Shocked and didn't see this coming :(

Amphrax

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Well I never saw this coming :(

my other half and myself were talking about how we could save money.
we had a good long conversation about 30-1 hour long. Then... a few other things got said and the answers I was getting wasn't what I was expecting (not going into too much details because im pretty upset and my mind is pretty much fucked up again).

Cut a long story short... I went upstairs to have a lay down and she followed not long after and then it happened out of the blue... i asked her if she ok and she replied yeah im fine... i knew something was up and she kinda basically said she loved me, but... she wasn't 'in love with me'... im like wtf when did that happen and she said a couple weeks ago... (again not going into to much details)...

she basically said i need a break to sort my head out and i'll call you at 'some point, maybe'.

so now im in some kind of limbo... my head screwed up and I dont know what to do.

As I said before I never saw this coming... we have 95% in common and we get on fantastic, or atleast i thought we did...

-------------------------------------------------------

Say what you like etc...
 

old.user4556

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I'm sorry to hear it.

she kinda basically said she loved me, but... she wasn't 'in love with me'...

That's woman speak for "I do not love you, I do not want to be with you". There's a good chance she wants to fuck someone else.

so now im in some kind of limbo... my head screwed up and I dont know what to do.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but there is no limbo - you're on your own, and she's out of your life.

As I said before I never saw this coming

It happens this way a lot. Some people get to the day of their marriage and say "fuck this, I can't do it" after months of doubting it.

How old are you and how old is she?
 

Soazak

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Sorry to hear that bud :(

Pretty much what Big G said.. ^^


she basically said i need a break to sort my head out and i'll call you at 'some point, maybe'.

Oh, and when she does call, it will be because she wants something from you. Don't be that guy..
 

old.user4556

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I've thought about this more.

I dont know what to do.

My advice is to get back on the horse and move on asap. Easier said than done of course, but the sooner you start to heal and get over it, the better. It's ok to feel sad, it's okay to say "whyyyyyyyyyy?!" in your own head. Be thankful you got out now before you married her and she took you for half. Look on the bright side - new vaginas to touch and penetrate.

I absolutely guarantee you this 100% - there will come a day where you think "sheeeeeeeeeeeeeet, why did I even give a fuck?! why did I waste time being upset over that bitch!?".

we have 95% in common and we get on fantastic

That ain't enough, and it really doesn't matter what you have in common. In my opinion, as long as you're mostly on the same page in life and want the same things, then that's a major positive. It's perfectly ok to have vastly different interests to your other half - I'd go fucking nuts if I had 95% of things in common with my missus, that's the last thing I look for in a woman. Having your own life and your own identity is what makes a relationship work, the other person should add something to your already healthy existence.
 

old.user4556

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Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I forgot about that thread!
 

Gwadien

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I think we should get that money we chipped in for their anniversary present, and send Amphrax to Amsterdam for a week or 4.

Chin up lad :)
 

Edmond

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Dude that's so sad, so sorry to read this, but I think you should accept she wants to call it a day. They don't come to these decisions over night, she would have been planning it for a while.
 

soze

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Sorry to hear that, it is what happened with me and my Ex. Decided there was no lust or love anymore so i moved out, Still friendly as i still have to pay my share or the mortgage. But it did hurt at first all I could suggest is tell her you want to work at it if that's really how you feel but honestly if the love is gone then you don't want to be stuck in a relationship that is about convenience not love, that is how i know what happened to me was for the best.
 

old.user4556

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Convenient blowjobs - what's not to love about that?!
 

Access Denied

It was like that when I got here...
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Man that sucks. I agree with Big G here, women say that when they want to shag someone else and let you down gently. Go get a few rebound shags in matey!
 

old.user4556

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It's such an insulting thing to say as well, I'm surprised that she didn't add "I love you, I love you very very much. Like a brother" just to stamp on your neck good and proper.

I saw this on 9GAG last night regarding "women's reasons for a break up":

IMG_2411.jpg
 

Raven

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95% in common is fucking tedious, that's matching rain jacket territory.

Somethings in common is fine but you would soon get fed up of the site of each other if you spent every waking hour doing the same stuff together.

The soppy book probably didn't help tbh.

Unlucky though dude, don't for the love of Pete pester her though, give her some space to think about it and see what happens, if she isn't interested then mope around for a week or so and get on with life.
 

cHodAX

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Sorry to hear your bad news mate, have been in the exact same position twice and the second one almost destroyed me.

That said, alot of the comments above have merit, even if not put in the nicest of ways. When women do this it is always over unless you suddenly become the better option because of cash/comforts or the other bloke fucks her off after a fling. Either way you deserve far far better than to be treated like that.
 

fettoken

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Yeah really sorry to hear.

The reasons for this could be a few, but it doesnt matter really. There is nothing left to be said between you and her now. Remove her from your life in every way possible. Burn photos etc. Dont leave any sentiment. Dont let her contact you easily. Dont wait for anything.
 

Chilly

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I cant believe she said "I'll call you, maybe". Breaking up with you via shit lyric.

It's not limbo, it's over.
 

old.Tohtori

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My female friend went through the same thing really and her reasons were, in no particular order; the guy didn't listen, was content at the situation, things weren't going anywhere, he thought everything is fine and lived in that world without any notice towards her. Just saying that perhaps it wasn't such a out of the blue moment.

Or she's after anonydick, who knows who lies. Either way, since you obviously loved her very much(with all the over the top gifts), you probably won't get over it at all, but you'll move on. If you have the mental power to stay as friends, then by all means do so, but don't live any hopes of returning together.

Then again, you could let her think it over, since your post is riddled with kinda maybes.
 

CorNokZ

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Wow, I know that I might have come across harsh towards you Amph, but that is brutal! Wish you all the best mate. If she decides to treat you like that and suddenly drop a bomb like that, you're the one that deserves better!
 

opticle

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Sorry to hear it mate. :( As the others have said.

It's Ok to be sad, but your life does move on - no matter how horrible or empty it feels for a while, you just have to carry on and suddenly you'll realise you're Ok. World of possibilities ahead of you, and its all out there :)
 

PLightstar

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Sorry to hear that. Sounds bad, but whenever someone says that want a break, it is never good. Learnt that one the hard way. Will take time to move on and you will find someone who does love you as much as you love them.
 

old.Tohtori

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Sorry to hear that. Sounds bad, but whenever someone says that want a break, it is never good. Learnt that one the hard way. Will take time to move on and you will find someone who does love you as much as you love them.

Then again, lil bro and his current engaged took a solid years break and now been together for 10 years ;)
 

Amphrax

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Thanks for the harsh but fairs words it means alot that u guys deep down care even tho i caused problems in the past...

Thing is i know ... My gut feeling and she is the ONE... I am 200% confident that their is no other guy involved... I also know she does not want to break up with me deep down... I also know now that she needs time to work out in her head if she is 'in love with me'.

I for one have to atleast try fight for her and then and only then say... I atleast tried
 

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