Shocked and didn't see this coming :(

[Cerb]

Wedneday - because im pretty much on my own and got no1 really to talk to aprt from her mum and nan.

This got to me more than anything else you've said mate. Whatever you do, DON'T talk to her mum and nan. Whether they agree with you or not it's getting back to her one way or another and it's just going to drive her further away.

I don't know you from adam bud, but I know what it's like to not have anyone to talk to.....if you need to, shoot me a PM and vent. No judgement.

 

[MYstIC G]

This got to me more than anything else you've said mate. Whatever you do, DON'T talk to her mum and nan. Whether they agree with you or not it's getting back to her one way or another and it's just going to drive her further away.

I don't know you from adam bud, but I know what it's like to not have anyone to talk to.....if you need to, shoot me a PM and vent. No judgement.

This, absolutely this.

This is never going to be easy Amphrax but nobody is going to look out for you other than... you. Everything will be difficult and it will take time and effort to adjust. If your brother has offered to let you stay with him then do that, if nothing more your brain will be pre-occupied adjusting to new surroundings.

 

[old.user4556]

Reading this mobile, will reply properly tonight but:

Nooooooooo, never attempt the friend / relative route, you just look clingy, weak and hideously desperate not to mention you'll piss her off by perceived begging and bargaining with those close to her in a vain attempt to get her back.

 

[caLLous]

+1 on not starting a dialogue with her relatives or friends about it. They might think the world of you but it's never going to end well. It can only push her further away, I would imagine she wouldn't be dead chuffed if she found out that you read her (what sounds like private) email to her friend about it, either.

 

[Scouse]

her relatives or friends

"Her" being the important word there.

They're going to be wanting to look after her. Not you. No matter how much you got on with them - you're now out of the picture. Leave them alone.

 

[Amphrax]

Thanks again for the comments. When in doubt you can certainly count on the forum people.

I just took my firstbig step and its really hurting

Deleted messages and her number of my phone and deactivated my fb accounts...

 

[Cerb]

Thanks again for the comments. When in doubt you can certainly count on the forum people.

I just took my firstbig step and its really hurting

Deleted messages and her number of my phone and deactivated my fb accounts...

Good lad. Chin up brother, you'll be a stronger man for this in the end.

 

[Edmond]

Thanks again for the comments. When in doubt you can certainly count on the forum people.

I just took my firstbig step and its really hurting

Deleted messages and her number of my phone and deactivated my fb accounts...

Its not gonna be easy mate, let it hurt cos thats part of getting over it. I know everyone is saying 'get out there and shag someone' but you probably dont feel like that really

There is no wrong or right way to get past the next few weeks/months, just do what you feel is best.

Problem is that everytime you feel like you want to talk to her or see her, thats like a reset button, and you just go back to the start of the mourning process, but as i say, do what you feel is right for you at this time, because everyone is going to give you their opinion of what they would do, doesnt mean its what you want.

Good luck fella, be strong

 

[Raven]

Is there anywhere you can go for a quick break? Somewhere out of town for a week or so.

 

[old.user4556]

Prague.

Tits.

Beer.

Cheap sex with Hungarian beauties.

Booked it, packed it, fucked off.

 

[Everz]

Lucky fucker. The sounds of a million lasses legs have just opened.

The girlfriend asked me before what would happen if we split up, I said within a few hours I'd be shagging someone else. Treat em mean, keep em keen.

That said I'd do love our lass and vice versa from her.

 

[Amphrax]

Is there anywhere you can go for a quick break? Somewhere out of town for a week or so.

I have my own company and work from home so taking time off work i cannot. Most of the days lately have been quiet and i havmt had much to do. But typical these past few days i have been quite busy with work and tbh i really cbs to do but i have to do it because im on my ow and i need the money

If i went somewhere i would need to take my work stuff with me... And that is a massive hasssle... I have a macintosh/laptop/laptop plus extras, so taking all that is must if i need to go anywhere.

 

[Cerb]

You don't necessarily need to go anywhere. Spending time with your friends is probably the best thing you can do. Send out the call and let them take your mind off things.

I'n my experience being around people dulls the pain the best.

