K
kameleon
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- #31
or you could have just stayed to risit some o levels, in which case you'd be 36
L
Lester
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- #32
Kamelon gets two points
Throddy gets two fingers
Throddy gets two fingers
M
Munkey-
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- #33
least year, i tried to climb up a lamppost....so i ran up to it, jumped, grabbed it with my arms and clasped the bottom with my legs before shimmying uwards.
Well, i would've if my feet hadnt slipped off. Wham! slammed my balls right into the lamppost (and this was at speed i'll have you know)
but nooooooooo. the dignity diddnt end there. I procedded to fall onto the grassy bit next to the lamppost moaning with pain for about 10 minutes. During which about 50 giant ants climbed on me and began biting :/
Ah well, at least the only person watching was a 7 year old
Well, i would've if my feet hadnt slipped off. Wham! slammed my balls right into the lamppost (and this was at speed i'll have you know)
but nooooooooo. the dignity diddnt end there. I procedded to fall onto the grassy bit next to the lamppost moaning with pain for about 10 minutes. During which about 50 giant ants climbed on me and began biting :/
Ah well, at least the only person watching was a 7 year old
T
throdgrain
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- #34
(you know Im right really ...)
C
Cdr
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- #35
I have a couple.
First one, I was 18months old, I came running thro from the living room to the hallway where there was a glass door. I fell and put my head thro the door. 18 stitches. Still see the scar to this day.
Second one, about 11 years old. Me and my brother were playing hide and seek up this relatively steep hill. It got time to come back down, except we'd wondered a long way and lost the bit we could actually get back down. So, my brother had the idea that we run down. He goes first, and grabs onto a tree to slow him down. He then holds out a stick (looking back on it, it was a fairly small stick), and shouts up to me 'Here, run down, and I'll hold this out for you'. Thinking what a good idea this is, I start running. He moves the stick. I fall over onto my knees, skid for a good few metres and hit a bench. Ripped my jeans and knees apart. Oh what fun it was, and how my brother laughed.
First one, I was 18months old, I came running thro from the living room to the hallway where there was a glass door. I fell and put my head thro the door. 18 stitches. Still see the scar to this day.
Second one, about 11 years old. Me and my brother were playing hide and seek up this relatively steep hill. It got time to come back down, except we'd wondered a long way and lost the bit we could actually get back down. So, my brother had the idea that we run down. He goes first, and grabs onto a tree to slow him down. He then holds out a stick (looking back on it, it was a fairly small stick), and shouts up to me 'Here, run down, and I'll hold this out for you'. Thinking what a good idea this is, I start running. He moves the stick. I fall over onto my knees, skid for a good few metres and hit a bench. Ripped my jeans and knees apart. Oh what fun it was, and how my brother laughed.
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Tom
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- #36
When I was a toddler apparently I was crawling up the stairs, I slipped and bit clean through my bottom lip. I still have the scar, and the lip protrudes slightly.
When I was about 6 I swallowed a king sized marble, and had to have my stomach pumped.
When I was 8 I was playing 'throw stones at eachother' with my best friend, unfortunately one hit my forehead, splitting it open. My mum almost fainted at the blood.
When I was 10 I was doing Steve Austin impressions in PE, jumping clean over the horsebox thingy, except the 3rd time I caught my foot on it, went over, and broke my forearm in 3 places.
When I was 11 I found this huge great big barrel, was playing with it, and it rolled over 2 of my fingers, breaking them in the process.
When I was about 6 I swallowed a king sized marble, and had to have my stomach pumped.
When I was 8 I was playing 'throw stones at eachother' with my best friend, unfortunately one hit my forehead, splitting it open. My mum almost fainted at the blood.
When I was 10 I was doing Steve Austin impressions in PE, jumping clean over the horsebox thingy, except the 3rd time I caught my foot on it, went over, and broke my forearm in 3 places.
When I was 11 I found this huge great big barrel, was playing with it, and it rolled over 2 of my fingers, breaking them in the process.
A
adams901
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- #37
I don't remember this but have been told it happened.
