SPAM random annoying things

[Scouse]

Going back slightly a good tip is to always have some sort of bin by your loo. Preferably plastic. Tip contents out and vomit in it.

If I lean forward in our upstairs loo I can vomit in the bath.


Edit: Grrrrrr @Moriath!!!!11111!!

 

[Moriath]

If I lean forward in our upstairs loo I can vomit in the bath.


Edit: Grrrrrr @Moriath!!!!11111!!

Hehe beat ya to it.

 

[Ormorof]

Isnt it easier to clean out a cheap plastic bin than a bath tub?

 

[DaGaffer]

Isnt it easier to clean out a cheap plastic bin than a bath tub?

No.

 

[Mabs]

surely that depends on the chunkiness of said projecticles ?

 

[old.Tohtori]

Also the acidity of vomit is just horrible on the porcelain surface of the bathtub you heathens.

 

[Scouse]

If you can continue to shit whilst vomiting hard then the small mercy of that is worth a few minutes work crushing carrots down a plughole...

 

[old.user4556]

I feel so much better today. I honestly thought it was never going to end. Really bad muscle pains in my chest and abdomen from all the projectile ralphing.

 

[old.Tohtori]

projectile ralphing.

Isn't that a scene in the new turtles movie? As well as a reaction?

 

[old.user4556]

Seriously Toht, I'd prefer to spend an eternity locked in a room with you and Scouse talking about God than go through that again.

 

[caLLous]

Fucking hell it must've been bad. :\

 

[Mabs]

on the subject of vomitage, how many people are mouth-spewers and how many people are mouth-and-nose ? 2nd one clearly worserer

 

[old.user4556]

I used to be a mouth, but it's evident that ears and eyeballs are not out of the realms of possibility in addition to the nose.

 

[Scouse]

I hate eyeball spewage. Stings to fuckery.

Ears tho? You must have perforated drums?

 

[Mabs]

you should bottle it and sell it under the label "Big G's Amazing Weight Loss Program" to all the middle class fuckwits who fall for advertising slogans

 

[old.user4556]

I hate eyeball spewage. Stings to fuckery.

Ears tho? You must have perforated drums?

Fuck knows Scouse, I think the puke in the nose made everything smell like sick. Felt like I was puking out my pores with the pressure.

 

[old.user4556]

Cyclists (again), yeah that's right, I said it.

Massive tailbacks in a local town of mine were caused by about 10 idiots dressed like Lance Armstrong taking up the entire lane doing about 10 mph up a hill in a 40 mph zone. Low and behold, I'm clearly not the only one thinking it.

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/sport-headlines/roads-not-a-velodrome-2014040385379

 

[Gwadien]

Cyclists (again), yeah that's right, I said it.

Massive tailbacks in a local town of mine were caused by about 10 idiots dressed like Lance Armstrong taking up the entire lane doing about 10 mph up a hill in a 40 mph zone. Low and behold, I'm clearly not the only one thinking it.

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/sport-headlines/roads-not-a-velodrome-2014040385379

Look at the brightside.

Wasn't 10 people riding Battle Turtles.

 

[Raven]

Cyclists (again), yeah that's right, I said it.

Massive tailbacks in a local town of mine were caused by about 10 idiots dressed like Lance Armstrong taking up the entire lane doing about 10 mph up a hill in a 40 mph zone. Low and behold, I'm clearly not the only one thinking it.

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/sport-headlines/roads-not-a-velodrome-2014040385379

He will stick you on ignore, you know.

 

[DaGaffer]

Cyclists (again), yeah that's right, I said it.

Massive tailbacks in a local town of mine were caused by about 10 idiots dressed like Lance Armstrong taking up the entire lane doing about 10 mph up a hill in a 40 mph zone. Low and behold, I'm clearly not the only one thinking it.

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/sport-headlines/roads-not-a-velodrome-2014040385379

I'm live and let live about it most of the time these days, but there's one road near me where the lycra mob seem to do time trials every single weekend and it fucks up all the traffic in North County Dublin. In their defence though, there have been promises of an alternate cycle route for at least a decade. The current cycle path does this (and shortly after this the pavements disappear as well, so pedestrians also have to use the road):

However, until the cycle path is built, single file you cunts!