 

[Mabs]

You don't necessarily need to go anywhere. Spending time with your friends is probably the best thing you can do. Send out the call and let them take your mind off things.

I'n my experience being around people dulls the pain the best.

and this is when you find out who your real friends are

 

[old.Tohtori]

Bit off-topic, but am i the only one who doesn't need a cure of some sort for break-ups? I've always accepted it and moved on pretty much straight away, which kind of makes all the stuff burning, vacations, need to shag some strange etc a bit over the top.(not wrong mind you, just a bit excessive from my POV). Hell, i'm best friends with my most prominent ex.

 

[DaGaffer]

"Her" being the important word there.

They're going to be wanting to look after her. Not you. No matter how much you got on with them - you're now out of the picture. Leave them alone.

Actually this isn't always the case, speaking from experience, but I digress.

You don't necessarily need to go anywhere. Spending time with your friends is probably the best thing you can do. Send out the call and let them take your mind off things.

I'n my experience being around people dulls the pain the best.

Best advice here.

I've only really been in Amphrax's situation once (as in his emotional state rather than a general split-up situation); unfortunately I think for most men once is enough and they develop a kind of emotional callous about it after that; I've certainly never been burned quite the same way again. Anyway, the thing that got me through it was my mates. I was 21 at the time and I pretty much went on the lash for about six months and was encouraged to get back into the saddle as quickly as possible. The interesting thing for me was that when it all happened I was actually living with the girl in question at her parents' house. Funny thing was, all the sympathy and attention was given to me. Still got away from there as quickly as I could though and once again my mates were there for me. I still get a Christmas card from her parents...

 

[mycenae]

Sorry this has happened to you Amphrax....irregardless of the whys, whens, hows and who is to blame, its never an easy or pleasant situation to find oneself in.
Personally (and I know I'm a woman and we think differently blah blah blah..) I would give yourself a bit of time to grieve and go through the process. I'm not saying that you won't find solace in the arms of another, and certainly spending time with mates and family does help, but I think its also important to take the time to acknowledge whats happened and deal with it. I'm not suggesting you mope about for weeks on end, but if you don't give yourself a little bit of downtime between relationships/women/shags, you tend to find you carry the baggage over to the next and thats not good for you or them.

Time is a great healer....I know its trite and everyone says it, but thats 'cos its true. As is the old adage...'its better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.'

 

[old.Tohtori]

'its better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.'

By the words of a great philosopher Agentius K; Try it.

 

[DaGaffer]

Time is a great healer....I know its trite and everyone says it, but thats 'cos its true. As is the old adage...'its better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.'

Ha. 'Course it is. An eternal truth, along with "Its OK I'll pull it out" and "the cheque's in the post".

 

[old.Tohtori]

Not to mention, never to have loved at all isn't that bad

 

[caLLous]

And you wonder why you're able to get over relationships so quickly...

 

[old.Tohtori]

And you wonder why you're able to get over relationships so quickly...

That's implying i have never loved, which would of course require someone to define love.

And no, video of jim carrey bobbing his head won't do

Funnily enough, in complete contrast to arguments had here, i get over things and accept things very fast. That's the main reason for not moping about relationships being over.

 

[cHodAX]

That is because you a coldhearted Finnish alcoholic jellybean murdering bastard! And those are just your good points!

 

[old.Tohtori]

That is because you a coldhearted Finnish alcoholic jellybean murdering bastard! And those are just your good points!

I object to that

It's jelly babies.

 

[cHodAX]

Child murderer!

 

[old.Tohtori]

I don't kill children!

I hold them in the basement to farm me gold in games like any other law abiding citizen.

 

[Amphrax]

Feel kinda better today. Still missing her like mad tho... I do know she is missing me too... Is that a good sign???

 

[old.user4556]

I miss my gran, doesn't mean I want to lick her flaps.

 

[Bahumat]

Feel kinda better today. Still missing her like mad tho... I do know she is missing me too... Is that a good sign???

Big G is correct. You may find she starts to contact you because she misses you...as a friend
I know we are all doom and gloom, but I figure it's just us lot 'playing the odds'.

 

[old.Tohtori]

I don't think Amphrax is implying that by missing her he wants to ram her backside like a steroid crazed breeding bull. You don't need to miss someone for that.