SPAM random annoying things

Discussion in 'The Front Room' started by Lamp, Aug 2, 2011.

  1. Lamp

    Lamp It's my birthday today!

    be careful it doesn't turn your sperm into scrambled eggs!
     
  2. eksdee

    eksdee FH is my second home

    My solution is simpler and much more risk-free: don't wash.
     
  3. Gwadien

    Gwadien Uneducated Northern Cretin

    Scrambled eggs is fine, I don't like fried
     
  4. Billargh

    Billargh FH is my second home

    Meh, I don't want kids anyway :p
     
  5. Gwadien

    Gwadien Uneducated Northern Cretin

    You don't like kids? - why did you ask me out then? :S
     
  6. Billargh

    Billargh FH is my second home

    Cause I don't like to touch the sides :mad:
     
    • Like Like x 1
  7. Shagrat

    Shagrat I am a FH squatter

    rubbing deep heat on your legs before a football match, and then forgetting to wash your hands before going for a pee.

    worst


    pain


    ever



    boy did I run fast for the first 20 minutes of that game, felt like my entire twinky was on fire.
     
  8. Punishment

    Punishment Part of the furniture

    That shit get's inside the japs eye and it's eye watering stuff :(
     
  9. Lamp

    Lamp It's my birthday today!

    handling chillis then rub your eye...
     
  10. Sydrik

    Sydrik Resident Freddy

    Vanessa Phelps.

    She has been on Radio 2 all week in place of Jeremy Vine and she is a fucking vile, horrible, sanctimonious excuse for a human.

    There are plenty of other things that annoy me, but fucking hell I could happily shoot that woman.
     
  11. caLLous

    caLLous I am a FH squatter FH Subscriber

    VistaPrint. Again. The cards have showed up (two weeks late I might add) and they have printed them with all the crop marks. What is the point of a fucking crop mark if not to crop to the mark.

    Angry eyes.

    Im not impressed with the quality either, the card is nice but the logo is aliased and the blacks aren't really... black. And they're not even fucking straight. :eek:

    Anybody know a good alternative?
     
  12. Helme

    Helme Part of the furniture

    Buying shoes. Fuck it. I spent 2 hours wandering around in Uppsala today and the amount of women shoes I've seen...christ. I was lucky if the ratio was like 15:1, usually the men got a small corner in a huge store and the little they had there was size boat and up.

    I finally settled for some cheap pair of shit shoes, not even close to what I wanted but I had to replace my old ones and £15 is as much as I'm willing to pay for a stopgap.
     
  13. Lamp

    Lamp It's my birthday today!

    chuggers (charity muggers)
     
  14. Lamp

    Lamp It's my birthday today!

    Accountants. I emailed him a simple question, expecting a straightforward reply. He phones me up and talked non-stop for 15 minutes. So much for clarity, brevity & transparent advice...
     
  15. Zarjazz

    Zarjazz Unemployed Bum Travelling The World.

    .NET

    vB for forcing the above to lowercase if this text didn't follow.
     
  16. CorNokZ

    CorNokZ Currently a stay at home dad

    School shit I don't understand, yo..
     
  17. Lamp

    Lamp It's my birthday today!

    The nights drawing in. Getting dark earlier & earlier now. Damn, I love those long hot summer days...
     
  18. Big G

    Big G Has a sexy sister. I am also a Bodhi wannabee.

    My missus has been getting on my tits the past few days, really starting to get to me to the point i'm going to explode.

    She makes the most simple tasks so stupidly difficult. The conversation went thus:

    (sitting in a starbucks at 5pm).

    Me: "fancy some dinner? I'll buy"

    Her: "oOOoo!! Yeah !!"

    Me: "great lets go"

    Her: "oh ..... well ..... why don't we go for dinner tomorrow night?"

    -- INSERT A BIG FUCKING DUMB IDIOT SENSATION HERE --

    Me: "it's 5pm now and i'm hungry, it's dinner time, that's why I suggested we get dinner just there?"

