Shocked and didn't see this coming :(

[old.user4556]

It was a semi serious answer , I CBA with long replies on mobile.

 

[Cerb]

Actually this isn't always the case, speaking from experience, but I digress.


living with the girl in question at her parents' house. Funny thing was, all the sympathy and attention was given to me. Still got away from there as quickly as I could though and once again my mates were there for me. I still get a Christmas card from her parents...

I haven't been in this situation myself but I have seen it happen when two people broke up and her parents sided with him because they liked him so much and he was "such a nice lad".

The problem is that even if they side with you 1. Her parents nagging her to stay with you is only going to make her angry and 2. Eventually they are going to see it's not going to happen, and when they do, they are going back on her side.

You made the absolute right call getting out of there sharpish.

 

[throdgrain]

Actually this isn't always the case, speaking from experience, but I digress.



Best advice here.

I've only really been in Amphrax's situation once (as in his emotional state rather than a general split-up situation); unfortunately I think for most men once is enough and they develop a kind of emotional callous about it after that; I've certainly never been burned quite the same way again. Anyway, the thing that got me through it was my mates. I was 21 at the time and I pretty much went on the lash for about six months and was encouraged to get back into the saddle as quickly as possible. The interesting thing for me was that when it all happened I was actually living with the girl in question at her parents' house. Funny thing was, all the sympathy and attention was given to me. Still got away from there as quickly as I could though and once again my mates were there for me. I still get a Christmas card from her parents...

I was in a similar situation once too, it was my first real girlfriend (the second girl I'd shagged ) I was 17 when we met and she was 21, which can seem a lot at that age. She was blonde and quite good looking and a bit of a flirt, and after we had split up when I was 19 I looked back after getting over the trauma of it all and though fuck that, Im not putting up with that shit again.

Anyway, we met a couple of years later, she told me she was getting married in two weeks, they had a new house with all new stuff, non of it to be used until after the wedding, proper old school stuff. She took me round to see the house, and I ended up shagging her in her new, unsued, matrimonial bed. Afterwards she kinda looked at me as if to say, Im not happy with this situation, get me out of it.

Needless to say, I got the hell outa dodge

 

[Mey]

My favourite ultimate head fuckery trick that some women pull is to actually break up with you and then contact you when they feel guilty and or lonely about it, they are doing this to ease their own guilt about the situation.

It has nothing to do with getting back to with you, they use you and your own current state of insecurity (due to being ditched) to heal themselves.

 

[Gwadien]

I was in a similar situation once too, it was my first real girlfriend (the second girl I'd shagged ) I was 17 when we met and she was 21, which can seem a lot at that age. She was blonde and quite good looking and a bit of a flirt, and after we had split up when I was 19 I looked back after getting over the trauma of it all and though fuck that, Im not putting up with that shit again.

Anyway, we met a couple of years later, she told me she was getting married in two weeks, they had a new house with all new stuff, non of it to be used until after the wedding, proper old school stuff. She took me round to see the house, and I ended up shagging her in her new, unsued, matrimonial bed. Afterwards she kinda looked at me as if to say, Im not happy with this situation, get me out of it.

Needless to say, I got the hell outa dodge

Sex before marriage when you were a yout, wasn't that shunned heavily by society?

#Averageagejokes

 

[throdgrain]

Nob

 

[old.user4556]

I always knew you were a true lad Throd.

 

[Wij]

Sex before marriage when you were a yout, wasn't that shunned heavily by society?

Fortunately, back then, prior to the creation of the CofE, you could buy indulgences from the corrupt Catholic church to absolve you of sins. Throd still curses Martin Luther and Henry XIII to this day.

 

[throdgrain]

I always knew you were a true lad Throd.

You have no idea my son

 

[old.user4556]

Share some more shagger stories!

 

[Lamp]

I'd go fucking nuts if I had 95% of things in common with my missus.

qft

 

[Wij]

I'd go fucking nuts if I had 95% of things in common with my missus

Like bleeding out of your sex organ 1 week in 4.

 

[Lamp]

"Does my bum look big in this"?

"If you mean in the same way that cramming a water melon into a finger puppet, looks good, yes. Now get your fat arse out the way. I'm watching Top Gear. "

"No, you look lovely."

 

[Amphrax]

Second big step...

To stop me having the urge. I have now deleted all the phone numbers from all her family... Also deleted facebook app off my phone and deleted facebook bookmark off ofy computer. So now i have no contact at all...

 

[Bahumat]

Awesome

 

[Lamp]

Go & cheer yourself up. Get yourself with a bunch of mates and go see some live comedy. Clear the old cobwebs out.

 

[MYstIC G]

Second big step...

To stop me having the urge. I have now deleted all the phone numbers from all her family... Also deleted facebook app off my phone and deleted facebook bookmark off ofy computer. So now i have no contact at all...

You're doing the right thing fella. It'll feel bad now but will be worth it in the end. Hope you have a good day.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Oh i do hope the girl doesn't come back this weekend, after a reasonable 5 day think and apologize and all. Real hassle to redo everything.

Have you two even talked this over more then the one bedtime chat?

After three years?

 

[Scouse]

Toht. Spreader of doubt, giver of false hopes.

 

[old.Tohtori]

You're saying that it's not at all possible for relationships to have a small break?

Just saying that usually when grownups have problems, you work through them, or atleast try to work through them, not drop everything on the spot and burn everything the other person reminds you of.

3 years, and it's been less then a week.

 

[Scouse]

No, I'm going with what's vastly more likely than your "what if" scenario.

If it turns out to be a "small break" then she's got his phone number and will get in contact. Until that incredibly unlikely thing happens the absolute best course of action is for him to move on with his life, not hang about pining and in emotional turmoil for something that will probably never happen.

I think you're more interested in offering an "opposite" point of view to everyone else in this thread, girls included, than you are in thinking seriously about what's best for him...

 

[Amphrax]

I have not spoken to her since the break up.
All i know is that she just wants space to clear her head so she can think about if she is 'in love with me' or not... I am trying my hardest to think the worst but thats hard enough... I never thought this would affect me as much as it has...

Its best if i leave her to it and see what happens.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Scouse, Because kneejerk over-reactions are always good. And yes i am, not simply to do so, but because i don't think killing all contact and f*cking off to barbados to f*ck a nun on day 1 is the right thing to do if you care about the person at all.

This thread sounds like a bunch of people who would drop everything over first fight and just piss off.

You guys don't have to deal with it, you're just saying to drop and forget a three year relationship 'cause hey why not. Stop thinking black&white and start thinking.

 

[old.Osy]

My favourite ultimate head fuckery trick that some women pull is to actually break up with you and then contact you when they feel guilty and or lonely about it, they are doing this to ease their own guilt about the situation.

It has nothing to do with getting back to with you, they use you and your own current state of insecurity (due to being ditched) to heal themselves.

Get out of my head, that is spot on.

 

[old.Tohtori]

I have not spoken to her since the break up.
All i know is that she just wants space to clear her head so she can think about if she is 'in love with me' or not... I am trying my hardest to think the worst but thats hard enough... I never thought this would affect me as much as it has...

Its best if i leave her to it and see what happens.

Best of luck with it all, all i'm going to say on the matter as strangers arguing over it isn't really productive. If it's over then chin up and try to move on, if not then talk it over with her and don't just leave it as a "incident". Otherwise might be left lingering in the back of the mind.

 

[Bahumat]

I have not spoken to her since the break up.
All i know is that she just wants space to clear her head so she can think about if she is 'in love with me' or not... I am trying my hardest to think the worst but thats hard enough... I never thought this would affect me as much as it has...

Its best if i leave her to it and see what happens.

The same thing happened to me. To me, you should know if you're in love with someone if you've been with them for a reasonable amount of time. You should not have to take time apart and think about it lol. It's pretty black and white.
I think if someone can't tell if they are in love with you when they spend most days with you, they probably aren't.

 

[Scouse]

Scouse, Because kneejerk over-reactions are always good.

I'm not advocating a shagfest. I'm advocating a) giving her space and b) giving Amphrax space to move on.

It gives them both space. If something happens - i.e. she gets in touch - then there's something to think about. But you have to proceed as if that's not going to happen...

 

[old.Tohtori]

I'm not advocating a shagfest. I'm advocating a) giving her space and b) giving Amphrax space to move on.

It gives them both space. If something happens - i.e. she gets in touch - then there's something to think about. But you have to proceed as if that's not going to happen...

Then you're advocating the same thing i am(apart from moving on on such short notice), lost in translation and bygones. The rest, as you can clearly see, are not that lenient.

 

[Raven]

We. Were. On. A. Break.

 

[MYstIC G]

Toht, this isn't a thread that needs a devils advocate.