The bf material thread

[Scouse]

Nate, be yourself. If that means making stupid lion tamer jokes then do so.

I kinda agree with that

 

[Gwadien]

Just use me as a reference Nate, you'll be fine.

 

[Nate]

Stupid lion tamer jokes, how very dare you.

Thanks everyone.

I'm using you guys as my buddy checkers, which is always handy as you can look a right dick without a bit of outside help. Gwad obviously is beyond help. But most people can use some.

 

[DaGaffer]

Pretending you're a snowboarder and exotic traveller is a bit of a cliché, so unless you really are those things, probably best to be avoided.

 

[Gwadien]

Stupid lion tamer jokes, how very dare you.

Thanks everyone.

I'm using you guys as my buddy checkers, which is always handy as you can look a right dick without a bit of outside help. Gwad obviously is beyond help. But most people can use some.

Your mum is beyond help

Pretending you're a snowboarder and exotic traveller is a bit of a cliché, so unless you really are those things, probably best to be avoided.

I agree with this, just because you went to Australia, doesn't mean you're fucking Ray Mears.

 

[Nate]

I didn't say I'm an exotic traveller "well travelled" can't be taken that way, surely? and "I've done some snowboarding" can't be taken as I'm a pro snowboarder

 

[Gwadien]

I didn't say I'm an exotic traveller "well travelled" can't be taken that way, surely? and "I've done some snowboarding" can't be taken as I'm a pro snowboarder

I think I'd say, I like to holiday to off-the-wall places such as Australia for long periods of time

 

[Nate]

If I wanted your input Gwadien I'd look in a used public toilet.

 

[old.Tohtori]

You should try this;

I grew up on a farm near a small town where my adoptive parents raised me. It sounds corny, but i was actually left as a baby. Some people eh? I don't mind, my parents did a good job and gave me everything i needed, especially my father who's not with us anymore. No worries, i've put it behind me. He taught me everything about being a good, and decent man and how my responsibilities should always come first. Sound advice. Usual childhood, not hugely popular in school, but i did try some football. I was really good at it too, but i did it for the wrong reasons. Had this one guy obsess about me for years after he almsot killed me with his car, i think he was a bit loopy in the head, born with a silverspoon in his mouth and only kid, so guess he felt responsible and somehow connected.

I did dabble in some highschool news stuff, which lead to my career in the big city even. I'm working at a rather large news company at the moment see, mostly reporting city news. It's fun, but i can't concentrate on it as much as i wanted to. Things just always seem to come in the way.

Relationship wise i haven't been that lucky, my work coming in the way of my lovelife, and i just ended a long relationship with my co-worker. That went on for a while, back and forth, this and that. She didn't seem to know who i really was and it's best that way, less chance of anyone getting hurt what with a close working relationship.

On my real parents, i did meet my real father and he did explain himself. It seems he thought it wasn't safe for me around them, their whole world was coming apart around them. I can understand it, even if it does make me hate him a bit. My real mother is gone though, but i saw some videos of her and she seemed really nice. My real dad wanted me to get into the family business, but i wanted to do it my own way. Weird though, still trying to prove myself to him, even if he's mostly just calling me and never really meeting in person. Oh well, enough of that, he did leave me this sweet cabin up north.

I like helping people any way i can also i travel aroud the world quite a bit. I do love flying, i know some hate it, but i've never found it to be a problem. Comes natural i guess.

On dislikes, bald men and the color green. No idea why, but it just makes me a bit sick.

Guess that's that, do get in touch if you feel like a chat, don't worry about just poking a bit, i'm quite bulletproof

 

[Yoni]

Sorry Nate but if I saw this I would think what a tard....

If you are seriously looking this just isn't the way... It just looks like a piss take and someone who isn't serious about wanting a relationship. Humour is great but not like this :/

 

[Nate]

I don't undestand, there's nothing funny in it anymore

I'm Currently working in Catering, it's a nice feeling to create something and see people enjoy it. Would like to do more travelling, the Trans-Siberian Railway looks exciting.

I'm adventurous, athletic and a pet owner. I like bike riding, running and I've done some snowboarding in New Zealand, would love to do more. I also walk my two Jugs, Naughty and Noodle they are lovely little dogs. I aspire to be a home owner with my own business eventually. I'm a happy person who enjoys making other people laugh and have a good time. Generally in the music I listen to I don't pay attention to the genre/politics/fashion, etc but instead if it's a good tune, I'll listen to it! One of my favourites is Kings of Leon.

