The absolute worst jokes you know thread

[Svartmetall]

Pick one joke. Only one, and make it the worst you know. Let us collate a colossally cringe-inducing compendium of corn!

Allow me to start the ball rolling with:


Q: What do you call a gun with three barrels?

A: A trifle.

 

[FoxeH]

Q: What shakes and wobbles?

A: A jelly coppter

 

[Krait]

Q. What's a Grecian Urn ?

A. About 20 Drachma.

 

[Bugz]

Q. What did the policeman say to his belly?

A. Your under a vest.

 

[Trallisx]

How do you make a Vanician Blind?

Poke his eyes out.

 

[Pirkel]

Two Trolls fell off a cliff.

Boom Boom.

(Bah Svart know it's not my joke, Jadar tells it much better )

 

[chretien]

What's ET short for?

Because he's only got little legs.

 

[Thorwyn]

Warlocks

 

[evzy]

What do you call a man with a shovel in his head?


Doug

 

[Gamah]

What do you call a dear with no eyes?

No Idea :<

 

[Himse]

Why did the chicken cross the road?



olol you all know XD

 

[Vladamir]

Why did the chicken cross the road?



olol you all know XD

xDD

What do you call a fish without eye's?.

Fsh

 

[Amanita]

Why didn't the ghost go to the party?

Because he had nobody to go with.

 

[old.Tohtori]

GOA customer service.

 

[Gamah]

GOA customer service.

Weak Humour Detected!

 

[Yshynsin]

Who is the leader of the napkins,

The hanker cheif :<

 

[Bahumat]

What's the time...

 

[Aran Thule]

What do you call a short sighted dinosaur?
Dyathinkhesaurus

 

[Rediknight]

Q. How many Freudians does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Two - one to change the lightbulb and one to hold my cock... I MEAN ladder...

 

[scarloc]

Did you hear about the magic tractor?

It went down the road then turned into a field.

 

[evzy]

Why has Edward Woodward got 4 D's in his name?


Because otherwise he would be called Ewar Woowar

 

[Dakkath]

I've always been told every joke I know is amongst the worst in the world, so here goes...

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What do you call a donkey with 3 legs?

A wonkey.
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A horse walks into a bar and asks the barman for a lager..

"Sure" says the barman.."but why the long face?"
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A woman carrying her baby,steps onto a bus and pays the driver.

The driver looks at her baby and says.."My god woman,thats the ugliest damned baby I ever layed eyes on".With this,the woman scowls and takes a seat next to a gentleman at the back of the bus.

She says to the gentleman-"Can you believe the cheeck of some people?That bus driver just said i had the ugliest baby he ever saw!"

The man replies-"Thats terrible,you shouldn't let him get away with that,go tell him what for,let him know you're angry"

"Yes,I think I will" she replies.

"Good for you" says the gentleman,"I'll hold your monkey for you"
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NEWSFLASH!.... A man arrived at hospital today after falling downstairs and landing on the handle of a dyson hoover....

Doctors say he is picking up nicely.
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A woman walks into a doctors with a wombat growing out of her head.The doctor says "MY GOD!!! HOW ON EARTH DID THIS HAPPEN?"

To which the wombat replies,"Well,it started as a boil on my bum"
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Two cannibals eating a clown, one says to the other one "Does this meat taste funny to you?"
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[Rediknight]

Whats brown and sticky?


a stick...


ill not get my coat, you can mail it on

 

[crispy]

Why are pirates pirates?

Because they ARrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

or the jeoparty way:

What is because it ARrrrrrrrrrrr??

Pirates

 

[Equador]

Who is the leader of the napkins,

The hanker cheif :<

This one actually made me laugh

 

[Dantares]

What do you call a dear with no eyes?

No Idea :<

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

Still no idea.

 

[Cadiva]

Whats brown and sticky?


a stick...


ill not get my coat, you can mail it on

For the older Freddys, a follow up to this one:

What's brown and runny?

Linford Christie

/em ducks and runs away


1 What's red and lies in the gutter?

A dead bus.

 

[evzy]

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?




Because it was dead.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Weak Humour Detected!

Yes..err...umm...i love goa..or did when i played...no complaints ...but..u...

*looks around*

*backs away slowly*

*runs*

Start the car!!

 

[Morchaoron]

A very very ugly woman walks into a shop with her two sons.A man asks her:"are they twins ?"
woman replies, "no. One is 7 years old and the other is just 3.Why do u ask ?"The man replies: " I just can't believe someone fucked you twice..!"