Comedy Injuries

Trem · Jan 20, 2002

Just badly burnt my thumb trying to light a fart,which got me thinking have any of u ever caused damage to yrself in a comedy way?oh yeah i bit my tongue in half once as well playing football(kicked a little too high

)

Sar · Jan 20, 2002

You kicked yourself in the mouth?

By god but you are supple.

Trem · Jan 20, 2002

Well more like kneed meself,quite easily the most painful injury of my life(tongue was split like a snakes)had to have 8 stiches in it, now i dont know if u know this but the tongue is a strong muscle and it didnt take too well to the anaesthectic(spelling)so there was 3 of them trying to yank a needle threw my bleeding erm muscle,i cant believe people get it pierced(tongue)

Will · Jan 20, 2002

Are we talking about piercings again?

Trem · Jan 20, 2002

Im new 2 the forum itchy,please recap!!

Will · Jan 20, 2002

Oh, a new guy.

/me rubs his hands together

ShockingAlberto · Jan 20, 2002

I once knew someone who broke their foot. By dropping frozen meat on it

bodhi · Jan 20, 2002

I broke my toe playing Badminton once. Don't even ask.

Oh and Ive just injured my thumb playing Pro Evolution Soccer too much. Damn that game rocks.

Summo · Jan 20, 2002

Originally posted by ItchyTrigaFinga
Are we talking about piercings again?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!¬!!!1111221!!!!

Trem · Jan 20, 2002

Oh yeah,i 4got about joypad blisters, they suck bodhi, aint had them since SF on the snes ahhhhhh happy days.

Will · Jan 20, 2002

Originally posted by SomeGuy

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!¬!!!1111221!!!!

You know you want me too.

Stazbumpa · Jan 21, 2002

Went head to head with an 18 stone Offensive Tackle when playing American Football once. Had a sort of concertina effect on my neck. To this day I get a stiff neck when its cold outside.

Also broke my ring finger whilst trying to show someone who was boss at school. Grapped his shirt, he shit himself and ran and my finger got caught and snapped.

old.bee · Jan 21, 2002

riding my push bike when i put my foot in the front wheel (I have large feet) ...i did a 360 spin and crashed out...boy did that hurt.

old.Jas · Jan 21, 2002

I got home drunk after a serious New Years drinking session... with only a back door key. I went around the house to find 8ft gate to the back of the house shut.

I attempted to climb the said gate, and fell over the other side. In Honiton hospital, with a suspected fractured skull. The gate was apparently open anyhow, and whilst I was half way over it swang open. I was asked what substances I had been taking... only alcohol

.cage · Jan 21, 2002

Originally posted by Tremor
Oh yeah,i 4got about joypad blisters, they suck bodhi, aint had them since SF on the snes ahhhhhh happy days.

Only one thing to say about that : Track and field on the psx years ago

xenon2000 · Jan 21, 2002

Wasn't really an injury, but I was pushing my bike out the garage the other day whilst wearing a heavy rucksack, and accidentally let the handlebars spin round. The front weel took me out at the legs, I fell forward and over the whole bike, and the momentum caused the rucksack to pull me over into a (almost double) somersault. I've had various other mis-haps with heavy bags before too, only they weren't so private

Damini · Jan 21, 2002

I am the champion of this section. WPKenny will verify.

Stabbed myself in the arm with a Waiters Friend Penknife thingy openning a bottle of wine. When I was a waitress serving at a table. I still have the scar.

Had my leg broken at a Nirvana tribute gig. Before the main band started. Was so drunk I didnt realise how bad it was, and simply moshed on one leg for the rest of the night. Sobriety bought me a wretched hangover, and I had to hop on one foot crying to the nurse at uni, who promptly stuck me in a taxi for the hospital.

Damini: (tearfully) Kenny... wake up.... they're taking me to hospital...
Kenny: (Half asleep and too sodding lazy to wakeup) Uhuh... ok... catch you later then....

Those are just the highlights! I'm waiting for my very own spot in the Darwin Awards.

Testin da Cable · Jan 21, 2002

my personal fave [weeeell] is this one. it's a major lesson not to combine drugs and vehicles actually

driving home [we had just moved the week before] on my moped while under the influence of a combination of substances. I found I was slightly sleepy and came up with the brilliant idea to rest my eyes for a couple of secs...
I came to in a field. I had been out for at least an hour. I had broken my leg in two places and snapped my right collarbone er landing.
My helmet had a huge gash down the right side, if I hadn't been wearing it I would have died.

