Bad taste The Bad Taste Joke Thread

[Gwadien]

Grandma don't give a fok.


View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZSEVCYF1Fw

 

[Gumbo]

What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?

Spoiler

I've never had a lentil on my face!

 

[BloodOmen]

 

[SilverHood]

Why can't Harry Potter tell the difference between his best mate and his cooking pot?
They're both cauldron.

Got a job as a church bell ringer. It's my first day so they're just showing me the ropes.

 

[Jupitus]

Why can't Harry Potter tell the difference between his best mate and his cooking pot?
They're both cauldron.

Got a job as a church bell ringer. It's my first day so they're just showing me the ropes.

 

[Bodhi]

 

[Moriath]

Thats going back a few years.

 

[TdC]

trufax from the life of el teed. when Philadelphia came out I made the immense mistake of taking a girl I (desperately wanted to bang) liked on a date to see it. movie was great, but no sex, having to console a crying girl for a large amount of the movie/evening and after that she saw me as a friend for the rest of middle school. fml. lesson learned: never take a date to a movie with teh feels. it's pewpewsplosions or gtfo.

 

[Wij]

trufax from the life of el teed. when Philadelphia came out I made the immense mistake of taking a girl I (desperately wanted to bang) liked on a date to see it. movie was great, but no sex, having to console a crying girl for a large amount of the movie/evening and after that she saw me as a friend for the rest of middle school. fml. lesson learned: never take a date to a movie with teh feels. it's pewpewsplosions or gtfo.

You became the probably-gay-friend.

 

[TdC]

I guess that's right. All because of that fucking Tom Hanks

 

[Raven]

fucking Tom Hanks

There's your problem.

 

[Edmond]

I remember when @russell and i went to see 'In Pursuit of Happyness' with Will Smith, she was a wreck and told me never to take her to sad films again...big wuss

 

[georgie]

I've turned mushy with two films recently "Inside Out" and "Me before You". Inside Out has had me bawling twice.

Hey! I'm just sensitive, fuck off!

 

[Edmond]

I teared up at the end of Rouge One

 

[georgie]

lol, sissy.

 

[Edmond]

lol, sissy.

Yep, and i'm not even joking

 

[Moriath]

Dont get affected by movies like that. Its just a story its not real ffs

 

[Edmond]

Dont get affected by movies like that. Its just a story its not real ffs

What do you mean not real ?!? you do realise Star Wars is a documentary.

Philistine

 

[Shagrat]

Dead Poets Society was that last film that really hit me like a hammer. That scene where they all stand on the tables as he is leaving, still gets me every time

 

[Wij]

I've turned mushy with two films recently "Inside Out" and "Me before You". Inside Out has had me bawling twice.

Hey! I'm just sensitive, fuck off!

I'm no weeper but BingBang and the girl finally being allowed to be sad were certainly moving moments. Toy Story 3 and Andy and bonnie playing with the toys is even more so though.

 

[dysfunction]

You had me at Movie

 

[georgie]

I'm no weeper but BingBang and the girl finally being allowed to be sad were certainly moving moments. Toy Story 3 and Andy and bonnie playing with the toys is even more so though.

Meh, felt nothing for BangBung but the other bit, yup, on two separate viewings. I don't think TS3 got to me at all either, or 'Up' which is another one people say gets them.

 

[BloodOmen]

Why did the girl drop her ice cream?

She got hit by a bus.

 

[SilverHood]

Did you hear about the poker player who lost his arm and got a prosthetic replacement? He's finding it hard to deal with.

Just called Seaworld for some tickets. They said my call would be recorded for training porpoises.

 

[CorNokZ]

After I became a father my emotions get the better of me. I'm a weeping mess at the end of Toy Story 3...

 

[BloodOmen]

I was shagging my neighbour over her kitchen table when we heard the front door opening.

Shit! That's my husband, she said "Quick try the back door."

I knew I should have got out of there but there's no way I was refusing an offer like that!

 

[SilverHood]

My wife left me today, said my gambling addiction ruined our relationship. All I can think about is how to win her back.

I asked my friend from North Korea what it was like to live there. He said he can't complain.

Did you hear about the scarecrow that won a lifetime achievement award? It was outstanding in its field.


Knock knock
Who's there?
Clickbait.
Clickbait who?

Spoiler

The Answer will surprise you!

 

[Bodhi]

After watching the trailer for the upcoming film, my six year old son asked me

"How does superman fly?

"Better than he rides a horse."

 

[Bodhi]

Where do suicide bombers go when they die?

Everywhere.

 

[SilverHood]

Where do suicide bombers go when they die?

Everywhere.

If you told that in a kebab shop, it would blow up in your face!