old.user4556
Has a sexy sister. I am also a Bodhi wannabee.
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Ahhhh classic first stage denial as illustrated by the Kübler-Ross model. 
Shocked and didn't see this coming :(
- Thread starter Amphrax
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This. She might be the one for you but you are not the one for her.Ahhhh classic first stage denial as illustrated by the Kübler-Ross model.
Punishment
Resident Freddy
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Oh dear this could get messy
old.Tohtori
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I'm on the opposing camp towards the previous answers, things aren't that black&white and we don't know the situation. Nothing lost by giving her some time to think things over as this might just be a female magazine induced "you love him but are you IN love with him" temporary psychosis.
Remember that no matter what, you can ALWAYS hold this "thinking period" against her
Remember that no matter what, you can ALWAYS hold this "thinking period" against her
old.user4556
Has a sexy sister. I am also a Bodhi wannabee.
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old.Tohtori said:
REALLY? Tell me more about how you don't always take the opposing viewpoint.
old.user4556
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old.Tohtori said:
But seriously.
I agree they're not black and white, but sitting about convincing yourself that she's the one when she's fucked off elsewhere is not conducive to accepting it and moving on. I don't read anything about a solid set of reasons for the breakup (which leads me to believe its for something shallow...).
I could understand "waiting" for someone who maybe has the offer of a job on the other side of the country and wants to give it a shot for 6-12 months, or perhaps she's tired of his gambling habit and needs him to change before the relationship can continue. That doesn't appear to be the case - she's said she doesn't love him anymore, why fucking wait?! Wait for what? Why would you wait for someone that says "I don't love you". Seems like a lack of self respect and dignity.
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If that's the case the best way to get her back, and keep her, is to show her that you can move on.
She's likely to see her arse if you're seen out and about with other women. If that's the case she *may* come back grovelling - THEN you've a decision to make.
Right now she's given you the "fuck off" in no uncertain terms. If you can't accept it and move on then she's never going to respect you...
cHodAX
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No one can fault you for trying to make it work, I just hope it pans out and you don't end up getting badly hurt. Best of luck fella.
old.Tohtori
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I don't agree with your assesment that i don't always take the opposing view
Thing is, it's not " i don't love you" as she said that she loves him, it's the second cousin of that "not sure if IN love with you" and since it's been..what...two days...i think it's safe to say that giving it a bit more time before pissing off to get pissed to get pissed on by a pissed discob*tch is the thing to do. It's certainly not a "Oh? Well f*ck you i'm off" moment.
Yoni
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Jesus some of you are completely tainted..... Us bitches do not just leave you poor little lambs for a different cock.... I'm really sorry if ALL of you have experienced women that way.
There are so many reasons it is untrue, the most common is lack of communication, others can include not loving the reality of a relationship once those rose tinted specs come off, One thing I can say is that the decision to leave is rarely a sudden one, however one that is thought about sometimes for years in the hope that things will change. What us bitches are not good at is talking about problems early, or maybe we tried but our other half was too interested fucking over zombies, drinking or golfing or both with their male friends to listen.
A relationship takes two people working hard for it to succeed... Remember that and please self evaluate honestly...
As for this situation, she isn't going to come back, Deebs is correct. Don't waste your life waiting about move on she is not the one.
There are so many reasons it is untrue, the most common is lack of communication, others can include not loving the reality of a relationship once those rose tinted specs come off, One thing I can say is that the decision to leave is rarely a sudden one, however one that is thought about sometimes for years in the hope that things will change. What us bitches are not good at is talking about problems early, or maybe we tried but our other half was too interested fucking over zombies, drinking or golfing or both with their male friends to listen.
A relationship takes two people working hard for it to succeed... Remember that and please self evaluate honestly...
As for this situation, she isn't going to come back, Deebs is correct. Don't waste your life waiting about move on she is not the one.
old.Osy
No longer scrounging, still a bastard.
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Resident Oprah, slow down - you're so subjective my brain hurts. The way you built your case clearly shows that even though you typed "omg, us women never crave different cock and would never dump you just for that", at some point in time you did just that.
You emphasized _ALL_, which speaks volumes. Not all contributors were on the same side of the fence, hence ALL was unwarranted. But you knew it to be true inside, so your brain betrayed you.
*resident Freud, out.
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Sorry to say it Yoni - but I've never experienced a woman another way. Ever.
Neither have any of my mates that I'm aware of.
However, I agree with this 100%:
True. But IMO the woman waits about, burning your life up, until there's something better to move to.
Women rarely make themselves single unless they've something better in mind first.
old.user4556
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Yoni said:
Oh fucking please Yoni, stop making things about Man versus Woman. If this was a girl complaining about a guy, I'd have said pretty much exactly the same things. Men would have probably used different BS excuses, "it's not you, it's me" or "i'm too young to settle down", but my opinion of "fuck them, have self respect, heal and move on" would have remained the same.
I did wonder how long it would take you to whip out the feminist drum and pound it hard in this thread.
Punishment
Resident Freddy
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In the harsh light of day simple observations can seem that way, fact of life
old.user4556
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ECA said:
She turned it into Man v Woman.
Re Venom, I agree there's no venom. The guys upset, we've all been there, have dignity and say "fuck 'em".
Gwadien
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I'm sure Amphrax is clever enough not to take all of this advice on board, if I was in your shoes, ask her straight up, is there any future for us, or shall I stop chasing? - If she's a good person, and the person you loved, then she'll give you a frank honest answer.
