Bad taste The Bad Taste Joke Thread

[Lamp]

A woman who’s face lift was botched has been awarded £6 million compensation but she doesn’t look very happy about it.

 

[Ch3tan]

Stolen for FB, class

 

[old.user4556]

I thought i was tripping last night watching Britains Got Talent.

Thought i saw 4 microphones holding 4 microphones.

 

[georgie]

I don't get...

 

[Sparx]

Wasted on me too im afraid

 

[Billargh]

Was there 4 black kids with fluffy hair singing by any chance?

 

[kiliarien]

Better here than the spam thread:

 

[Lamp]

Hard to imagine Monika Lewinsky is 44. It wasn't all that long ago she was crawling around on her hands & knees putting everything in her mouth.

 

[Edmond]

How do you make a gay man fuck a woman?


Shit in her cnut


*courtesy of Jimmy Carr last night*

 

[Rulke]

How do you make a gay man fuck a woman?


Shit in her cnut


*courtesy of Jimmy Carr last night*

Was that at the end when he does the "most disgusting joke he knows"?

It's usually either that or:

"How do tell if a girl's too young for sex?

When you have to make the airplane noise to get your cock in her mouth"

 

[Edmond]

Was that at the end when he does the "most disgusting joke he knows"?

It's usually either that or:

"How do tell if a girl's too young for sex?

When you have to make the airplane noise to get your cock in her mouth"

Yep, very last one. Haa, liked the other one though

 

[Lamp]

A restaurant is in trouble for serving a ‘boob shaped cake’ with Happy 12th Birthday written on it in icing. At least I hope it was icing.

 

[GimmlyThe3rd]

How do you make a gay man fuck a woman?


Shit in her cnut


*courtesy of Jimmy Carr last night*

Was it some new stand up or a tv show?

Link, love JC, saw him Live once, fucking amazing.

 

[Lamp]

Why doesn’t the government set up a dept that makes plans in case of disasters. What's the worst that could happen?

 

[old.user4556]

I was in the car with my girlfriend the other night and things were getting hot and she said "fuck me in the shithole" i said "i'm not driving to Liverpool at this time of night"

 

[Fast]

I started a children's violin group, but nobody turned up. I guess calling it kiddie fiddlers was a bad idea.

 

[Lamp]

Sounds like a Stewart Francis gag

YouTube - ‪Stewart Francis on Family - Mock the Week - BBC Two‬‏

 

[Fast]

I was good at history...

 

[old.user4556]

Seeing David Haye wrapped in that silver blanket.

He looked like a half eaten chocolate bar

 

[Lazarus]

A bloke was stopped by police at 1 in the morning and asked where he was going at this time of night.

He says "To a lecture about alcohol abuse and effects on both a marriage and the human body".

Copper says "Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?"

Bloke says "The fucking wife!"

 

[Gumbo]

Yoko Ono is going to be on the next series of I'm a Celebrity.

Spoiler

She shouldn't find it too hard, she's been living off dead beatles for years!

 

[Madmaxx]

oh wow lol

 

[Lamp]

What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?

Acne doesn't come on a boy's face until he's 13

 

[GimmlyThe3rd]

Good but I heard that about MJ and a Priest in 2006/2006 atleast.

 

[Jimmy]

I'm David Beckham, and Harper 7 was my idea

 

[dysfunction]

Fake Adverts

 

[GimmlyThe3rd]

Elton john will be performing at amy winehouses funeral with a beautiful rendition of candle under the spoon

too soon?

 

[old.user4556]

Yep.

 

[- English -]

Wow, Amy Winehouse is dead.

Unfortunately, her parents can't keep her ashes as it would be possession of a Class A drug.

 

[Litmus]

Even Gavin from Autoglass couldn't help Amy with her crack problem. | Facebook