I was about 2 and was jumping on the chairs at my grandparents house, I fell of hit my head and started to cry, in a panic my grandad (who was in a wheelchair) wheeled out to the front porch at great speed to tell my dad, his wheelchair hit the step he fell out. My dad who was working under the bonnet of a car looked up and proceeded to stab himself with a screwdriver (not sure if he said he touched something electrical or whether it was the shock of me crying and my grandad falling out his wheelchair).
wish I did remember this as it does sound quite comical.
I was about 2 and was jumping on the chairs at my grandparents house, I fell of hit my head and started to cry, in a panic my grandad (who was in a wheelchair) wheeled out to the front porch at great speed to tell my dad, his wheelchair hit the step he fell out. My dad who was working under the bonnet of a car looked up and proceeded to stab himself with a screwdriver (not sure if he said he touched something electrical or whether it was the shock of me crying and my grandad falling out his wheelchair).
wish I did remember this as it does sound quite comical.
A
Arnor
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- #38
i once nicked my balls with a scissor, didnt hurt as much as it scared me, but the weird thing was that my mouth tasted metal right after the cut, no clue why. (and no i didnt have metal stuff in my mouth )
)
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mank
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- #39
Are your balls in your mouth?
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Tenko
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- #40
As I'm writing this I'm crossing my fingers, touching wood and stroking a lucky rabbit foot.
When I was a toddler I drove a trundle car down right across the living room and right through a french window.
No injuries
Soon after, when the remaining windows were put into the garage after they were being replaced I managed to knock one over , frame and all which smashed on my head and all around me.
No injuries
when I was about 4 I refused to jump off a 12 foot high wall in the precinct so the kid I was with pushed me off. I landed on my head and was rushed to casualty where they found I had suffered...
No injuries.
I'm nearly 30 and have never spent time in hospital, broken any bones or needed any stitches. I'm now getting completely fucking paranoid that fates saving a big one for me (Like a BBC Casualty style runaway manure truck or something).
ps: My 70 year old great aunt told me to keep the noise down when I was screaming about a stubbed toe. I told her to FUCK OFF! Does that count?
When I was a toddler I drove a trundle car down right across the living room and right through a french window.
No injuries
Soon after, when the remaining windows were put into the garage after they were being replaced I managed to knock one over , frame and all which smashed on my head and all around me.
No injuries
when I was about 4 I refused to jump off a 12 foot high wall in the precinct so the kid I was with pushed me off. I landed on my head and was rushed to casualty where they found I had suffered...
No injuries.
I'm nearly 30 and have never spent time in hospital, broken any bones or needed any stitches. I'm now getting completely fucking paranoid that fates saving a big one for me (Like a BBC Casualty style runaway manure truck or something).
ps: My 70 year old great aunt told me to keep the noise down when I was screaming about a stubbed toe. I told her to FUCK OFF! Does that count?
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S-Gray
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- #42
Cant really remember many when i was younger... But a couple of weeks ago...
I decided to take a week off work to go the gym, but as an added incentive i said "i know! i'll use my bicycle to get from a-b instead of using my car".
I hadnt used my bike in 3 years, it was still in good working order but i wasnt.
After a minute i got the feel of my bike and rode it like i used too. During the second minute i was picking my sorry arse up off the floor. Yeah.. i seen this big(ish) curb and thought "well when i was younger i remember doing that curb.."
I come off the first curb and got ready to jump, completely mistimed it, front wheel come down too fast hit the curb, spun and i went over handlebars into (would you believe?) a big fuck off puddle.
My whole side was soaking wet... and i noticed some guy with a pram walkin past... i just tried to make it look like nothing "ahh i did that on purpose! yeah..!" *gets on bike and rides off faster*
*cry*
I decided to take a week off work to go the gym, but as an added incentive i said "i know! i'll use my bicycle to get from a-b instead of using my car".
I hadnt used my bike in 3 years, it was still in good working order but i wasnt.
After a minute i got the feel of my bike and rode it like i used too. During the second minute i was picking my sorry arse up off the floor. Yeah.. i seen this big(ish) curb and thought "well when i was younger i remember doing that curb.."
I come off the first curb and got ready to jump, completely mistimed it, front wheel come down too fast hit the curb, spun and i went over handlebars into (would you believe?) a big fuck off puddle.