 

[old.Tohtori]

If you need to be told "stop" before a stone f*cking wall, you deserve to hit it

 

[Scouse]

However, until the cycle path is built, single file you cunts!

Actually - two abreast is the highway code.

I don't give a fuck about groups of cyclists tbh - it tends to happen only occasionally - tractors happen more. And tough shit - you can wait an extra two or three minutes in your car before you embark on the exhausting physical exertion of depressing your right foot slightly more before passing them.

That said, I do think road cyclists are nutters tbh. Who wants to share the road with a bunch of miserable twats in two ton vehicles who think they've got a magic priority over other road users, unless you're in a two ton vehicle yourself?


Anyway - was going to post about a real twat cyclist I've just seen. A rather annoying setup of temporary traffic lights next to Nottingham's ring road resulted in a stack of cars backed up over the pedestrian crossing there. Some cunt cyclist decided to make a big deal that he couldn't cross straight over the crossing because there was a car that was parked on it.

There was space in front and behind, but he had a pop at the driver before moving his bike round the front.

I'm in a bad mood today 'cause I've got a cold so I wound my window down and gobbed off at him. I understand that because he spends his entire day getting grief off a load of inconsiderate cunts in two ton vehicles the temptation to "give it back" is massive. But two lots of cunts is two lots of cunts...

 

[DaGaffer]

Actually - two abreast is the highway code.

I don't give a fuck about groups of cyclists tbh - it tends to happen only occasionally - tractors happen more. And tough shit - you can wait an extra two or three minutes in your car before you embark on the exhausting physical exertion of depressing your right foot slightly more before passing them.

That said, I do think road cyclists are nutters tbh. Who wants to share the road with a bunch of miserable twats in two ton vehicles who think they've got a magic priority over other road users, unless you're in a two ton vehicle yourself?


Anyway - was going to post about a real twat cyclist I've just seen. A rather annoying setup of temporary traffic lights next to Nottingham's ring road resulted in a stack of cars backed up over the pedestrian crossing there. Some cunt cyclist decided to make a big deal that he couldn't cross straight over the crossing because there was a car that was parked on it.

There was space in front and behind, but he had a pop at the driver before moving his bike round the front.

I'm in a bad mood today 'cause I've got a cold so I wound my window down and gobbed off at him. I understand that because he spends his entire day getting grief off a load of inconsiderate cunts in two ton vehicles the temptation to "give it back" is massive. But two lots of cunts is two lots of cunts...

From the Irish Highway Code:

• never ride more than two abreast, and ride in single file on narrow or busy roads or when riding round bends

 

[Raven]

Its also common sense really, they are potentially putting themselves in danger by riding as a herd. Like those fucktards who don't think traffic lights or zebra crossings apply to them. Also. what gives a group of cyclists the right to hold up traffic on a busy road where it is unsafe to pass for long stretches? Single file, bellends.

Yeah, twats are twats though, more than enough twats in heavy vehicles too.

 

[Scouse]

From the Irish Highway Code:

So, two abreast then. Cheers Gaff

 

[DaGaffer]

So, two abreast then. Cheers Gaff

No. The road I'm referring to is narrow, busy and has lots of bends. Single file lycracunts. (NB. I checked the UK Highway Code as well. Exactly the same wording)

 

[old.Tohtori]

I'm in a bad mood today 'cause I've got a cold

Good to know

We need a "in a sh*tty mood" button somewhere on our profile so we can put a red light up on the forums.

 

[Scouse]

No. The road I'm referring to is narrow, busy and has lots of bends. Single file lycracunts. (NB. I checked the UK Highway Code as well. Exactly the same wording)

The wording is exactly the same but if you're referring to the road in that picture it's double-laned? And since rule 139 specifies that cars overtaking cyclists must give the same amount of room as they would another car - i.e. be on the other side of the road, then single file or two abreast looks to be a moot point.

But meh - I was just throwing in that two abreast is the highway code - but ofc you should ride to the conditions - again, as the highway code states.

 

[caLLous]

You have no idea how busy that road is so you can't possibly say if it's "safe" or not to ride two abreast based on the sole observation that it has 2 lanes.

 

[Scouse]

You have no idea how busy that road is so you can't possibly say if it's "safe" or not to ride two abreast based on the sole observation that it has 2 lanes.

Wind your neck in and read my post again.

The whole post.