D
Damini
Guest
(Just got this e-mail, and I'm sharing because it made me laugh like Ming the Merciless)
I may very well be going to hell.
Not all Jokes Are Funny, Some Are Tragic.
Man: Doctor, I've broken my leg.
Doctor: I'm afraid it is a very bad break. You will never walk again.
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Policeman: Knock, knock.
Woman: Who's there?
Policeman: The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.
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There's an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman. They are all trapped in a jail cell.
Eventually they all starved to death.
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
To escape the Nazis.
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A man walks into a pub.
He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family.
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Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge?
She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.
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Why do undertakers wear ties?
Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.
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Why do women fake orgasms?
Because they want to give men the impression that they have
climaxed.
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Two men are sitting in a pub.
One man turns to the other and says: "Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house."
The other man replies: "Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidise her drug habit."
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Did you hear about the Irishman found under a shop?
Yes, he was killed and buried there. It was gang-related.
>--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Man: What a beautiful dog. Does he bite?
Dog-owner: No.
Man: Can I pet him?
Dog-owner: No, he has a form of contagious eczema that makes his skin weep.
I may very well be going to hell.
Not all Jokes Are Funny, Some Are Tragic.
Man: Doctor, I've broken my leg.
Doctor: I'm afraid it is a very bad break. You will never walk again.
>--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Policeman: Knock, knock.
Woman: Who's there?
Policeman: The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.
>--------------------------------------------------------------------------
There's an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman. They are all trapped in a jail cell.
Eventually they all starved to death.
>--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To escape the Nazis.
>--------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man walks into a pub.
He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family.
>--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge?
She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.
>--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do undertakers wear ties?
Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.
>--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do women fake orgasms?
Because they want to give men the impression that they have
climaxed.
>--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two men are sitting in a pub.
One man turns to the other and says: "Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house."
The other man replies: "Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidise her drug habit."
>--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the Irishman found under a shop?
Yes, he was killed and buried there. It was gang-related.
>--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Man: What a beautiful dog. Does he bite?
Dog-owner: No.
Man: Can I pet him?
Dog-owner: No, he has a form of contagious eczema that makes his skin weep.
