SPAM random annoying things

[old.Tohtori]

Man up and just think of your birthday as a friday you girl

 

[Roo Stercogburn]

Happy birthday Punishment. Have a great day at work and don't forget to shit in the boss's coffee

 

[Bahumat]

Why are all beauticians blind? Is it a prerequisite of the job?

They're not blind, you're just f'ugly hence why they don't bother looking your way

/hug

 

[Bahumat]

Happy birthday punishment.

 

[sayward]

They're not blind, you're just f'ugly hence why they don't bother looking your way

/hug

Not exactly what i had in mind. Think waxing.

 

[sayward]

P.s. No I am not! Even if I do say so myself! A good job or you'd've just wrecked my confidence!

 

[Lamp]

Traffic in the West End today

 

[Cerb]

Trying to get something out of your pocket while sitting down.

 

[Zarjazz]

Trying to get something out of your pocket while sitting down in a restaurant and elbowing the person sat next to you.

 

[Wazzerphuk]

It works well on public transport. Someone is impeding on your area? Time for an exaggerated pocket fetch with angular elbow!

 

[Raven]

erg. public transport. I have to use the train in a couple of weeks, dreading it.

 

[Wazzerphuk]

Try commuting into London from the suburbs every day. It's so rage inducing.

 

[Lamp]

Stand up, get item from pocket, sit back down

or better still

stand up, grab penis thru jeans, and shout "This is my rifle. There are many others but this one is mine....". Watch the compartment empty.

 

[sayward]

Smile at everyone that should do it.

 

[Lamp]

Bah! Took ages D/Ling a fullHD version of Fulp Piction only to find a quarter of the screen covered by wierd pink lines. Damn you illegal copies!

 

[Raven]

The weather. Bored of rain now.

 

[Overdriven]

Ants. Blitzed my room like 4 times this week and they're appearing from nowhere. Just hoovered again and I have no idea where the hell they're hiding. I'm just going to keep my hoover in my room... OR:

Plant some food in the middle of the room, then light the bastards on fire when there are hordes of them.

 

[old.user4556]

Work colleagues who ask you to ask someone else a question:

"Hi, do you know how to X Y Z?"

"Nah, you need to speak to Joe Plumber for that one"

"Can you drop them an email and ask?"

DO IT YOUR-FUCKING-SELF. It's your bloody question, not mine!

 

[Raven]

The last hour on a Friday.

Fucks sake it drags.

 

[Raven]

Still being hungover at quarter to five

 

[Job]

The ability of small screws to bounce, once I dropped one on a tiled kitchen flloor and it made it 12 feet into another room!

 

[Edmond]

Ants. Blitzed my room like 4 times this week and they're appearing from nowhere. Just hoovered again and I have no idea where the hell they're hiding. I'm just going to keep my hoover in my room... OR:

Plant some food in the middle of the room, then light the bastards on fire when there are hordes of them.

They're hiding in your hoover

 

[Lamp]

Watching a TV nature type show with ppl eating venison on a bbq grill in the middle of the pissing rain in the Scotish Highlands and drooling over the carpet wishing I had a juicy moist succulent peppered venison sandwich right now.

(If you want to know how tasty it looked, it measured 50,000 megaslobbers on the drool-o-meter)

 

[Ormorof]

Watching a TV nature type show with ppl eating venison on a bbq grill in the middle of the pissing rain in the Scotish Highlands and drooling over the carpet wishing I had a juicy moist succulent peppered venison sandwich right now.

(If you want to know how tasty it looked, it measured 50,000 megaslobbers on the drool-o-meter)

i remember watching a show like that (but it was a pig, ray mears was cooking it i think) and my housemate was cooking roast pork in the kitchen, it was like smell-o-vision

 

[Punishment]

No decent Golf GTI's on Irish websites, all i want is a 2008 one with dsg/black leather/highline display and xenons /sobs

 

[Billargh]

Commentators on Fifa 12. Lose a match, "Well they really didn't deserve to win that". OH REALLY?! 15 shots on target without one going in, compared to one shot on target from the other that, obviously flies in. Fuck off Martin Tyler and Alan Smith.

 

[Punishment]

I hope they have Gary Neville commentating in the 2013 one

 

[Ormorof]

getting sunburnt face... and ears...it HURTs

 

[BloodOmen]

Listening to a group of middle age scouse blokes trying to sing (pet hate) basically story is went on a job down Liverpool one day to change some large doors on a factory, we were there for about 8-9 hours and had to listen to a group of scousers singing Spiller - Groovejet (this was years ago baring in mind - video link below for those that havent heard the song)

 

[old.user4556]

Chair kickers in the cinema.