    Her: "Ok, I just thought you'd prefer to go tomorrow"

    -- INSERT DAVID LYNCH STYLE 'WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE' SENSATION --

    Me: "Umm - baby, it's dinner time just now :) - that's why I'm asking you if you want to go just now :)"

    Her: "Why don't you want to go tomorrow?"

    Me: "Erm, I've got some things on I think, not sure; plus, it's dinner time just now so I'm asking if you fancy eating something now"

    Her: "What are you doing tomorrow?"

    Me: "I dunno, just stuff?"

    Her: "Why won't you tell me?"

    Me: "I think I'm catching Bob for a couple of pints and also to check out a live band - I'm really not fucking sure, why are you making this so hard?!"

    Her: "I was only asking"

    By this point, we're raising our voices at each other. I don't fucking get WOMEN, I was doing the honourable thing by offering to go for a nice meal because it was dinner time, then I was given the third degree about a completely illogical, hypothetical situation about the following night. Jesus fucking Christ, remind me never to ask a woman for dinner again.

    She then burst into tears.
     
  19. TdC

    TdC Trem's hunky sex love muffin Staff member Moderator

    that's just being a woman dude. forgive her by making go out to get you some take-away :)
     
    • Like Like x 1
  20. Big G

    Big G Has a sexy sister. I am also a Bodhi wannabee.

    Teeds, I'm absolutely raging; it was a simple yes / no answer. She used it as a vehicle to get all bent out of shape just to be a deliberately awkward bitch - arguing for the sake of arguing. Now, our whole night is a fucking mess and it's 100% her fault.
     
  21. Lamp

    Lamp It's my birthday today!

    icing on the cake

    aye, impossible creatures women. Thank the lord for nights out with the lads: some sanity in an otherwise unbearably feminine world of emotions, 2nd guessing, and prognostication
     
  22. Lamp

    Lamp It's my birthday today!

    not being able to get £5 notes from cash machines.
     
  23. TdC

    TdC Trem's hunky sex love muffin Staff member Moderator

    wait till you have calmed down, and then tell her gently that you didn't appreciate her being a whiny b*tch. tell her you're disappointed, because you expected more from a woman of her caliber. this way you compliment her twice, and reverse compliment her twice. gives them something to think about, eh :)
     
  24. Job

    Job TWAT and FH Object of Ridicule

    It's a disease, were on holiday and ordering food at the bar a bit late in a trendy pub, we decide what to eat and I'm freaking starving..then she asks, what time is last orders?
    So the guy looks at us a bit WTF and says 9,30, the place is filling up with drinkers and the waitresses are clearing up and the chef is talking to the barmaid..you get the picture.
    So she announces we'll come back to the bar at 9.30 to order.
    The guy is like..'er..ok, we both look at each other in that 'save us from frickin women look'
    She spots this and storms out, we don't talk for two days.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  25. dysfunction

    dysfunction FH is my second home

    I'm so glad my wife isnt like that!
    She is perfectly reasonable and doesnt do that annoying stuff to me.
     
  26. Calaen

    Calaen I am a massive cock who isn't firing atm!

    I feel your pain G, It can go from fine to massively shit in about 2 minutes.
     
  27. Aoami

    Aoami I am a FH squatter

    your club not signing anyone on deadline day
     
  28. gohan

    gohan FH is my second home

    It's ok you sold puncheon \0/
     
  29. Uncle Sick

    Uncle Sick One of Freddy's beloved

    Holy shit, you're one hell of a mind fucker. :D

    - and today's random thing that annoys me:
    other drivers trying to 'educate' me by deliberately fucking with me when I'm in a hurry.
    Sooo, you need to match the speed of the car in the right lane because you can tell I have to
    go places? -I- can tell because you keep smirking into your rear view mirror, you assfuck.
    I fucking hate people.
     
  30. pez

    pez Can't get enough of FH

    Sounds like you forgot that its some sort of special occasion 'tomorrow'
     

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