Stoke-on-Trent Earthquake Appeal

caLLous

I am a FH squatter
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Don't care if it's glen, it's new to me. :)


Earthquake Appeal.

Stoke-on-Trent Earthquake Appeal

An Earthquake measuring 5.7 on the Richter scale hit
Stoke-on-Trent last Wednesday morning. The epicentre was
Chell Heath and Fegg Hayes. Casualties were seen wandering
aimlessly saying "bang out of order" "mental" and "sorted".

The earthquake decimated the area causing in excess of
£17.55 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of
mementos from Ibiza, Corfu, Rhyll and Blackpool were damaged
beyond repair. Preserved areas of historic importance were
destroyed and cars burned out.

Many locals were woken before their Giro's had even arrived.

One resident, Kylie Sharon Smith, a 15 year old mother of
four said "It was such a f**ckin shock, little
Chardonnay-Destiny came running into my bedroom crying; my
hands were shaking that much I could hardly skin-up."

The British Red Cross has so far managed to send 4000
crates of Sunny Delight to the area to help with the crisis.
Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and
have found numerous "Elizabeth Duke" sovereign rings,
benefit books and Poundstretcher ornaments.

How can you help?

This appeal hopes to raise money for food and clothing
parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in the
disaster. Clothing is most sought after. Urgently needed are
Lacoste tracksuits, white socks, Burberry caps, Beanie hats
and Rockports. Food parcels are also needed. They include
McCain oven chips, Aldi Beans, Monster Munch and Iceland
pizza. Alcohol is also in short supply, especially White
Lightening Cider and Special Brew.

Cash donations are also needed. 22p buys a 'signing-on'
biro, £2.50 buys a Jumbo sausage dinner, £20.00 buys a
fake
MOT and £16.00 buys 200 Regal from the back of Tomo's
lorry.

Your help is appreciated.
 

Draylor

Part of the furniture
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Dec 23, 2003
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I laughed, but after a shitty Friday thats not difficult ;)
 

Ch3tan

I aer teh win!!
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Dec 22, 2003
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And whats great is, you can substitue any town in the UK for Stoke on Trent.
 

Nos

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Jan 14, 2004
Messages
258
People from Stoke don't really say 'mental' or 'sorted', that's more Manchester way.

The rest of it sounds spot on though :mad:
 

Bodhi

Once agreed with Scouse and a LibDem at same time
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Dec 22, 2003
Messages
8,746
This is clearly a windup. Earthquakes are far too interesting to happen in Stoke. They might damage all the fucking hateful cheese clubs.
 

Wij

I am a FH squatter
FH Subscriber
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TUG said:
int it just duck :eek:

wij = :wub: ;)
:wij:

There'll be Embattle posting next and that's just one step from Frankie tbh :/
 

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