C
caLLous
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- #61
ran into a door handle when i was 8 or 9 and knocked 2 teeth back... wasn't pleasant
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Trem
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- #62
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
uke:
uke:
M
Munkey-
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- #63
i broke my arm when a door opened on me. which wasnt bad enough. then nobody would believe that it was broken.......................THEY MOVED IT AROUND AND HIT IT!!!!! DAMN U!!!!! *sigh* happy school memories.
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Hashmonster
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- #64
just one teeth one ok,
Me and my mate were having a mess around wrestling fight when he kinda just threw me over. Well i went head first and land directly on my front 2 teeth, they didn't take it very well. That was the first incident which meant that when they were repaired they ain't as strong anymore
have to admit the funniest so far was damini's hair on fire one, sorry damini
Me and my mate were having a mess around wrestling fight when he kinda just threw me over. Well i went head first and land directly on my front 2 teeth, they didn't take it very well. That was the first incident which meant that when they were repaired they ain't as strong anymore
have to admit the funniest so far was damini's hair on fire one, sorry damini
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Sir Frizz
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- #65
When i was an ickle frizz, back in the day, i was sat at one of those baby stool thingies. Then the doorbell rang and my mother went to answer it. I began rocking on the chair and expectadly, it fell over and smacked my face on some 'ard bastard flooring. The resulting incident meant i had broken my nose.
i suppose my other injuries wernt really comedic. neither was the above but its all i can remeber at this time.
i suppose my other injuries wernt really comedic. neither was the above but its all i can remeber at this time.
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PR.
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- #66
Ok I got a view, none involve bone breaking...
When I was 4 or so my grandfather gave me a woodern recorder (woodwind instrument) wich I was running around with in the town center playing... til I tripped over and shoved the recorder into the roof of my mouth, nearly choked on the blood
Went to a theme park and one of those helter skelters with the mat you sit on. I got to the bottom went to get up but someone smashed into me from behind, I had a lovely amount of coconut hair from the mats in my knee
On holiday I ran outside into a dewy morning with me slippers on went to run back inside slipped and fell head first into the pebble dashed floor
Oh and there was the time I nearly choked to death on a cucumber slice witched lodged flat across my throat, sat in casualty for an hour until the cucumber became soggy and I swollowed it.
The time when I bruised me wrist (shutit) and had it x-rayed about 10 times cos there equipment was faulty
Awww none of mine sound very funny
When I was 4 or so my grandfather gave me a woodern recorder (woodwind instrument) wich I was running around with in the town center playing... til I tripped over and shoved the recorder into the roof of my mouth, nearly choked on the blood
Went to a theme park and one of those helter skelters with the mat you sit on. I got to the bottom went to get up but someone smashed into me from behind, I had a lovely amount of coconut hair from the mats in my knee
On holiday I ran outside into a dewy morning with me slippers on went to run back inside slipped and fell head first into the pebble dashed floor
Oh and there was the time I nearly choked to death on a cucumber slice witched lodged flat across my throat, sat in casualty for an hour until the cucumber became soggy and I swollowed it.
The time when I bruised me wrist (shutit) and had it x-rayed about 10 times cos there equipment was faulty
Awww none of mine sound very funny
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Sir Frizz
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- #67
Aha! I remember one now. When i was about 11-12, Myself and a next door neighbour were mucking about in the backgarden, and being the buck toothed bastiche he was, and me not looking where i was going, ran into his teeth, which left me with a nice dent in my forehead and him with a bruised tooth.
Not really funny, but then again, is it ever. Jeremy Beadle seems to have covered this already. Cant remember the name of the show.
Not really funny, but then again, is it ever. Jeremy Beadle seems to have covered this already. Cant remember the name of the show.
D
Damini
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- #68
Geese chased me until I cried and Kenny just laughed at me
Then children laughed at me
Then some men dressed as saxons laughed at me
Seeing as Kenny will spill the beans anyway.
Then children laughed at me
Then some men dressed as saxons laughed at me
Seeing as Kenny will spill the beans anyway.
T
Testin da Cable
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- #69
Originally posted by Bodhi
Well im going snowboarding in 2 weeks time so I'm sure I'll have another few stories to tell when I get back. Mental note - must not play Tony Hawk's 3 before snowboarding. My attempts at a 720 Japan Air + heelgrab + FS Revert + Nose Manual might end in tears
Bodhi anally impaled on evergreen shocka!
oh dear.../me hides
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Hashmonster
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- #70
Originally posted by PR
Awww none of mine sound very funny
Damn right PR, your ones sound f'ing painful!
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old.[MAD]Lexx
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- #71
Heh, it's weird how much nasty shit happens to just a few people eh?!
What next?
How about drunken behaviour stories?
