T.L.S.I.T.W.O.T.W. (B.S.) volume 2!

[DAN200]

...more than expected when the machine fell over squashing Ford, "Damm" muttered tdc, "looks like its just me now"...

 

[Testin da Cable]

...and heaving mightly, he managed to almost push the machine off Ford, leaving just a corner of it balanced rather inconveniently on Ford's scrot.
Aided by the screams of pain suddenly emitting from the apparently lifeless body, TdC came to the unfortunate conclusion that Ford was still alive, tho rapidly receding at that very moment. Tipping the coffeemachine over onto it's side...

 

[Summo]

... he noticed a shiny new penny...

 

[Sir Frizz]

..., picked it up and placed it on his eye pretending to be a pirate, but he didnt have a sword or a parrot to be a REAL pirate so instead...

 

[Stazbumpa]

...he cackled "ha haaaaaa Jim lad" in an unconvincing way. This annoyed...

 

[old.SLiC3R]

.. his mum and she ended up masterbating over her...

 

[bodhi]

... then said "fuck off slicer you cuntspack".....

 

[DAN200]

...as pirates do, Anyway, more pressing matters were at hand and fords life was at stake, tdc then...

 

[PR.]

...felt very hungry and scoffed the old ruski pizza. Feeling thirsty to wash down the pizza he grabbed a plastic cup from the coffee dispenser and placed it under the tap on the machine and pressed, nothing happened TdC repeated until finally the tap dispensed

"Argh, nothing but capachino" :/ said TdC in a disgusted voice

Ford finally pulled himself out from under the coffee machine

"What F**k you doing?!" said Ford

"I'm just having a capachino, OK?" replied TdC downing the last of the capachino leaving nothing but a foam around his top lip

"TdC, the machine aint even plumbed in!"

"Then wer'd this Capa... capa.... OMFG! uke: "

"I was gonna say something but that was soo funny" said a new character walking from behind a crate

"Who the hell are you?" said TdC and ford

"I am.....

 

[Sir Frizz]

...the one, the only...

 

[Stazbumpa]

"...and there's nobody I'd rather be". "You still listen to Chesney Hawkes you sad man?" came the response...

 

[old.SLiC3R]

...from bodhi the beared cuntheaded spasm. He then licked slicers ass for slicer, is superior to bodhi. bodhi then died but not to leave this shiity world b4 saying...

 

[old.TUG]

..."slicer is a batty scatman cunt!"...

 

[Testin da Cable]

...suddenly a voice thundered from the heavens:
"KEEP YOUR SNIPING OUT OF THE STORY THREAD FS PLS THX BYE"


Opening the coffeemachine, Ford found...

 

[Sir Frizz]

...that there was none in there, but it was actually filled with shite left there from all the rats that invaded it from time to time, ford thought to himself that the best COA was to...

 

[Stazbumpa]

..have a beer instead...

 

[Testin da Cable]

...but, as the group was standing next to an overturned coffee vending machine, in the Mir cargohold, floating somewhere inside a text based adventure that had somehow leaked into the glitch dimention the chance of getting a half-decent brew was about...

 

[Wij]

...fair to middling.

"Oh excellent !", cried Arthur, spotting some cans of b33r on the floor.

"I wouldn't do that.", grumbled Marvin, "you won't like it."

"Oh just can it tin-can sulky can-bashing... can !", sniped Arthur, whose attempts at wit failed him.

He took a big sip from the ice cold can then smiled smugly at Marvin. Suddenly his face screwed up into the look of a bulldog licking piss off a nettle.

"It's Carling !!!", he cried in horror.

Ford realised that something was amiss and asked TdC to...

 

[Nibbler]

...take down his...

 

[Stazbumpa]

...poster of...

 

[PR.]

... Anne Widicomb, who on more than one occasion had been the recipient of TDC's....

 

[Summo]

... TdC's airborne man-juice. Pausing to reflect, he...

 

[Stazbumpa]

...was violently ill at the thought, and...

 

[Sir Frizz]

...had to be rushed off to the nearest hospital, of which the head doctor there was a crazed wij who...

 

[DAN200]

...grabbed the nearest fork and...

 

[PR.]

and stabbed it repeatedly into his "P13"

"Damn this NHS Food stinks" he muttered...

 

[DAN200]

...before gobbling down a random jar of pills from the shelf, these later turned out to be...

 

[PR.]

... a jar of laxatives, which played havoc with his...

 

[DAN200]

...digestive sytem, resulting in...

 

[Stazbumpa]

...a very bad smell...