Best Simpsons quotes

[Lamp]

What's your faves ?

 

[fl3a]

"alcohol - the cause and solution to all problems", or something of the kind

 

[Chronictank]

"alcohol - the cause and solution to all problems", or something of the kind

Here's to alcohol, the cause of—and solution to—all life's problems.


to lisa when breaking into a museum
"honey can you open the window, the police have daddy's prints on file"

Homer: Son, I just want you to know I have total faith in you.
Bart: Since when?
Homer: Since your mother yelled at me

 

[Lamp]

Homer: You in charge here?
Mr. Burns: Yes.
Smithers: I'll call security sir.
Homer: If you want the kind of employee that takes abuse I'm your man. You can treat me like dirt and I'll still kiss your butt and call it ice cream.
Mr. Burns: Hold the phone Smithers. I like the cut of your jib.
Smithers: But sir this man not only failed the aptitude test he got trapped in a closet on his way out.
Mr. Burns: I don't care. I haven't been this impressed since a young bootlick named Waylon Smithers.
Homer: You mean?
Mr. Burns: Son you're hired. What's your name?
Homer: Homer Simpson.
Mr. Burns: Simpson eh? I'll remember that name.
Homer: WHOO HOO! Only in America could I get a job.

 

[Bubble]

Read my Sig


Also-

Lisa- How did the Badger do that to you without ripping your shirt?
Homer- What am i? a Tailor?

 

[nakkiel]

Homer: Lisa, if the Bible has taught us anything - and it
hasn't - it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as foxy boxing,
hot oil wrestling, and such and such

 

[fl3a]

thx chronic
also 'this operation could increase your mental power or it could kill you' - 'increase my killing power? wohoo!'

damn, i gotta learn those quotes so they are correct

 

[Himse]

i has a soundboard somewhere

some funny homer comments!

 

[Job]

Otto.. 'of course I can prove who I am, my name is written in my underpants.'

.....looks down his pants

'Hang on these aren't mine!!!'

 

[Adrianicus]

heh

 

[Ezteq]

rofl got a huge poster with that alcohol quote on it in the pc room.

cant think of a fave quote lol i always come out with em and when i need one my minds gone blank, however i love the bit in the episode where homer becomes an astronaught and he's about to crash in to the ant farm and the ants go "Quick save the queen!!!" .... "which ones the queen?" ...."I am" ..."No your not!"

always say D'oh irl but really all the episodes have so many classic one liners in em its just too hard to choose

 

[Deld]

Homer - "Must kill Moe...", "Weee", "Must kill Moe...", "Weee". When Moe steals Homer's idea for a drink

 

[Garnet]

Homer: "Morning son. Today is the day of the golf championship AND YOU BETTER WIN!"


Later on....


Homer: "Remember what I said son. If you lose, your out of the family!"

 

[Job]

The trillion dollar note episode.

FBI: we've been watching Burns for years, we know he has the note but can't prove it, all our satellites are trained on him, but all we can prove so far is that it isn't on the roof.

That is THE funniest line this century.

 

[Rookiescot]

Homer answers the door wearing a brown paper bag.

He says "I have misplaced my pants".

His facial expression is priceless.

 

[old.Whoodoo]

I think anyone whos had broadband in any form, and had to revert to dial up for any reason....

"How can one insulated cable bring soo much happiness"...

 

[Henrock]

Homer: "Doh!"

 

[Goku]

"Where's Bart, his foods getting all cold and eaten"

 

[Job]

"Where's Bart, his foods getting all cold and eaten"

LOL

 

[Ctuchik]

Homer: "To start: Press any key... Where's the 'any' key?"

Homer: "Alright brain, you don't like me and I don't like you. But let's just get through this and then I can get back to killing you with beer"

 

[Equador]

Lisa : Dad, what's a muppet?
Homer : Well, it's not quite a mop...and not quite a puppet but man <bursts into laughter> but to answer your question I don't know.

I have that on a file somewhere, friggin' hilarious I was in tears after hearing that one

 

[Zaffa]

Homer to Bart: "If something is hard to do then its not worth doing"

thats my all time favorite, best advice you can give to your son imo

 

[Earl]

I can't believe nobodys come out with this one yet:

Homer crashs in to a fossilised deer (or maybe its a statue can't remember)

Homer: D'oh
Marge: A deer
Lisa: A female deer

Ok it dosnt sound very funny written down, but on the program it had me laughing for ages

 

[Tasslehoff]

I can't believe nobodys come out with this one yet:

Homer crashs in to a fossilised deer (or maybe its a statue can't remember)

Homer: D'oh
Marge: A deer
Lisa: A female deer

Ok it dosnt sound very funny written down, but on the program it had me laughing for ages

Rofl, I'd love to see that one

 

[Job]

Marge: Homer you lied to me.

Homer: Marge it takes two to lie, one to lie and one to listen.

 

[Lakashnik]

Homer - "Must kill Moe...", "Weee", "Must kill Moe...", "Weee". When Moe steals Homer's idea for a drink

soz to be nit picky but its not when he steals his idea for a drink
in the flaming moe episode he does go through a phase of just blankly saying.
moe moe moe moe. and heaing the word moe insted of othesr like moe money instead of more money.
the 1 where he says must kill moe weee, is the episode moe gets a gf but thinks she will leave him if he runs out of money. so he gets homer to steal his car who then gets caught sent to prison and moe leaves him there. so when hans moleman comes round with the book cart he picks up 1 named "how to tunnel out of prison" then he says " this will come in handy" hits hans moleman over the head and steals the trolley and runs off out of prison. u then next see him going down a hill riding the trolley saying ur quote of. "must kill moe... weeee"

and how has no1 said the best quote ever.
principal skinner "u will be getting a young albanian child"
homer "What? all white with little pink eyes?"
that had my whole family in stitches the 1st time we ever saw it.

 

[ElemenT]

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096697/quotes

 

[cuddled0rf]

in the sig

 

[Outlander]

Homer: dananana nananana Batman! dananana nananana Batman!..Leader!

when he is being brainwashed

 

[Job]

Homer: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel.