The bf material thread

[opticle]

Exactly what itcheh said. Don't try so hard - it comes across as fake and needy. Just be yourself, don't try to sell yourself so much because that comes across as desperate. Don't give it all away or you'll have nothing left to talk about.

Also, often as a guy you're the one that will have to do the approaching - don't expect women to come a-knocking. They're probably beating away the horny masses of lonely blokes.

 

[opticle]

Also, it says something that when I first read this thread, I thought it was a joke

What Yoni says is also wise.

 

[Bahumat]

Just upload a gif of you banging one out as fast as you can.

Then spell out "call me" with your gravy.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Just upload a gif of you banging one out as fast as you can.

Then spell out "call me" with your gravy.

Or add the text "I know a modern woman has sh*t to do."

 

[Nate]

How about

Some people would call me greedy..but I am all those things everyone lists at the start of their dating profiles and also I enjoy everything. There is nothing I don't enjoy!!!! I laugh and smile a lot and I like to think my smile is contagious. I enjoy running and am not really keen on the idea of gyms. Why drive for miles and then run on the same spot? I have two dogs, everyday we go for long walks. My main goals in life are to experience what the world offers and have a good time doing it, meeting amazing people along the way.

I'm looking for a woman who doesn't take life too seriously and has a good sense of humour.

 

[opticle]

I'd change at least the first two sentences. Still a bit contrived. Also too many "!'s" freak people out

Could you post some examples of others ads on here so we have a frame of reference for your peers/competitors?

 

[Nate]

Sure, in here

Spoiler

Ok - finally got round to writing this....

A massive music fan. Laid back, I like to enjoy life. Friends and those close to me are very important to me and love meeting up with said people.

I enjoy pretty much anything and will give most things a go once. I love intelligent conversation and good competition so you are gonna need to be able to keep up

Ibiza is my spiritual homeland. Fell in love with the Island on my first holiday and have been in love with it ever since.

I don't really know what to get from this site. Would just like to meet some new people and see what happens from there. If its meant to be its meant to be!

If my ramblings made any sense and you would like to know more then just say hello!....

Hi my name is Andy! im 30 iI just recently relocated to Suffolk from Berkshire for family reasons!
I'm here to find to chat and see what develops, im just over 6ft tall and have a average to big body type! if you like what you see just drop me a message
I enjoy going sailing and walking in the countryside

Hi my names Scott,

Im pretty outgoing and adventurous. Love anything with a bit of a challenge.
Im an officer in the Navy so i do go away to sea quite alot (usually month on month off). Being in the Navy has given me the opportunity to travel the world, any country with sea surrounding it and i've been there haha !! This comes in quite handy when planning holidays
I like to stay active so i go gym a couple times a week, and im a big watersports fan, scuba diving, jetskiing, surfing etc.
Im out pretty much every weekend, love clubbing and socializing with me mates.
Love the Ibiza scene so im very much into my house and dance music.
Im also a bit of a petrolhead, anything with an engine thats loud and goes fast haha
West Ham United ...... speaks for itself lol !!

I am a very laidback person who just takes life for what it is, I have many interests including most sports, travel (which i need to do more!) and going out with the lads however im looking for someone to have fun with! I am an ex-rugby player so you must good with banter and be able to handle your drink!! I strive to be happy in life and make others around me just as happy! I believe in being myself at all times, this may be taken as good or bad..!

Feel free to message me if you would like to know more!!

Don't really no what I'm looking for maybe I'll find out well feel free to message me for a drink done I av binhgxdyg gccuhv hfghgf ggdtfvh hgftbghff gffgnkigftcgju hvfy gjchjgvjtfg hhfddtc b hb. H hgffdavhhjv hhcb hgdyvcghbhkhgk ki sewtvrtdfrtu uf

 

[old.Tohtori]

"Ibiza is my spiritual homeland." i do believe the competition quality isn't TOO high.

 

[cHodAX]

Scott sounds like a twatbag!

 

[Nate]

I really like the effort the last one has put in he didn't type enough so had to headsmash the keyboard to finish.

