a tax break but if i got married it would be for the public commitment that shes mine im hers plus all the presents and a great day for the memory.

 

[Benedictine]

Having got married late at 35 your question tells me:

a) It's not for you
b) You are not ready

:england:

 

[Calaen]

How exactly? Have to be more faithful?

Being faithful has nothing to do with it, people get married who are very open with regards to their sexual turn ons and share partners.

Its fine saying yeah I love you and want to be with you forever and all that, but there comes a points where you have to back up the words with actions.

I was more than happy to propose to my wife, will I spend the rest of my life with her? I certainly hope so, I am realistic enough to know that somethings in life are never certain.

Being married means that I/we have something to fight for and hold onto if we are going through a rough patch. Just being with someone is an easy excuse to bail when things get a little to hairy. You hear often of people who have left their g/f - b/f because things were getting to serious for them, some people fear commitment and some people need it. I do not think its got anything to do with society either, I cant imagine going through everyday of my life without someone I love to share it with. That is just how I feel.

 

[old.Tohtori]

I undersand th*snip*rs in court)

Aye, i know, the benefits are there. I was more on the "why it's so -special- etc". I was saying that if you love someone and want to be with them rest of your life, logically, you wouldn't have to marry them.

That's why your comment about legal marriage making it harder to leave was something i wanted to ask about.

Having got married late at 35 your question tells me:

a) It's not for you
b) You are not ready

:england:

I know you're kidding a bit, but i would be ready, but with the right woman wouldn't have to

Being faithful has nothing to do with it, people get married who are very open with regards to their sexual turn ons and share partners.

Its fine saying yeah I love you and want to be with you forever and all that, but there comes a points where you have to back up the words with actions.

I was more than happy to propose to my wife, will I spend the rest of my life with her? I certainly hope so, I am realistic enough to know that somethings in life are never certain.

Being married means that I/we have something to fight for and hold onto if we are going through a rough patch. Just being with someone is an easy excuse to bail when things get a little to hairy. You hear often of people who have left their g/f - b/f because things were getting to serious for them, some people fear commitment and some people need it. I do not think its got anything to do with society either, I cant imagine going through everyday of my life without someone I love to share it with. That is just how I feel.

Yes ofcourse and i get the semantic behind it, i'm jsut curious to the overall why. Best answer i guess is the "they want to", and i'm ofcourse, ofcourse, not saying they shouldn't.


Hunt asked "why the logicality", and i know it's a bit foolish to add logical thinking to emotions and traditions, but i figured maybe someone would know.

As far as i see it, if we take out the financial, there is no real reason to marry someone. You could do it all without marriage. As in reason reason. It's f*cking hard to explain what i mean

 

[Overdriven]

There are benefits to getting married? O_O I, didn't know that. (I don't count the financial side a benefit. I consider that a plus )

 

[Amanita]

May be difficult for the "hard logical" types but marriage is a symbol of the commitment a couple make to each other. It makes a lifelong attatchment all the more special and the wedding is the perfect time to celebrate their undying love.

Or: Its a formal agreement between two families that they are now allied to each other through blood; the children of that union. In the "olden" days this was way more important than the two people actually getting married

Or: Its just what people do

Personally, I think its a little outdated but then in xx years if I find "Mr. Right" I may completely change my mind.

 

[Lamp]

For tax reasons