Comedy Injuries

[Sar]

You lot are accident prone buggers.

<--Never broken a bone in his body in his life!



Only scars I have is my appendix one from when I was young and nearly died of appedicitis (always fun that), and on my right foot from when I was a kid sliding down a hill, failed to spot a rather rusty spike stuck out of the ground and sorta well, you can guess the rest.

Wasn't that serious, but it did leave a scar though.


And all the chicks dig it.















Ok, they don't

 

[Wij]

Originally posted by SomeGuy
Was anyone else strangely aroused by the Damini story? :/

I've never cleaned my teeth since that day

On reflection I never cleaned em before either :/

 

[caLLous]

Originally posted by Sar
You lot are accident prone buggers.

<--Never broken a bone in his body in his life!

i hope you're happy... you just condemned yourself to a life of pain and brokenness. jinxed i tell you! JINXED!

 

[Damini]

Is it too late to get all my booster injections?

 

[Will]

OK, it's time for my comedy hot-rock stories. I think a list of the top three places is called for. I'd like to clearly state these all happened to friends of mine.

• Eyelid - Do not smoke while lying back, and then laugh.
• Nipple - Smoking naked in bed is bad. This was a female acquaintance.
• Bellend - See above. This one was male.

 

[~Lazarus~]

Originally posted by testin_da_cable

My helmet had a huge gash down the right side

Is your "helmet" not meant to have a gash in it???

My personal injury was caused at soccer. Went up for a cross and descended onto the ascending hip of the opposing player - ended up with a ruptured artery in my groin.

 

[Damini]

I drove once for six miles with my hair on fire... that sucked. Threw a ciggie out the window, (or so I thought), drove along, happy as larry. Could smell smoke so I figured they were burning fields, so I shut the window and turned on the blower. Few miles down the road I can still smell smoke, so I pull over, and start frantically rummaging in the back seat for the cigarrette that was now visibly smoking wherever I looked... then looked down at my incredibly long hair (as it was then) and saw a smouldering cigarette butt happily lodged in there. Sitting, chin wobbling, by the side of the road, pulling out clumps of melted hair.... The horror....

 

[Wij]

Originally posted by Damini
Is it too late to get all my booster injections?

Nah, just drop your knickers...

/edit : Is WPKenny annoyed yet ?

 

[kanonfodda]

Does headbutting a small gardening fork count?

Fell out the back door with it in my hand, inbedded it in my head. still got the scar, just above my hairline.

didn't go in too far, so I didn't suffer any brain damage....

...me neither.

 

[Damini]

Lol, he's too full of business and suit at the moment to get riled by anthing other than faxes and broken satellite links Maybe after five o'clock he'll get round to beating his hairy chest and dragging me back to the cave.

 

[Summo]

Originally posted by kanonfodda
didn't go in too far, so I didn't suffer any brain damage....

...me neither.

That made me larf a stupid amount.

 

[kanonfodda]

Originally posted by SomeGuy


That made me larf a stupid amount.

heh, glad to make your day

 

[old.Evil Ted]

While on a boxing training camp in Germany i split my lower lip doing jump press ups (the ones where you push off the ground and clap), as my hands hit the floor they slipped and i ended up head butting the floor. Had two stitches in my lip and couldn’t box in the tournament .

 

[Sar]

How could you miss the floor?

 

[old.[MAD]Lexx]

Back when I was somewhere around 16 I had an urge to tone my body up and went straight down to Argos to get me some weights... This was all fine and dandy until I realised how damn heavy they were and all I had was a bike and an, albeit fairly large, rucksack...
Cycling down the road with weights in a bag on my back seemed a really good idea until for some unknown reason they all decided to roll to one side - the guy in the car behind only just stopped in time as I crashed to the floor at an unnatural speed.
I guess it might have been mildly funny watching a teenager riding in a straight line all of a sudden drop to the floor as if an imaginary elastic band was attached from his head to the grating on the floor!
He did his best to stop the tears as he helped lift me from underneath the bike - I'm sure it wasn't *that* funny!

 

[bodhi]

Well im going snowboarding in 2 weeks time so I'm sure I'll have another few stories to tell when I get back. Mental note - must not play Tony Hawk's 3 before snowboarding. My attempts at a 720 Japan Air + heelgrab + FS Revert + Nose Manual might end in tears

 

[Wij]

That would be schw33t to watch tho

 

[Moving Target]

About a year ago I was on the toilet, did my business and flushed the toilet only for the toilet handle to snap and slice my thumb open. Had to get stitches :/

 

[Sar]

Must've been a doozy of a brick you laid

 

[old.ignus]

Once went to cut open a bag of chips in a zorro stylee, however on the final stroke I missed and hit my thumb, the final stroke being a left hand saw like stroke and the knife being serrated resulted in half of the left side of my left thumb being cut off bone deep. Waiting for an hour in the waiting room of the local hospital with only the pressure from my right hand (see I knew channel 5 was good for something) to stop the bleeding. The two flaps of flesh rubbing together was quite a horrible and painful feeling.

I won't start with the skatboarding and blading injuries.

 

[Daffeh]

i once stood on a drawing pin....does that count?

 

[Damini]

Unless the tip was laced with a bizarre hallucenagin, or the shock of stepping on the pin caused you to suddenly and violently poo yourself in public and/or leap into electric pylons.... no.

Must try harder Daf.

 

[Daffeh]

hmm ok, i'll have a little think about...get back to you later

 

[Trem]

A few more....
me boss got 2 black-eyes from throwing up so hard last xmas,a bloke who comes in my shop sat on his balls(i know)he walked like john wayne for a week,me mums boyfriend got his ear ripped/stamped off playing rugby, not comedy u may say, if u knew the dick you wud laff!!:touch:

 

[Hashmonster]

me had a couple,

Trying to be flash on the old park swings, going really high and then jumping off - it all went wrong and i landed on my arm with wrist at a funny angle. Then looked at the wrist and noticed that it was now a funny Z shape, not good - oh and once i had got to the hospital they decided to tell me i had fractured my right wrist also.

which was nice.

And the amount of times i've smashed my front two teeth is countless!

 

[Trem]

Ahhhh teeth injuries really bother me, please dont tell those stories hash:uhoh:

 

[Hashmonster]

u know u wanna know Trem

 

[Trem]

just 1 then *clinches fists+bum-cheeks*

 

[*Kornholio*]

Originally posted by [MAD]Lexx
Back when I was somewhere around 16 I had an urge to tone my body up and went straight down to Argos to get me some weights... This was all fine and dandy until I realised how damn heavy they were and all I had was a bike and an, albeit fairly large, rucksack...
Cycling down the road with weights in a bag on my back seemed a really good idea until for some unknown reason they all decided to roll to one side - the guy in the car behind only just stopped in time as I crashed to the floor at an unnatural speed.
I guess it might have been mildly funny watching a teenager riding in a straight line all of a sudden drop to the floor as if an imaginary elastic band was attached from his head to the grating on the floor!
He did his best to stop the tears as he helped lift me from underneath the bike - I'm sure it wasn't *that* funny!

I'm sure it was m8, made me laugh & I wasn't even there

 

[Trem]

Yeah me girlfriend read it and laughed her tits off, funniest was daminis hair on fire story tho.