 

[Gwadien]

I don't undestand, there's nothing funny in it anymore

Hello, I'm Dave, I'm a 20 something year old from Essex, currently working as a Butcher in Sainsburies, It's not the most idealistic job atm, but it brings home the bacon, I'd hopefully one day like to take this experience and turn it into something a lot more productive and satisfying, hopefully one day owning my own home and business, as for myself, I'm pretty athletic, do a bit of running, cycling, and some extreme sports if introduced and offered to me! *If a date happens, the snow boarding could come in as a could story* I also do a bit of dog walking with my beloved Jugs Naughty and Noodle, they're a fantastic pair. I'm not music mad, but I love a bit of a dance to some tunes!

Anyway, contact me, because I'll sex you up, in sessex.

 

[Gwadien]

Hello, I'm Dave, I'm a 20 something year old from Essex, currently working as a Butcher in Sainsburies, It's not the most idealistic job atm, but it brings home the bacon, I'd hopefully one day like to take this experience and turn it into something a lot more productive and satisfying, hopefully one day owning my own home and business, as for myself, I'm pretty athletic, do a bit of running, cycling, and some extreme sports if introduced and offered to me! *If a date happens, the snow boarding could come in as a could story* I also do a bit of dog walking with my beloved Jugs Naughty and Noodle, they're a fantastic pair. I'm not music mad, but I love a bit of a dance to some tunes!

Anyway, contact me, because I'll sex you up, in sessex.

Note how I made 2 amazing jokes, without actually making it obvious - that'll be the difference between getting an intelligent funny person rather than a mouth-breather

 

[Nate]

Wow Gwad that's great, amazing jokes. Really. You're not very nice and I don't like you and the sound of your piss hitting the urinal is feminine.

 

[Gwadien]

Wow Gwad that's great, amazing jokes. Really. You're not very nice and I don't like you and the sound of your piss hitting the urinal is feminine.

I thought it was a good fucking attempt.

Let's have a vote

Daves first attempt or mine?

 

[Nate]

I thought it was a good fucking attempt.

Let's have a vote

Daves first attempt or mine?

This thread is now for adults only, please go away and let me speak to your mother about your disgusting attitude.

 

[Gwadien]

This thread is now for adults only, please go away and let me speak to your mother about your disgusting attitude.

This thread isn't for your mum

 

[Nate]

I have gayed the shit out of it.

Being a male is matter of birth, being a man is a matter of age, but being a gentleman is a matter of choice.

I am hard working and live my life to the fullest. I laugh and smile a lot, I like to think my smile is contagious. I enjoy running and am not really keen on the idea of gyms. Why drive for miles and then run on the same spot? There is beauty in the country we live in, you just have to find it. I have two dogs Naughty and Noodle who I walk daily. I do agility with Noodle too, it's funny to see her doing such a big course as she's only little. I also volunteer with a local charity, it's a great feeling to help those less fortunate then ourselves. My main goal in life is to experience what the world offers and have a good time doing it, meeting amazing people along the way and finding out about different cultures. I'd like to do more travelling and am currently looking at the Trans-Siberian Railway.

 

[Gwadien]

I have gayed the shit out of it.

Read up to the 2nd sentence, no.

 

[Bahumat]

After the first two lines I thought it was a personal statement on a cv

 

[Wazzerphuk]

This thread is really fucking weird. The whole tone is so bizarre and schizophrenic.

Ambivilant.

 

[old.user4556]

It's a work of genius, I have copy and pasted it to a few people who can't access here from work!

My extremely brief internet dating trauma is amusement to all .

Seriously it amuses me greatly looking back .

 

[old.Tohtori]

I wonder if my superman post above was too subtle

 

[Scouse]

I wonder if my superman post above was too subtle

Lol, yes

 

[fettoken]

Toht, that is suprisingly well put together. Perfectly subtle, and a good measure of funny. Like it.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Toht, that is suprisingly well put together. Perfectly subtle, and a good measure of funny. Like it.

I'm trying to write another one, but this one is a bit tricky.

 

[Bahumat]

I realised it was superman but did not say anything as if he did use it (not that it was your intention), a woman would never get it lol

 

[Ch3tan]

I didn't say anything because it wasn't funny.

 

[old.Tohtori]

I didn't say anything because it wasn't funny.

Yeah but you're a grumpy old marvel fan

Not that DC is my fav either...

 

[itcheh]

Nate - you're trying too hard mate.

You should think of your dating profile like your CV ... it's there to create enough intrigue to get you in the door for an interview (date) ... not to try and tell them everything they need to know up front.

By all means inject some of your humour and personality, but remember that you're not auditioning a script for the Head of Comedy Programming at the BBC

Focus on the 'core message' - after reading your profile, what's the one thing you want the girls to remember? Try not to bury that information with all the other fluff. Less is more ... "if you say three things, you say nothing" as a wise man once wrote.

Think about why the girls should get in contact with you rather than all the other guys on the site? What makes you different (and better)?

P.s. Big G - best posts ever!