Back when I was at Bournemouth uni there was this thing about nicking street signs and the like - I think it's the same at any uni. Well we were walking back from the Cage - a cool night club, and after picking up a sandwich board on the way, we met a road sign - I think it was one of those workman jobs - you know, the one with the d00d trying to wank an umbrella - well it was being kept down with a sandbag. The 2 of us grabbed that as well, with the sand bag of course, and we proceeded up the road. To our horrer a cop car was driving down the road towards us, so we crouched behind a bus stop. It was one of those ones with the bench and plastic wall with a roof like. After about a minute or so we looked up, only to notice that it wasn't a painted plastic wall thing, it was more like a window - with a cop car the other side!
I think they found it quite funny seeing 2 20-year-old boys crouching/hiding behind a transparant wall, one with a sandwich board over his head, the other with a road sign, both clinging onto a sandbag for dear life!!
The bastard cops made us walk back up the highstreet and put the sandwich board back while they drove slowly along side us!!! Haven't they got anything better to do?!!
What next?
How about drunken behaviour stories?
Back when I was at Bournemouth uni there was this thing about nicking street signs and the like - I think it's the same at any uni. Well we were walking back from the Cage - a cool night club, and after picking up a sandwich board on the way, we met a road sign - I think it was one of those workman jobs - you know, the one with the d00d trying to wank an umbrella - well it was being kept down with a sandbag. The 2 of us grabbed that as well, with the sand bag of course, and we proceeded up the road. To our horrer a cop car was driving down the road towards us, so we crouched behind a bus stop. It was one of those ones with the bench and plastic wall with a roof like. After about a minute or so we looked up, only to notice that it wasn't a painted plastic wall thing, it was more like a window - with a cop car the other side!
I think they found it quite funny seeing 2 20-year-old boys crouching/hiding behind a transparant wall, one with a sandwich board over his head, the other with a road sign, both clinging onto a sandbag for dear life!!
The bastard cops made us walk back up the highstreet and put the sandwich board back while they drove slowly along side us!!! Haven't they got anything better to do?!!
D
Damini
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- #72
Me and Kenny stole a landlady on New Years Eve...
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WPKenny
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- #73
That one made me laugh Lexx.
Drunken stories? My god you'll end up with enough anecdotes to write a book out of this lot!
I'll add one or two of mine.
I used to get bored on the long walk home from the bus stop after my nights out in town so on the way I'd get myself some curry sauce and chips from the chinese take-away and when I was done, I place the container upside down underneath the windscreen wiper on someone's car.
Then to be even more of a cunt, there was this old guy who kept his front garden immaculate. He had this pond with a little fishing gnome and stuff.
Over the course of a few months I would do more and more damage to this pond. First I'd just pull lillies out and chuck em somewhere, then I stole some plastic bottle he'd put in there. I presume it was a bottle full of salt water to help prevent the pond from freezing and killing all the fish. Heh.
Next was the little gnome's fishing rod.
And to cap it all off, there wasn't really much left to fuck with cos he didn't bother replacing the stuff, so I took the gnome.
Only thing was it was cemented to the side of the pond! So about half the side of the pond came with it as I hoofed it over his little front garden wall. It was a huge gnome about 2 ft tall and I didn't really fancy the job of hiding it so I put it in the entrance to a little park over the road from his house.
The next day the gnome was gone and a few days later the side of the pond was all cemented up...sans gnome.
Ah well. I'm not like that any more. But there's lots more stories from back when I was very much like that. heh.
Drunken stories? My god you'll end up with enough anecdotes to write a book out of this lot!
I'll add one or two of mine.
I used to get bored on the long walk home from the bus stop after my nights out in town so on the way I'd get myself some curry sauce and chips from the chinese take-away and when I was done, I place the container upside down underneath the windscreen wiper on someone's car.
Then to be even more of a cunt, there was this old guy who kept his front garden immaculate. He had this pond with a little fishing gnome and stuff.
Over the course of a few months I would do more and more damage to this pond. First I'd just pull lillies out and chuck em somewhere, then I stole some plastic bottle he'd put in there. I presume it was a bottle full of salt water to help prevent the pond from freezing and killing all the fish. Heh.
Next was the little gnome's fishing rod.
And to cap it all off, there wasn't really much left to fuck with cos he didn't bother replacing the stuff, so I took the gnome.
Only thing was it was cemented to the side of the pond! So about half the side of the pond came with it as I hoofed it over his little front garden wall. It was a huge gnome about 2 ft tall and I didn't really fancy the job of hiding it so I put it in the entrance to a little park over the road from his house.
The next day the gnome was gone and a few days later the side of the pond was all cemented up...sans gnome.
Ah well. I'm not like that any more. But there's lots more stories from back when I was very much like that.
heh.
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old.[MAD]Lexx
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- #74
Bastard! I bet that gnome was from his wife who died 2 years before and that was all he had to remember her by!!!
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old.Reverend Flatus
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- #75
Ouch, that brings back a painful memory. It hurt much more pulling the bastard out!Originally posted by Daf
i once stood on a drawing pin....does that count?
Ow, ow, bloody pain memory, thanks Daf.
