The absolute worst jokes you know thread

[Ezteq]

how did the elephant get out of the tree?

sat on a leaf and waited till autumn.

 

[Overdriven]

Why has Edward Woodward got 4 D's in his name?


Because otherwise he would be called Ewar Woowar

\o/ Made me laugh IRL.



What does a person with 2 left feet wear?

Flip Flips

 

[Chosen]

Two cats walked over a bridge! Then suddenly one jumped down!

Why?

The other cat had a green scarf!

 

[DavidH]

Two cats walked over a bridge! Then suddenly one jumped down!

Why?

The other cat had a green scarf!

One friend blocked another friend olol. One friend should unblock already so I have someone to piss off again!

 

[Vladamir]

A very very ugly woman walks into a shop with her two sons.A man asks her:"are they twins ?"
woman replies, "no. One is 7 years old and the other is just 3.Why do u ask ?"The man replies: " I just can't believe someone fucked you twice..!"

Lol xd

 

[Phooka]

Q. What is wet, sour and very helpfull?

A. Lemonaid


sry you said stoopid joke

 

[Lamp]

What do you call a lame post ?

Lame

 

[Himse]

What do you call a lame post ?

Lame

thats not a joke :< thats sarcasm.... :<

 

[Jorof]

A farmer says to a customer :
"if you can guess how many chickens im holding, i'll give you both of them."

 

[Lamp]

Grab a deck of playing cards and ask your mate if he's ever seen the Leicester Shuffle ?

No, says matey.

Take 15 or so cards. Discard the rest. Shuffle the 15 then tell your mate:
"See ? Less to shuffle"

Boom boom

 

[pip]

Why did the hedgehog cross the road


To see is flat mate

 

[Kharok Svark]

What's white and wears yellow tartan trousers ?

Rupert the Fridge !

 

[Dobleblade]

A very very ugly woman walks into a shop with her two sons.A man asks her:"are they twins ?"
woman replies, "no. One is 7 years old and the other is just 3.Why do u ask ?"The man replies: " I just can't believe someone fucked you twice..!"

omg i nearly shat laughing...lol

one for the road...

Why did the girl fall off the swing?

because she had no arm's.!!

apologise for those with no arms.:worthy:
(then again how the fuck do you type or use a mouse??)

 

[Basic_X]

Why was Jon walking backwards on the first day of school?
Everyone kept saying it was back to school time.



or:

- Ask me if I'm a tree.
- Huh?
- Ask me if I'm a tree.
- Are you a tree?
- No.



or we could just say:

What did the tie say to the neck?
I think I'll just hang around.

 

[Rediknight]

Told it before, but it's still funneh

How you get a goth out of a tree?


Cut the rope.

 

[Phooka]

Q. How do you piss off a gorilla..
A. you spank his monkey...


Q. Why did the gay rooster cross the road?
A. Cuz the chicks were driving him mad..

 

[adoNix]

Q. How many gm's does it take to change a light bulb?
A None.. it's working as intended

-.-

 

[Lamp]

How many FH moderators does it take to change a light bulb ?

One. He holds the light bulb still and the world revolves around him.

 

[Chronictank]

How many FH moderators does it take to change a light bulb ?

One. He holds the light bulb still and the world revolves around him.

Q. How many gm's does it take to change a light bulb?
A None.. it's working as intended

-.-

i found these funny
rep for you both

edit: or not
You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Lamp again.

 

[Haggus]

whats long, hard, flexibul, can be jurked, fits inbetween a womens brests and fits into a snug little hole ?

A seat belt

 

[evzy]

How many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb

2 , One to screw in the bulb , the other to remark how much better it is than doing it with a man.

 

[Rediknight]

Why do pigeons fly upside down over Highbury?


ain't nothin worth shittin' on down there

 

[evzy]

How many elephants can you fit in a mini cooper?



5 :2 In front , 2 In back , 1 In the boot.

 

[pip]

Did you hear about paddy he tryed to blow up a car and burned is lips on the exhaust

 

[Lamp]

Why do pigeons fly upside down over Highbury?


ain't nothin worth shittin' on down there

Repd

 

[Yshynsin]

(then again how the fuck do you type or use a mouse??)

Use your head! Or your nose

 

[Lamp]

What does Jodie Marsh put behind her ears to make her more attractive ?

Her ankles.

 

[Basic_X]

- What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the mud, and crosses back over?
- A dirty double crosser.

 

[Simemir]

What do you call a fly with no wings?

A walk

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What do you call Postman Pat, when he's unemployed?


Pat

 

[Cadiva]

What's white and wears yellow tartan trousers ?

Rupert the Fridge !

What's white and flies through the jungle?

Tarzan the Fridge