My whole side was soaking wet... and i noticed some guy with a pram walkin past... i just tried to make it look like nothing "ahh i did that on purpose! yeah..!" *gets on bike and rides off faster*
*cry*
X
xane
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- #43
I did that at senior school playing British Bulldog, I slipped and hit my chin on the playground, got up with blood streaming out my lower lip, then my mate comes up to me and taps me on the shoulder and says "you're it".
The next few weeks were embarrassing enough, I had to eat my sandwiches cut into "soldiers" to get round the swollen bit, and any drink through a straw (including coffee and tea).
M
mank
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- #44
I've only ever broken two fingers, once playing football I was in goal and the ball caught my little finger when I tried to reach it and it broke and another finger playing basketball. I put my arm through a glass window once, but I don't think that qualifies as comical.
I'm quite lucky with regards to injuries I guess.
I'm quite lucky with regards to injuries I guess.
C
CAC
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- #45
the stupidist thing i probably ever did as a child (and i did some stupid stuff allthough most of its just a blur these days) was to insert a marble in each nostril
not really an injury i know but it could have led to surgery i supose if i hadnt got them out with one good blow
not really an injury i know but it could have led to surgery i supose if i hadnt got them out with one good blow
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FatBusinessman
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- #46
Worst injury I've ever had (I'm afraid I'm something of a Tenko in that regard) was when I was about 3 or 4 years old, and my mum was trying to persuade me that I did want to go around Boots with her. I dug my heels in and refused to budge. She pulled on my arm.
Dislocating it at the elbow.
Got taken along to the doctors, they bandaged it up and sent me home to let it re-seat itself.
Their advice to my mum?
"Drag him around by the leg next time."
Dislocating it at the elbow.
Got taken along to the doctors, they bandaged it up and sent me home to let it re-seat itself.
Their advice to my mum?
"Drag him around by the leg next time."
M
mookie
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- #47
I broke my collarbone in college showing off to girls. Trying to do handstands, left arm buckled and i landed on my shoulder. mucho WTF'ing went on, I went into the toilet and lifted my arm up and the bones seperated. that hurt.
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Farsight
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- #48
When I was about 17, I couldnt be bothered to pluck my eyebrows, so I used a razor blade to shave them.
Well, my hand slipped and I damn near sliced the end of my nose off. I still have the scar
Well, my hand slipped and I damn near sliced the end of my nose off. I still have the scar
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bigfoot
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- #49
I got hit in the eye by a golf ball once when out on the course, was up by the green whilst one of my m8s in our four-ball was lagging behind trying to find his ball. He didn't, he dropped another ball, hit it, flew in the air, didn't shout fore until it landed at my feet and bounced up and hit me on the corner of my eye. Didn't require stitched but still have the scar.
I've also dislocated my finger and broken my leg / cracked my head when I got hit by a speeding car near a school in my y00f. I think it was Durzel perhaps learning to drive
.
I've also dislocated my finger and broken my leg / cracked my head when I got hit by a speeding car near a school in my y00f. I think it was Durzel perhaps learning to drive
.
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~Mobius~
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- #50
H_O_L_Y C_R_A_P
I cant even begin to imagine how painful that must've been ... god I loathe eyes...
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Embattle
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- #51
Originally posted by bigfoot
I think it was Durzel perhaps learning to drive
Thats a long time, he is still learning even now.
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Embattle
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- #52
I wanted to find out have sharp razor blades were so I decided to slice my finger with the razor, it didn't stop bleeding for some time.
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Bym
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- #53
On the subject of razor blades, I tried to copy my Dad and have a shave at the age of 4.......you can imagine the mess I made of my lip. Mum made me bathe it with salt water, OUCH!
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Embattle
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- #54
/Ding......another one enters the brain
When I was younger I opened cupboard which was rather high at the time, unfortunately for me the cupboard door was the only thing stopping the can of beans from falling, so once I opened it the can of beans fell and hit me right on the bridge part of my nose....although it didn't break.
