Bad taste The Bad Taste Joke Thread

Bodhi

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If anybody knows of any lonely old people who will be eating Christmas dinner alone because they have no family or close friends, can they let me know?

I need to borrow some chairs.
 

Moriath

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If anybody knows of any lonely old people who will be eating Christmas dinner alone because they have no family or close friends, can they let me know?

I need to borrow some chairs.
My mums got some ;)
 

BloodOmen

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What's four feet wide, sits at the side of the road and waits for a cunt to come along?

A cycle path.
 

georgie

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What's four feet wide, sits at the side of the road and waits for a cunt to come along?

A cycle path.
Not to be a killjoy and risk ruining the joke by having to explain it, but I don't get it.
These kind of jokes tend to work by subverting expectations, what are we supposed to think is four feet wide, sitting at the side of the road and waiting for a cunt?
 

Job

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Not by us.
The joke would read, whats 2 lanes wide, got a sixty mph speed limit, no space to pass and got a cunt on a bike riding on it.
 

Job

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Seven-year-old Mohammad entered his classroom in Dublin on the first day of school..

"What's your name?", asked the teacher.

"Mohammad," he replied.

"You're in Ireland now," replied the teacher, "so from now on you will be known as Mick."

Mohammad returned home after school. "How was your day, Mohammad?" his mother asked. "My name is not Mohammad. I'm in Ireland and now my name is Mick." "Are you ashamed of your name?" his mother asked. "Are you trying to dishonor your parents, your heritage, your religion? Shame on you!" And his mother beat the shit out of him. Then she called his father, who beat the shit out of him again.

The next day Mohammad returned to school.

The teacher saw all his fresh bruises.

"What happened to you, Mick?" she asked.

"Well, shortly after becoming an Irishman, I was attacked by two fucking Pakis
 

Gwadien

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I find HA MEAT vegan jokes as funny as Jobs HA PAKI jokes.

And before you start with your boomer bullshit, it has nothing to do with being offended :)
 

Moriath

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I find HA MEAT vegan jokes as funny as Jobs HA PAKI jokes.

And before you start with your boomer bullshit, it has nothing to do with being offended :)
Ah so vegans are a race now? Haha
 

Scouse

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Ah so vegans are a race now? Haha
No. To me it's white van man humour - (Not that I hate all white van drivers before the inevitable accusations of hypocricy) - we all know what I mean from that. It's ha-ha dumb "aren't vegans wankers" crap - and exactly the sort of content you'd expect from "patriot humour".
 

Scouse

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To be fair. Lets not fuck this thread up with discussion again.
 

BloodOmen

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Not a joke so to speak but I feel it definitely belongs in here due to some of the language.

 

SilverHood

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Prince Charles is self isolating with Covid-19 and Prince Andrew is self isolating with Emily-15.
 

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