Bad taste The Bad Taste Joke Thread

Discussion in 'The Front Room' started by gohan, Jan 16, 2010.

  1. BloodOmen

    BloodOmen I am a FH squatter

    What do you call a woman who pleasures herself with a vegetable? Mrs Hawking.

    Schrödinger's Pete Burns, is he Dead or Alive?
     
    • Informative Informative x 1
    • Facepalm Facepalm x 1
  2. Raven

    Raven Brrrrr!

    A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk.

    When the milkman read the note he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the point.

    The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 15 gallons or 1.5 gallons?"

    The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath."

    The milkman asked, "Pasteurized?"

    The blonde said, "No. Just up to my tits. I can splash it on my face
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
    • Facepalm Facepalm x 1
  3. CorNokZ

    CorNokZ Currently a stay at home dad

    Screenshot_2017-05-22-11-03-56.jpg
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
  4. TdC

    TdC Trem's hunky sex love muffin Staff member Moderator

    20170611_1544595943.jpg
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
  5. TdC

    TdC Trem's hunky sex love muffin Staff member Moderator

    lifebuzz-c1a5e082e66911268a6ff7c830c45f4d-limit_2000.gif
     
    • Funny Funny x 3
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Facepalm Facepalm x 1
  6. BloodOmen

    BloodOmen I am a FH squatter

    aQe4vbq_700b.jpg
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
  7. SilverHood

    SilverHood Resident Freddy

    Chester Bennington and Chris Cornell are now hanging in the afterlife.
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
    • Like Like x 1
  8. BloodOmen

    BloodOmen I am a FH squatter

    Fucking hell that didn't take you long.
     
  9. Bodhi

    Bodhi FH is my second home

    I had a really smarty dream about the blonde one from ABBA last night.

    I only woke up because his beard was tickling my balls.
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
  10. BloodOmen

    BloodOmen I am a FH squatter

    Linkin Park t-shirt for sale £10... Bit tight around the neck but hangs well
     
  11. Big G

    Big G Has a sexy sister. I am also a Bodhi wannabee.

    Give an old joke a home, eh?
     
  12. SilverHood

    SilverHood Resident Freddy

    It would appear that there's still a market for old rope
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
  13. BloodOmen

    BloodOmen I am a FH squatter

    Bruce Forsyth

    Strictly done dancing

    -----

    "Daddy, what's a Transvestite?"
    "Ask Mummy, he can tell you"

    -----

    I went to a fetish restaurant last night. I got toed in the hole.
     
  14. Lamp

    Lamp I am a FH squatter

    What do Muslim men do during foreplay? Tickle the goat under its chin.

    Did you hear about the winner of the Miss Middle East beauty contest? Nope, me neither.
     
  15. BloodOmen

    BloodOmen I am a FH squatter

    What's the difference between Cinderella and Princess Diana?

    Cinderella's carriage didn't turn into a brick wall at midnight

    - - - - -

    I said to the doctor, "I've had kleptomania for years now."
    He said, "Are you taking anything at the moment?"
    I said, "Yes, your wallet."

    - - - - -

    A blonde woman goes to the hospital. "What seems to be the problem?" asked the Doctor.
    "Something is terribly wrong, I keep finding postage stamps from Costa Rica in my vagina."
    The Doctor had a look, chuckled, and said, "Those aren't postage stamps my dear, they're the stickers off the bananas."
     
  16. BloodOmen

    BloodOmen I am a FH squatter

    What's Diane Abbott's favourite contraceptive?
    Her Face.

    - - - -

    Mohammed spent a lot of time up mountains, slaying goats and raping children, Jesus spent a lot of time around the docks and managed to feed the 5000 on fish. And that, people, is the difference between gross prophet and net prophet.

    - - - -

    What bounces and makes kids cry?
    My donation cheque to Children in Need.
     
  17. BloodOmen

    BloodOmen I am a FH squatter

    Why did Elon Musk choose SpaceX to land on the moon?

    Because if he chose SpaceY it would land on a 14 year old boy.
     
    • Funny Funny x 3
  18. BloodOmen

    BloodOmen I am a FH squatter

    Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey and Dustin Hoffman walk into an Irish themed pub in New York. The bartender says, "Oh no, not Yewtree again!"
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
  19. fettoken

    fettoken I am a FH squatter

    Oscar Pistorious was a decent bloke, he took the missus 'out' on valentines day!
     
  20. SilverHood

    SilverHood Resident Freddy

    I read this and then thought of your joke! Must get out more.
    Miss Iraq and Miss Israel selfie strikes a nerve
     
  21. Job

    Job TWAT and FH Object of Ridicule

    • Funny Funny x 1
  22. SilverHood

    SilverHood Resident Freddy

    We all knew Albert Einstein was a Genius. But his brother Frank was a monster.

    6.9 .... Sexy time interrupted by a period.
     
  23. fettoken

    fettoken I am a FH squatter

    Want to facepalm that with a dash of funny as well.
     
  24. CorNokZ

    CorNokZ Currently a stay at home dad

    His brother was a doctor, who created a monster? No?
     
  25. BloodOmen

    BloodOmen I am a FH squatter

    [​IMG]
     
    • Funny Funny x 5
  26. BloodOmen

    BloodOmen I am a FH squatter

    What's red and dangles from a cunt?

    The budget briefcase.
     
  27. Bodhi

    Bodhi FH is my second home

    I went to a feminist picnic the other day. It was great, apart from the fact no one made any sandwiches.
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
  28. CorNokZ

    CorNokZ Currently a stay at home dad

    A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.

    Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there’s a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers.

    Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there’s a large limo line at the rental office, but he’s patient and gets the job done.

    Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there’s no punchline.
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
    • Facepalm Facepalm x 1
  29. BloodOmen

    BloodOmen I am a FH squatter

    Police in Liverpool pulled over a local lad and were amazed to find the car taxed M.O.T. tested and insured. It wasn't stolen and there were no stolen goods or drugs found. The driver was sober AND He had a full licence and no points. A police spokesman said, "We had no option but to fine him £80 for wasting police time."
     
    • Funny Funny x 3
    • Like Like x 2
  30. Gwadien

    Gwadien Uneducated Northern Cretin

    [​IMG]
     
    • Like Like x 1

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