Comedy Injuries Part 2.

[Embattle]

Cycling a long and looked behind me and as I looked forward again I suddenly flew up in the air, bike too, and came round about a second of two later in the middle of the road. Moved out of the road back to the path to find I had hit one of those massive kerb stones that was out of line by about 3"....ironically my mum told me to be careful as it was windy out

 

[CAC]

riding my back back from my m8's granny house long time ago we passed a local factory at knocking off time (lots of cars on the road) my m8 and i were two abreast tucked up behind a car.

suddenly and without warning the car stops my m8 being on the outside serves to avoid the car while i on the other hand had little choice but to bail off my bike onto the back of the car, i watched my bike bouncing down the road as i slid up the rear window to come to a halt on the roof of the car.


it took me several minutes to stop laughing

 

[SilverSides]

When asked to clean my room during my teenage years i came up with the genius idea of washing the ceiling with bleach.....

It was painful but i can still see

 

[Trem]

Is anyone else here getting the impression that Emb is accident prone

 

[Summo]

I'm getting the impression that I want to 'touch' you, Trem. C'mere...

 

[Trem]

*giggles*

 

[Embattle]

Originally posted by Trem
Is anyone else here getting the impression that Emb is accident prone

Naaa, all in my younger years....esp when I used to do a lot of off road cycling which involved me crashing at times and laughing my arse off at others.

 

[sad_mung]

I was about 13-14 and a mate an I where building a fort from some regular sized bits of wood at the bottom of my dads yard. They were about 6-7 foot long and we were stacking them two on one side then two more on top of them going the other way, to make a kind of log cabin style thing. Anyway, each of these old planks had 6 inch nails pocking out of the ends. Needless to say I stabbed my upper right thigh with one.
Funny thing is, it was in a fleshy part and the first I knew about it was when my sock felt wet.
Blood soaked and suddenly in pain I limped back home. Required no stitches and to this day I have a "maggot" scar on my thigh.

Also when I was in my twenties I was cycling home behind some traffic when this car in front decides to turn left without signaling.
I hit the rear right corner of the car and was catapulted ten feet down the road landing on my back.
Miraculously I was uninjured and so was the bike. The bloke in the car was in complete shock, so I left him to it and cycled home.

 

[Embattle]

A couple of friends of mine decided to build a ramp out of tins and books then stuck a plank of wood up them so I could use my BMX to jump off it. Managed to get off the ramp without it collapsing but didn't judge the run off area that well which included a wall thus resulting in me ditching it in the dirt but the worse thing was I hadn't judged the impact on landing which resulted in me slamming into the hard plastic saddle, nuts first....ouch.

 

[kameleon]

Emb - the Frank Spencer of Barrysworld

 

[Embattle]

It hurt like hell at the time, many swear words and lots of cold water

 

[Clowneh!]

No rolleyes?

 

[Embattle]

Haven't hurt my eyes as yet...

 

[Clowneh!]

Teehee

 

[leggy]

I remember another one.

I laughed at this guy singing vierra songs on the way home from the pub. He knocked me to the ground and kicked me in the body and face until my shoulder was broken and my face mangled.

 

[Wilier]

Mrs Will once stuck a finger nail into my fully erect penis, right in my shiney leather dome.

Bed sheets were ruined with gouting blood and I so nearly passed out.

 

[leggy]

Originally posted by Wilier
Mrs Will once stuck a finger nail into my fully erect penis, right in my shiney leather dome.

Bed sheets were ruined with gouting blood and I so nearly passed out.

I have just taken a sicky becuase of this post.

 

[Summo]

Originally posted by leggy
I have just taken a sicky because of this post.

A new winner, 2003 Best Post Evah™.

 

[Embattle]

Originally posted by Wilier
Mrs Will once stuck a finger nail into my fully erect penis, right in my shiney leather dome.

Bed sheets were ruined with gouting blood and I so nearly passed out.

LOL....u piss her off or something?

 

[sad_mung]

Originally posted by leggy
I remember another one.

I laughed at this guy singing vierra songs on the way home from the pub. He knocked me to the ground and kicked me in the body and face until my shoulder was broken and my face mangled.

That doesn't sound much like an accident. You poor bastard.

 

[sad_mung]

Originally posted by Wilier
Mrs Will once stuck a finger nail into my fully erect penis, right in my shiney leather dome.

Bed sheets were ruined with gouting blood and I so nearly passed out.

Amatuer Prince Albert attempt?

 

[~Lazarus~]

Originally posted by Wilier
Mrs Will once stuck a finger nail into my fully erect penis, right in my shiney leather dome.

Bed sheets were ruined with gouting blood and I so nearly passed out.

was that when she was wading through your pubic hair trying to find "it" ?

 

[Wilier]

Well, I'll explain a bit, and near in mind that Im attempting to stay within the forum R and R here, so a bit of imagination may be needed

She was on top, we going at it hammer and tongs, nearing the *ahem* climax, and it slipped out, she made a grab for it (not wanting to lose the moment, and stabbed me

Bled and bled and bled and bled and bled some more.

 

[Clowneh!]

Next time, tell her not to use hammer and tongs

 

[mank]

That must have ruined the moment a bit :/

 

[~Lazarus~]

Originally posted by Clowneh!
Next time, tell her not to use hammer and tongs

Tweezers and a microscope more like.

 

[Wilier]

Mankeh, tbh, I would have carried on, but she started laughing too much.

And Laz, or should I say Itchy?? you been looking again?

 

[old.ignus]

Yeah Laz you seem to be commenting on willier's size a bit too much, is there something we should know?

 

[kameleon]

Its penis envy

 

[old.ignus]

Originally posted by kameleon
Its penis envy

There's a joke there somewhere and I'm determined to find it.