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xenon2000
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- #76
Originally posted by Damini
Geese chased me until I cried and Kenny just laughed at me
Then children laughed at me
Then some men dressed as saxons laughed at me
Seeing as Kenny will spill the beans anyway.
aww...
P
PR.
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- #77
I know someone who trod on the bar in a clothes belt, went right through her foot
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Wilier
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- #78
I broke both my ankles in a comedy OVER THE BARS mountainbike accident.
I was racing at the time, and lost control, OTB and landed slap down on my feet. Unfortunatley I smashed one and cracked the other.
Ouch.
I was racing at the time, and lost control, OTB and landed slap down on my feet. Unfortunatley I smashed one and cracked the other.
Ouch.
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old.Reverend Flatus
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- #79
Damn, that revived another buried agony...When I was about six we had a wooden thingy for hanging clothes on to dry. It was made of pieces of 1x2 connected with dowels which were about half an inch in diameter (that's about a centimetre in modern money). I fell on it and one of the dowels split into a dagger shape and went about an inch and a half into the sole of my foot.
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bodhi
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- #80
My leg fell off once. But it got better.
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old.[MAD]Lexx
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- #81
Liar!
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old.Jas
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- #82
I got a splinter under my finger nail once - my hand brushed straight across a dodgy wood wall.
It went straight in at the tip of the finger, under the nail and came out where the nail joins the top of the finger.
Didn't hurt a bit, until the Doc in Casualty pulled it out
It went straight in at the tip of the finger, under the nail and came out where the nail joins the top of the finger.
Didn't hurt a bit, until the Doc in Casualty pulled it out
P
PR.
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- #83
My dad used to work for the electricity board and dropped a concrete man hole cover on his thumb. Finger went black and his fingernail fell off, ouch
/me shivers
/me shivers
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old.D3-
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- #84
lol, very funny stories so far
Ones I've been involved in:
When I was 17 ( 20 now ) I left my PC to go lie in bed and watch TV for a bit, jumped onto the bed, hit it, springs decided to do their "thing" and bounced right back off it again onto the deskside table - Left eye area = stitches.
When I was 14-15 I was on my dads partners house plot ( they were building his house ) and decided to go exporing. After moping around for several minutes I decided to go back to them ( which involves going up some stairs ). As I lifted my left foot I found that it would move forward - something kept hitting the first step. I looked down to find I had a small plank of wood stuck to the sole of my shoe via a nail which was through the plank, the shoe, my foot and out the other side. I never noticed it tbh, I mean I was walking on rubble so that kinda disguised it but I didn't feel it or anything
Ones I've witnessed:
On a school skiing trip to Italy, the instructor was informing us ( at the top of the moutin ) that although we may fly off and wipe out time to time, we really have nothing to fear.
Moments after he said that, some local italian flew off a cliff, overhead of 15 schoolkids and landed face first on a worn out part ( gravel ).
He was air lifted out shortly afterwoods
Ones I've been involved in:
When I was 17 ( 20 now ) I left my PC to go lie in bed and watch TV for a bit, jumped onto the bed, hit it, springs decided to do their "thing" and bounced right back off it again onto the deskside table - Left eye area = stitches.
When I was 14-15 I was on my dads partners house plot ( they were building his house ) and decided to go exporing. After moping around for several minutes I decided to go back to them ( which involves going up some stairs ). As I lifted my left foot I found that it would move forward - something kept hitting the first step. I looked down to find I had a small plank of wood stuck to the sole of my shoe via a nail which was through the plank, the shoe, my foot and out the other side. I never noticed it tbh, I mean I was walking on rubble so that kinda disguised it but I didn't feel it or anything
Ones I've witnessed:
On a school skiing trip to Italy, the instructor was informing us ( at the top of the moutin ) that although we may fly off and wipe out time to time, we really have nothing to fear.
Moments after he said that, some local italian flew off a cliff, overhead of 15 schoolkids and landed face first on a worn out part ( gravel ).
He was air lifted out shortly afterwoods
S
Sir Frizz
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- #85
Thats hardcore, jeeze.
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Trem
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- #86
One time me and a couple m8s were smoking some "special" baccy, we had used a needle to erm burn the tiny bit left, me m8 thought it wud be a good idea to leave the needle sticking in the carpet, i then proceded to stand on said needle which in turn went into me foot and hit the bone then snapped off inside me foot, oh how i laughed having that operation to remove it!
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old.D3-
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- #87
This one time, at bandcamp..
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Sar
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- #88
You don't have a pussy, so this should be interesting...
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old.D3-
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- #89
gotta love te kid in the second one
"This one time, at.. here. A vistor came, he had food. It attracted a bear, the bear came, so they shot it and they killed it and it died."
"This one time, at.. here. A vistor came, he had food. It attracted a bear, the bear came, so they shot it and they killed it and it died."
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Sar
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- #90
Ahh, ain't seen the sequel yet. Might download it at the weekend