News Clarkson suspended

[Bodhi]

I'm quite lucky in that my farts very rarely smell - very lucky in fact, as I tend to fart like a trooper, easily hitting the recommended daily output of 15-18 a day.

What I cannot do however, is sneak one out. If I fart everyone is quite well aware of what's just happened, and often engage in a game of name that tune.

 

[Scouse]

recommended daily output of 15-18 a day.

That a thing? There's a recommended daily output of farts?

Seems a bit low

 

[old.Tohtori]

That a thing? There's a recommended daily output of farts?

Seems a bit low

I'm surprised you don't have some kind of degree about that

 

[Edmond]

My farts the last few days....well, haven't turned out to be farts after all, if you catch my drift

 

[Moriath]

I would rather not catch that drift.

 

[Edmond]

I would rather not catch that drift.

Its not the drift that's the problem, its the flow

 

[old.Tohtori]

if you catch my drift

So...tokyo?

 

[old.Tohtori]

Well, surprising what you can find if you look fart enough.

Normal(or average to be exact) amount is 10-20 farts/day (500-1500millilitres). If you don't, you'll probably release it during sleep. You'll notice bad stomach pains before any fart related problems occur.

Also you like the smell of your own farts due to becoming habituated to your own smells.

If your GF is complaining and trying to say "cut down on farty foods", you can say that it's not healthy as your body needs those farty food incredients to process stuff.

You also can't hold in a fart and make it "disappear". It just leaks out slowly and silently....and deadly.

Disclaimer; While doing this research for the past 10 minutes i let out 4 nice fartaloons because obviously my brain thought "Oh, researching farts? It's farty time."

 

[Moriath]

Well, surprising what you can find if you look fart enough.

Normal(or average to be exact) amount is 10-20 farts/day (500-1500millilitres). If you don't, you'll probably release it during sleep. You'll notice bad stomach pains before any fart related problems occur.

Also you like the smell of your own farts due to becoming habituated to your own smells.

If your GF is complaining and trying to say "cut down on farty foods", you can say that it's not healthy as your body needs those farty food incredients to process stuff.

You also can't hold in a fart and make it "disappear". It just leaks out slowly and silently....and deadly.

Disclaimer; While doing this research for the past 10 minutes i let out 4 nice fartaloons because obviously my brain thought "Oh, researching farts? It's farty time."

Hehe nothing more painful than being with a new girlfriend and needing to fart. In that stage where your not comfortable sharing bodily functions yet hehe

 

[old.Tohtori]

In that stage where your not comfortable sharing bodily functions yet hehe

So, after third date?

 

[Moriath]

So, after third date?

After you slept with them. Depends on your speed. Gotta wake up in the morning and let rip. Lol

 

[old.Tohtori]

After you slept with them. Depends on your speed. Gotta wake up in the morning and let rip. Lol

"Well that was smashing luv" *fluuuuuuuuuurt* "Gonna hav a piss and head out."

 

[Job]

 

[old.Tohtori]

Farts and top gear. Duh.

 

[Edmond]

I think 18 pages is good going before the thread goes OT, lets face it they usually only last about 3 before they derail

 

[Bodhi]

Hehe nothing more painful than being with a new girlfriend and needing to fart. In that stage where your not comfortable sharing bodily functions yet hehe

I find relationships go through 3 stages.

1) You don't dare fart in front of each other.

2) You don't mind farting in front of each other.

3) You call the person through from the other room to admire your handiwork.

 

[old.user4556]

It's official. Chris Evans is taking over.

 

[Scouse]

It's official. Chris Evans is taking over.

Only sensible choice tbh.

 

[Moriath]

For three years. See what he makes of it. Hope it doesnt go too sensible.

 

[Edmond]

It does make sense. The BBC aren't going to drop it, they will move on with it, and I'd rather Evans, who at least has a passion for cars, than some fake celeb who is there just to try a draw in an audience,

This might be just what it needs, a fresh start and reimagining of the whole format

 

[Lakih]

I think it's a good thing. As much as I enjoy Hammond, May & Clarkson except for the specials if you'd seen one episode of Top Gear you have pretty much seen them all.

 

[Raven]

3 years sounds about right. The show will be decommissioned due to no viewers and no commercial value by then.

 

[Job]

Yup Evans will kill it.

 

[Scouse]

Yup Evans will kill it.

Clarkson already killed it when he punched a producer.

Evans will change it. A lot. But as it was it's already dead.

 

[Bodhi]

Hmmm not sure about this, like Chris Evans and he is an excellent broadcaster, but no real journalism experience which means the sensible car reviews might be a bit painful - his audition on TFI Friday was quite painful to watch. Still I'm sure with a bit of coaching from a tall bloke with curly hair (who will probably have quite a big say inbthe future Top Gear, being mates with Evans and all) and some decent Co presenters it could be quite amusing. As long as the BBC don't interfere and we end up with how many miles can you do in a Nissan Leaf, or start quota filling with the other presenters that is anyway...

I'm still more looking forward to what the other 3 come up with on Netflix though.

 

[old.user4556]

I'm willing to give it a chance. It's either going to be like "man, I can't believe we put up with those three twats for so long" or "kill it with fire".

 

[Syri]

I could quite easily see Evans taking the studio side into the focus a bit more, and the cars. I think it could work, if he can get the right co-presenters, and doesn't try to copy the previous format. Keep things like Star in a reasonably priced car (Evans should do well presenting that part), The Stig, all that stuff, just invent something different to go between, and make it good, even if it's different. Better than a pale imitation of the previous format that just falls flat.
I'm sure whatever the other lot come up with, it'll more than make up for the antics that will be missing from the new Top Gear, and they could work it right to get two complementary shows, both covering good ground.
Or it could all go to crap, and it all goes down the loo...

 

[Embattle]

I reckon he was one of the better candidates but I still don't think it'll succeed.

 

[Job]

He just prattles on , condecending the guest, always trying to be funnier..when he's not, he has no opinions..not contreversial or gloriously uncool and fat.
All of that made Clarkson and Evans will just bring in pointless celebs and painfully force the banter.

 

[Scouse]

I'm willing to give it a chance. It's either going to be like "man, I can't believe we put up with those three twats for so long" or "kill it with fire".

Actually, I think it'll be different and "meh". Depending on how "meh" it is will define whether I bother watching on Sunday night or when I'm bored and on iplayer.

But don't forget the number of utterly shit Top Gears there were. The show of recent years had quite a lot of frustratingly retarded episodes mixed with the ones of absolute genius.