When I was younger I opened cupboard which was rather high at the time, unfortunately for me the cupboard door was the only thing stopping the can of beans from falling, so once I opened it the can of beans fell and hit me right on the bridge part of my nose....although it didn't break.
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mank
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- #55
Someone dropped a melon on my Mum once and it broke her nose!
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S-Gray
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- #56
Ah tht reminded me of another... some knob shite was on a football field playing golf, he was at one end of the pitch and i was at the other... and the fucker hit me in the head with the golfball...
Accurate or what? Say the least after i recovered from my little headache i kicked shit out of the runt
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xane
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- #57
The "Golf Ball Eye" incident reminded me of another accident I had at school, some moron decided to use a lino tile as a frisbee and it caught me right in the corner of the eye, where your "crows feet" normally are.
It damaged a nerve there and for the next few months I was had an uncontrollable wink like that Chief of Police Charles Dreyfus character from the Pink Panther, kept getting smacked by girlies who though I was being fresh with them.
It damaged a nerve there and for the next few months I was had an uncontrollable wink like that Chief of Police Charles Dreyfus character from the Pink Panther, kept getting smacked by girlies who though I was being fresh with them.
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Cronn
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- #58
Was bike racing coming up to the finish and hit the brakes, passed the finish line feet first a second or so later the bike landed on top of me because I was still holding the handlebars
Threw an aerosol can on a fire and of course it exploded (like I expected it too) with a very large fireball which singed even the hair up my nose and put some nasty burns on my hand.
Threw an aerosol can on a fire and of course it exploded (like I expected it too) with a very large fireball which singed even the hair up my nose and put some nasty burns on my hand.
G
Gog
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- #59
10 years old playing gladiators with my mate in the back garden. I had a branch off some tree and the dustbin lid, he had the clothes-line prop.
He comes running at me like the Star Wars kid, swinging this stick all around. I blocked the first hit with the dustbin lid, which promptly sent a shockwave running up my arm, which hurt like hell. Meanwhile, the other end of the stick promptly came round and smacked me full in the face. Aside from giving me the biggest nosebleed I've ever seen, a little splinter of wood lodged itself right in the corner of my eye. Luckily it didnt do any real damage, as it was in the fleshy part of the eye rather than the eyeball itself.
Worst bit was actually having to go to school for a week with a huge bandage over my left eye with all the evil gits trying to blind my right eye with elastic bands/pens/fingers.
He comes running at me like the Star Wars kid, swinging this stick all around. I blocked the first hit with the dustbin lid, which promptly sent a shockwave running up my arm, which hurt like hell. Meanwhile, the other end of the stick promptly came round and smacked me full in the face. Aside from giving me the biggest nosebleed I've ever seen, a little splinter of wood lodged itself right in the corner of my eye. Luckily it didnt do any real damage, as it was in the fleshy part of the eye rather than the eyeball itself.
Worst bit was actually having to go to school for a week with a huge bandage over my left eye with all the evil gits trying to blind my right eye with elastic bands/pens/fingers.
O
old.ignus
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- #60
A few years back while I was still learning to drive I had to ride my bike to work, it was January it was icey. As I turned a corner I went a little too steep and the bike slipped from under me and as me and the bike slid across the road parallel to each other a bunch of school kids watched and giggled at my miss fortune.
And about 2 years ago I was trying to open a plastic bag with a serrated kitchen knife zoro stylee. On the swipe to the left I felt the teeth of the knife cutting their way through my left thumb and then the searing burning pain followed by the realisation of the side of my thumb flapping away from the rest of the thumb. I had to wait 1 hour in a hospital clutching onto my wound making both my hands numb from the applied pressure before they would see to me. I now have a scar that deforms my left thumb print, and the left side of my thumb is permanently numb.
And about 2 years ago I was trying to open a plastic bag with a serrated kitchen knife zoro stylee. On the swipe to the left I felt the teeth of the knife cutting their way through my left thumb and then the searing burning pain followed by the realisation of the side of my thumb flapping away from the rest of the thumb. I had to wait 1 hour in a hospital clutching onto my wound making both my hands numb from the applied pressure before they would see to me. I now have a scar that deforms my left thumb print, and the left side of my thumb is permanently numb.