There are others [usually related to mountainbikes hehe]. I've broken some other bones thanks to those buggers

old.Jas · Jan 21, 2002

brilliant idea to rest my eyes for a couple of secs

It always seems like such a good idea at the time doesn't it? I have ended up a several unknown stations in several unknown counties whilst taking a kip on the train

Wij · Jan 21, 2002

I was taking this lass up the arse and...

:/

Trem · Jan 21, 2002

rofl wij

WPKenny · Jan 21, 2002

Hmm. Well when I was a kid I decided I'd try out roller skating.
Well, my confidence outgrew my ability and I decided to tackle a nearby hill.
As I gathered speed down the pavement I began to realise I had no idea how to actually stop myself.
Then I saw this sort of banister type thingy coming out of the ground which led down some steps down a steeper part of the hill.
I steered myself towards. Only I steered too well and hit it smack in the centre. My hands cought hold of it and my skates, along with the lower half of my body kept on going....either side of this banister.

For those of you still reading and have wiped the tears from your eyes....

I lay there in agony and wrenched the skates from my feet. I threw them down the slope and sobbed quietly to myself.

The final indignity was my mother having to rub cream onto the huge bruises on the inside of my thighs.

/me wipes tear from his eye as he remembers the accident.

old.Jas · Jan 21, 2002

old.Reverend Flatus · Jan 21, 2002

When I was 16 (in the dim and distant past) I had a moped. I also wore flared jeans, it's true!. One day the dynamo thingy on the moped decided to eat the bottom of my jeans while I was driving along. This caused the engine to stop pretty quick and threw me off. Luckily I wasn't hurt but I felt a right fucking idiot sitting in the gutter trying to separate the moped from my leg-wear. It took ages and several passers-by stopped to point and laugh. Ruined me flares too!

Damini · Jan 21, 2002

Damini Chapter two - When Animals Attack

I have also been stung on the female genital region by a wasp, and had my breast savaged by a donkey. Both traumatic experiences in their own right.

Wasp incident: I was playing Stuck in the Mud, as a kid, as you do. Wearing a skirt, as girlies do. A wasp flew between my legs, and I assumed it flew out the other side of my skirt, as you do. I did not for one minute assume it had decided to stop for a breif respite on my knickers. So, someone "freed" me in game, I jumped up, slamming my legs together, and promptly fell straight to the ground again and stayed there. For a very long time indeed.

Donkey incident: I was posing for a picture with a donkey at a zoo. Had my arm around its head, grinning inanely, and the bastard turned round and bit my boob. I had huge sod off bite shaped bruises on top and bottom of my breast for two weeks. Luckily, I was single at the time, other wise that would have been bloody hard to explain away.

I now have a complete and mindless phobia of wasps. I probably would have of donkeys too, but luckily they dont seem to turn up at picnics and bbqs as much.

And then there was the geese incident. But seeing as that was only last year it still remains a point of cringing.

Wij · Jan 21, 2002

I knew that Donkey costume would come in handy

caLLous · Jan 21, 2002

Stapled me thumb to a wall once... Ran into an open hinged-at-the-top-type window and split the front of my head open (still got a little bit there where they stitched it where i have no hair :/)... Was playing hide and seek once with me brother, and i was desperately crawling around behind a table (cheating, yes i know) and i ran/crawled head on into that bastard sharp bit on the end of a radiator... Testing a fire alarm one time, holding a lit candle above my head to do so, a drip of wax fell and hit my cheek about 15mm from my eye. THAT could have stung. Damn fire alarm didn't work either. /me shakes his fist at all nonfunctional fire alarms.

Summo · Jan 21, 2002

Was anyone else strangely aroused by the Damini story? :/

caLLous · Jan 21, 2002

the wasp one, the donkey one or the webcam which i think is still idly refreshing somewhere on my desktop...? oh yes, there it is... *g*

Damini · Jan 21, 2002

Sadist.

Comedy Injuries

Trem

Guest

Sar

Guest

Trem

Guest

Will

Guest

Trem

Guest

Will

Guest

ShockingAlberto

Guest

bodhi

Guest

Summo

Guest

Trem

Guest

Will

Guest

Stazbumpa

Guest

old.bee

Guest

old.Jas

Guest

.cage

Guest

xenon2000

Guest

Damini

Guest

Testin da Cable

Guest

old.Jas

Guest

Wij

Guest

Trem

Guest

WPKenny

Guest

old.Jas

Guest

old.Reverend Flatus

Guest

Damini

Guest

Wij

Guest

caLLous

Guest

Summo

Guest

caLLous

Guest

Damini

Guest

Users who are viewing this thread

Similar threads