SPAM random annoying things

[TdC]

accidentally locking my work phone sim out of helpdesk hours

 

[CorNokZ]

My colleague's insanely loud sinking when he drinks water..

*GLUUUUG!!!! GLUUUUG!!!*

"DID YOU HEAR ME, CORN!? I'M DRINKING A FUCKING GLASS OF WATER RIGHT ACROSS FROM YOU!!!"

*GLUUUUUUUG MOTHERFUCKER!!!!*

 

[TdC]

My colleague's insanely loud sinking when he drinks water..

*GLUUUUG!!!! GLUUUUG!!!*

"DID YOU HEAR ME, CORN!? I'M DRINKING A FUCKING GLASS OF WATER RIGHT ACROSS FROM YOU!!!"

*GLUUUUUUUG MOTHERFUCKER!!!!*

Funnily enough, I drink alot of water and my colleagues hate me doing it. They claim (Dutchism) I drink water "greedily". In my defence they burp and fart openly but heyoo better out than in

 

[CorNokZ]

My colleague's insanely loud sinking when he drinks water..

*GLUUUUG!!!! GLUUUUG!!!*

"DID YOU HEAR ME, CORN!? I'M DRINKING A FUCKING GLASS OF WATER RIGHT ACROSS FROM YOU!!!"

*GLUUUUUUUG MOTHERFUCKER!!!!*

I confronted him today and asked if he could glug a little quieter. He can't. Not after he had his operation, curing him for pancreatic cancer.

Now I just seem like the douche bag that I really am

 

[Ormorof]

Join him in his glugery

 

[Scouse]

How does an operation in your abdomen affect your mouth and throat?

 

[old.user4556]

How does an operation in your abdomen affect your mouth and throat?

My missus' dad was recently diagnosed with a non-cancerous nodule on his pancreous, part of the symptoms (amongst others) were vomiting and issues with swallowing *shrug*. Perhaps associated nerves?

 

[Raven]

Having to eat and drink through a tube for a week fucks you up.

I had to do it for a couple of days and felt like I had deep throated a horse for a couple of weeks afterwards.

 

[old.user4556]

Having to eat and drink through a tube for a week fucks you up.

I had to do it for a couple of days and felt like I had deep throated a horse for a couple of weeks afterwards.

Aye the camera / ultrasound tube down his throat wrecked his voice for weeks and gave him all sorts of pain. Horribly invasive.

 

[Raven]

Shop opening times on a Sunday. I want to get out and done so I can do something I want today. Fucking 10am my arse.

 

[DaGaffer]

Shop opening times on a Sunday. I want to get out and done so I can do something I want today. Fucking 10am my arse.

11AM here. And I always forget.

 

[old.user4556]

God's day of rest you pair of gender-neutral anatomical insults.

 

[DaGaffer]

God's day of rest you pair of gender-neutral anatomical insults.

He gets Saturday off for the Jews and Muslims and Sunday for the Jesus freaks. Slacker.

 

[old.user4556]

One shot sniper hackers on BF1 are ruining my happiness. It's so obvious as well, either immediate spawn / headshot combo from miles away, or appear from behind a window / wall, or sand dune and get killed as soon as you're in the line of sight of the person.


View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=se1qi6-UI00

 

[Moriath]

How can it be fun to play like that.

 

[old.user4556]

How can it be fun to play like that.

The worst part is that the aimbots sometimes miss (as you can see), and the clever hackers are using them insidiously so not to be caught out. It's safe to assume that you're now more likely to encounter them on a server, than not. You'll never know unless they're like the guy in the vid. The number of Fairfight (DICE's shit anti-cheat) alerts for people getting globally banned is alarming.

 

[CorNokZ]

How does an operation in your abdomen affect your mouth and throat?

I might have mistranslated something, because he had the operation in his throat

 

[Raven]

Fucked gears on my bike, cant get the last set of 3 meaning no matter how fast i peddle its not getting any faster and I look like a typical cyclist, peddling furiously yet going nowhere.

 

[Scouse]

Fucked gears on my bike, cant get the last set of 3 meaning no matter how fast i peddle its not getting any faster and I look like a typical cyclist, peddling furiously yet going nowhere.

Take it to your LBS. They'll sort it on the cheap.

 

[Raven]

Pretty tempted to just throw the bloody thing away and buy something new, I will give it a few weeks but so far the wheels, brakes and gears have given me hassle and I have barely started.

Trouble is its like an old car, I have spent a decent amount getting it back in (near-to) working order and it feels like a waste if I get rid.

 

[Job]

I'm a bit concerned about birds...yesterday morning 5 seagulls were giving it large and one of the fuckers swooped down on me in the street, the noise was unbelievable.
So I'm running across the fields last night and a about 5000 screeching starlings started doing that thing they do about 20ft above my head, it was awesome and frickin terrifying as well.
I actually ran back to the car!

 

[Scouse]

They're birds @Job. Not lions.

I don't understand anyone who's the remotest bit scared of our avian cousins.

 

[Raven]

Seagulls can be horrible, aggressive, territorial bastards and are surprisingly large up close.

Starlings...not so much.

 

[Job]

Fuck that..I was in the middle of a field and they were swooping down, the noise, the whooshing sound, it was pretty epic, it just kinda felt they had picked me out...after the Seagull in the morning, it was all getting a bit The Birds.

 

[old.user4556]

Racist sandwiches.

 

[Moriath]

I'm a bit concerned about birds...yesterday morning 5 seagulls were giving it large and one of the fuckers swooped down on me in the street, the noise was unbelievable.
So I'm running across the fields last night and a about 5000 screeching starlings started doing that thing they do about 20ft above my head, it was awesome and frickin terrifying as well.
I actually ran back to the car!

Murmuration.

 

[Job]

Yup...also high risk factor for bird shit strike.

 

[CorNokZ]

If I had 2,000 birds above me I'd be quick to fuck off as well. I get shat on enough at work

 

[Bodhi]

Two for today:

1) Shop assistants who ask you what you are looking for, then spend their time trying to sell you something else. In American Golf at lunchtime looking for a new glove, picked up a a Titleist one, clearly knowing what I was after - shop assistant comes over, and asks if I've ever tried some random Callaway one that happened to be on offer. Tried it on, instantly saw why it was on offer (it was like a gardening mitt), took the original one I wanted to the counter.

2) People who, when presented with a bank of 3 urinals, decide to piss in the middle one, meaning the next person has to stand right next to them and listen to them grunt groan and piss on their shoes. Use the end one you dirty pervert.

 

[Moriath]

Two for today:

1) Shop assistants who ask you what you are looking for, then spend their time trying to sell you something else. In American Golf at lunchtime looking for a new glove, picked up a a Titleist one, clearly knowing what I was after - shop assistant comes over, and asks if I've ever tried some random Callaway one that happened to be on offer. Tried it on, instantly saw why it was on offer (it was like a gardening mitt), took the original one I wanted to the counter.

2) People who, when presented with a bank of 3 urinals, decide to piss in the middle one, meaning the next person has to stand right next to them and listen to them grunt groan and piss on their shoes. Use the end one you dirty pervert.

2. It is funny giving the next person in the room the dilema of going to your side or using the stall.