Everyone is different, There's way too much past experience in this thread of individual cases of being treated like shit that you all might be painting a picture of Amphrax's missus that makes her look like a demon, and to be pretty honest, that's not fair, on her, or on Amphrax
Everyone is different, There's way too much past experience in this thread of individual cases of being treated like shit that you all might be painting a picture of Amphrax's missus that makes her look like a demon, and to be pretty honest, that's not fair, on her, or on Amphrax
Nate
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You got to move on Amp, if she's like this and you start trying to get her to love you again it won't work and you'll be in the same place in a few weeks, months or years time.
You can't let someone take advantage of you like that in a relationship, she's playing you for a fool with "i need a break to sort my head out and i'll call you at 'some point, maybe'."
That just isn't right, to lead someone on like that. You will try, you will want to change..but is it really you?
You can't let someone take advantage of you like that in a relationship, she's playing you for a fool with "i need a break to sort my head out and i'll call you at 'some point, maybe'."
That just isn't right, to lead someone on like that. You will try, you will want to change..but is it really you?
old.user4556
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I don't think she's a demon, I just don't understand why you would do this:
"im not in love with you anymore"
"ok cool, I'll just wait until you change your mind"
"k bye"
That's just me though.
"im not in love with you anymore"
"ok cool, I'll just wait until you change your mind"
"k bye"
That's just me though.
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Experience, Yoni. Experience.
And if the thread is "full" of venom - it's because the thread is full of men who's experience teaches them that women rarely cover themselves in glory when it comes to breaking up.
Edit: That also applies to when I've broken up fairly with women.
Im no angel (well, in my teens I wasn't) - but now my line is one of truthful, sincere (and sympathetic) honesty. E.g. "I'm sorry, but I think we should break up. I don't see the relationship working" Perhaps even as far as saying "I don't want to hurt you but I'm being honest - I don't love you and it won't work".
I've left to women screaming from the door, throwing stuff and sometimes having them come round to my house to scream outside, or mutilate my clothes. And this is from 3-week shag-partners to University-educated women in long-term relationships.
Me? I just walk away, or invite the ones outside my house for "a cup of tea and a chat" - saves on door paint.
I take it as read that "hell hath no fury like a woman spurned" - is literal truth.
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Yoni
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Big G said:
I was just portraying the an opposing view not something you chaps are qualified to do. Read back, there is venom and there was an unfair slant towards why women leave men. The first paragraph was pointed and a little general but I felt it was appropriate. The use of capital ALL was specifically directed at those who had assumed she had left for new Penis, not at the general population.
Big G you actually made the sexist stance in your first post re read it, I understand your motives but next time if you don't want me to oppose you don't generalise so much. You said yourself it they were a lass you would have said the same thing... Not sure a lad would have left for a new penis unless of course he was coming out of the closet
Scouse if it is the case then I really feel for you and your mates really I do
, not fun or pleasant.The only facts we know are what Amph has written here ie she has said she doesn't love him. In my view from any sex's view if that is how they feel it is over and it is time to move on and enjoy life.
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Scouse if it is the case then I really feel for you and your mates really I do
Not all women are as enlightened as you, Yonz...
Gwadien
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This forum should be actually renamed to the Derail House.
Gwadien
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AFHQETHQTEHEFDHGQAGHT ITS THE FRONT ROOM
Remember, Off-Topic was shut because it was too cool.
Bahumat
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"I know she does not want to break up with me deep down"...erm, she does otherwise she would not be doing all this. Sorry if that's hard to read. I am not trying to be nasty so please don't see this as an attack on you as I think you're awesome!
When you get the "I need time apart/a break" this is one of two things.
1) She's seeing someone else.
2) She loves you (like a brother/sister/best friend), but is not in love with you...which is pretty easy to understand. To roughly quote someone from The Game "if you hug your friend and say 'I love you man' that's fine, but if you hug your friend and say 'I'm in love with you man', that's a whole different thing".
Normally when you meet someone you have that 6 month honeymoon period where there's loads of passion and lust etc. After that you relax a bit and act more natural. You find some of their personality traits may rub you the wrong way and that's when you realise something's not right.
I know you say she is the one etc, but I bet if you wrote down all the things which bug you...she is too indecisive, moans a lot, is a bit too me me me, you will soon realise she wasn't the one...
Don't do what most people do and sit about waiting, or worse yet contact her. To me, the "i need a break" is her way of saying to herself "can I go on without you?". The answer is almost always Yes so please don't sit about over analysing the X she put at the end of a text message or the last conversation you had.
Bahumat
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Also I agree to an extent with Yoni. Sometimes you get lazy and don't act as you should. I don't mean "you dont compliment my shoes enough omg!", but more you take her for granted. Also some people are happy to just stay as they are in terms of the relationship, however some people want to have a plan...like, "where do I see myself in 5 years? I wanna house or baby" and they can't see their partner fulfilling that.
Ok that's a vague analogy but I hope it emphasises the point.
Ok that's a vague analogy but I hope it emphasises the point.
Shagrat
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Yeah but you dont just suddenly turn around and say "we need a break" if one party isnt happy with the way things are going, thats the sort of shit your supposed to talk about and come to some sort of compromise.
It's a tough one, but you'll look back on it with regret if you just sit there and wait for her to come calling when (if) she decides you are the one for her after all. Get on, live your life, and if she truly is the one for you then she'll come back into your life at some point.