 

[Bahumat]

Ok this bit is a big no no.
"I enjoy running and am not really keen on the idea of gyms. Why drive for miles and then run on the same spot? "

I agree with you, but it makes you sound arsey. You don't want negativity in your profile.

 

[old.Tohtori]

"All the people on these sites are a masssive waste of space, should just go out and meet people and not hide behind a monitor with platitudes and generic comments about how you work out and are excellent at vajazzling. Why don't you do the world a favor and stop using the internet, and the front door, and leave reproduction possibilities to people who deserve to be around other people.

Oh and in case you're interested to grab a coffee, throw me a line "

Should work wonders.

 

[Nate]

You're verging on the usefulness of Gwadien right now Toht!

 

[old.Tohtori]

There's a difference in not being useful and not being helpful

Fine, here's some advice;

The words don't matter. Write what you think is important, write like you write, don't revise and pop it in there. You're not going to score a hottie with a rack made of jelly babies with a nicely parsed sentence

 

[Bahumat]

OMG check out this guy!

"I have a natural dislike to scousers, but I find they bring out the best in me when it comes to discussions. I have long finger nails and I love to batter seals. People sometimes call me a troll, but I think this is because of my build."

Spoiler

Yes this is weak, but you read it whilst I ate your dogs

 

[Scouse]

Ok this bit is a big no no.
"I enjoy running and am not really keen on the idea of gyms. Why drive for miles and then run on the same spot? "

I agree with you, but it makes you sound arsey. You don't want negativity in your profile.

Disagree - makes you sound like the sort of person who hates gyms. If I saw that in a bird's profile that would appeal to me.

Gyms are horrid places full of really, really dull people. Get outside into the real world and do some exercise that takes you places

 

[Nate]

Wanna go on a date scouse?

 

[Scouse]

Wanna go on a date scouse?

Not really. Can't we just skip to the hard fucking?

 

[opticle]

I love gyms

All those guys sound like twatbags. The quality of your writing is far better than their's, just tone down the content a bit so you don't sound too "try hard" or "trying to impress" - just be yourself and it'll be alright

 

[cHodAX]

Not really. Can't we just skip to the hard fucking?

A good dry bumming will sort both of you out!

 

[Scouse]

*fears cHodAX's eagerness*

 

[cHodAX]

I am all about the pink and not the stink, your chocolate starfish can declamp now.

 

[old.Tohtori]

With all the "joy" Scouse has had from our "discussions" i'm betting his clenching has turned his lovehole quite pink.

 

[cHodAX]

You won't talk me into it Toht, his cornhole is a no-go zone!

 

[Wazzerphuk]

Take the anti gym sentiments out. Are you trying to dissuade tight, toned hotties?

 

[Scouse]

Take the anti gym sentiments out. Are you trying to dissuade tight, toned hotties?

Like the only place you get a tight, toned hottie is in the gym.

You get a tight, toned, personality-less hottie from there. You want to go out with some extreme-sports bird instead. Someone who goes mountain-climbing and white-water canoeing every other weekend and keeps trim on her bike during the week

 

[old.Tohtori]

I don't think activities define a person that much(not taking extremes into it).

 

[itcheh]

The competition all seems fairly easy going and not sure what they are after ... this is good news.

1. It means you can differentiate yourself by expressing exactly what you DO want
2. They all sound like flakes - probably fishing for easy sex

PEOPLE are drawn to other people who know what they want and are confident.
Stop talking about yourself (me, me, me) ... start stating what you want (are you a good match FOR ME?)
You need to consider yourself the prize ... they are the ones who should try to attract YOUR attention
SO THIS SORT OF THING:

• I want to meet someone special and not just a quick fling
• I want to find a person who's happy to join me on long walks with the dogs
• I'm looking for someone to be by my side while we both experience what the world offers

NOT STUFF LIKE THIS:

• "I like to think my smile is contagious" ...

... it means nothing. I like to think I have the body of an Adonis, but everyone else thinks I'm a fat bastard etc.

 

[Bahumat]

I like to think and stuff!

 

[Bahumat]

I fink ov stuff innit!