A question about the female of the species.

L

leggy

Guest
I don't have as bad a problem as tom but I met this absolute fox at the weekend. Out of my league, but into me for reasons only known to herself. If I had to describe her she's like a good looking version of lisa from hollyoaks only older. Actually Lisa doesn't have anything on this girl.

Well anyway after going back to hers after our date it has become apparent that she thinks the best way to kiss me is to lick my stomach lining via my mouth. Now this girl does it for me big time, but as soon as the probe comes out I am totally turned off.

So the question is:

"How do I subtly tell her not to whack the entire contents of her mouth down my throat?"

Keep the jokes to a minimum if poss. Unless they were like summo's last one which made me buckle :D
 
X

Xtro 2.0

Guest
Hmmm.

I've had a similarish problem with a girl, leggy.

She was 10 yrs younger (no I wasn't 18 at the time), very fit and a lot of fun but when she kissed she'd leave her eyes open but not stare at me just stare off into space. She'd move her mouth like a goldfish too, snap snap snap. Bah.

I never actually had to tell her. I'd kiss her how I wanted to be kissed if that makes any sense via text and gradually she'd slow down and relax more. After we'd been together a bit I did actually tell her about it and she laughed.

Hmmmmzzzzz as for you mate, if she's ramming her tongue down your throat rather than tell her I'd move your head/mouth back slightly so that soon she will take the hint when you keep doing it.
 
L

leggy

Guest
Originally posted by Xtro 2.0 I'd move your head/mouth back slightly so that soon she will take the hint when you keep doing it.
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This appears to be too subtle. I honestly tried this and after two nights she still hasn't taken the hint.

I'm on the verge of saying

"FFS LESS TONGUE NOW!"
 
B

BrassMonkey

Guest
'Do unto others as you would have done to you' ...or something like that anyway.

Consider it a challenge and see if you can stick yours down hers farther...see how she likes it.

and by 'hers' i'm referring to her mouth...filthy fuckers.
 
B

Bym

Guest
Just tell her!!! If I was doing something wrong, I'd definitely want to know about it, and not have it posted up on a public forum to have men give comments and tips on how to stop it! ;)

I dunno.....men!
 
J

Jonaldo

Guest
Originally posted by Bym
I dunno.....men!
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You don't know men? But then how did you end up... .nah :p I'll prolly just get a slap, or worse... a 'stfu' :)
 
X

Xtro 2.0

Guest
Doesn't always work Bym.

I once told my girlfriend that when we have sex I'd like to be in the same room as her.

She was shocked!
 
B

Bym

Guest
Lets face it. Hints aren't working. What else can he do? He can either tell her, or let her stick her huge tongue all the way down his throat. Lets hope she doesn't eat any cheesy wotsits, or go out on a drinking binge and not brush her furry tongue before he kisses her next time...

Erm, in your case, I think a little tact wouldn't have gone amiss :D
 
L

leggy

Guest
I actually feel like a bit of a twat posting that. She is a lovely girl and the only reason I mentioned is that I want to see her again. Oh well.
 
W

Will

Guest
Just try being tactful when you mention it, and you'll be fine.

If she throws a fit at that, then what would have happened when you had a discussion about anything else?
 
J

Jonny_Darko

Guest
I've just signed up to go speed dating in a couple of weeks. Will be a bit of a trial by fire, dealing with the fact that I'm a bag of nerves when meeting women by meeting meeting 30 in one evening...
 
D

Deadmanwalking

Guest
I think it's one of those lonely hearts night/ball thingies.

Loads of lone...ly people all stuffed into a room and told to meet each other.
 
O

old.D0LLySh33p

Guest
It can't be as dire as you make it out Deadmanwalking :)

Surely??? :(
 
L

leggy

Guest
lmao at "told to meet each other"

This is exactly what I imagine it to be like. Well put.

I am more confident now than I have ever been but i'm certain one of those bad boys would still reduce me to a wreck.
 
X

Xtro 2.0

Guest
Sounds like fun....

My idea of speed dating is a trip to the Damrak or Reeperbahn.

Guaranteed results and nil mingers - back of the net.
 
J

Jonny_Darko

Guest
Basically, you get 30 women, and sit them all at little tables. Give them a scorecard and a pen. Then you get 30 blokes, also with scorecard / pen, who rotate around the room and spend 3 mins with each lady. When you part, you tick yes / no and she does the same...

Then after the night, the company that runs it gives contact details to each of any pairs that ticked that they liked each other.

Apparently the average is that you'll have six people that you liked who also liked you, so you take it from there.

I believe it's quite a trendy thing to do and is mainly used by young professionals that don't have the time to go out and do it the more long-winded way (or hopeless losers like myself). I've seen it on tv and it looks like loads of fun, and full of the kind of women you'd actually want to meet as well.

I always hated all this bollocks - when I know a woman likes me I'm fine, but all this decoding body language and playing the game and flirting, and approaches in general, is what I'm so bad at.
 
J

Jonny_Darko

Guest
Also, anyone that watches Dead Ringers might have seen Tom Baker at Speed Dating, talking about Gallifrey and K-9 a lot...that was hilarious.
 
X

Xtro 2.0

Guest
Best of luck. I still think my method of walking up to a girl and telling her I'm a DJ with a 10 inch cock is better.
 
L

leggy

Guest
Originally posted by Xtro 2.0
Best of luck. I still think my method of walking up to a girl and telling her I'm a DJ with a 10 inch cock is better.
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Its hard to prove you're a DJ, but what happens when you pull the cock out and she thinks you want her to go fishing with it.
 
X

Xtro 2.0

Guest
The only problem I've had with that line is that girls will inevitably say "that isn't 10, its more like 11 inches!".

Busted.
 
O

old.D0LLySh33p

Guest
Originally posted by Xtro 2.0
The only problem I've had with that line is that girls will inevitably say "that isn't 10, its more like 11 inches!".

Busted.
Click to expand...

Hee hee.
 
M

mank

Guest
Originally posted by Bym
Just tell her!!! If I was doing something wrong, I'd definitely want to know about it, and not have it posted up on a public forum to have men give comments and tips on how to stop it! ;)

I dunno.....men!
Click to expand...

oi! get out of our thread, shoo! :eek:

I'd just mention it to her leggy, nice and softly and if she want to stay with you then she'll change. If she doesn't, then show her the door. Or something.

I won't give anymore advice on women, I promise.
 
M

Mellow-

Guest
I guess the thing with speed dating is to concentrate on the content of her answers. You can judge their looks in the first 3 seconds.

Concentrate on the conversation and pretend to be interested (in what she's saying) even if you aren't. That way you get loads of marks, and they get none. :)
 
J

Jonny_Darko

Guest
Ahh, balls. It's academic anyway. I didn't buy the tickets two days ago when I had the chance, went back online to buy them today and it's sold out.

Think they're every couple of weeks though, so hopefully next time.
 
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