A Good Reason to Split Up?

[MrHorus]

What do you guys do when taking a shit?

Do you read a book/paper when your squitting (its a cross between squatting and shitting) or do you just squeeze it out ASAP?

Me, I take my sweet time and play my Gameboy Advance, it's ever so clearly the only way, plus it is both BSOD and FDISK proof

 

[MYstIC G]

Note to self... never shake hands with Bodhi

 

[Sockstuff]

I too like to take my sweet time. I tend to read a mag or a book.

The art is geting the wiping sorted before you go crusty... always a risk if you get a good read.

 

[Nightchill]

Usually a magazine. Maybe my DS if a relaxing twenty minutes is needed.

 

[MrHorus]

I too like to take my sweet time. I tend to read a mag or a book.

The art is geting the wiping sorted before you go crusty... always a risk if you get a good read.

See, then you use Wet Wipes or you quickly brush the tissue under the tap to moisten it a little...

 

[Mazling]

Warning: toilet tissue is scientifically designed* to disperse when immersed in water, so your loo doesn't block (completely).














* Spurious assertion. Quote at own risk.

 

[old.Tohtori]

In and out as fast as you can. Never really ndestood the "I'll just pop into the loo" while carrying a latest edition of war and peace under one arm

Unless you're out of paper.

By the way, what do you do then?

I usually change the roll a bit before it's depleted, so there's a handy supply of backup paper.

 

[TdC]

I can sit in a loo for ages. not only to I, err, poop, but I particularly like reading whilst taking a dump too. I do understand people who dislike that though. my gf freaks out if I'm in the loo for longer than two or three minutes. I can't help that she can do everything and have a shower in under 5 minutes, but me I like to take my time

 

[tris-]

maybe this is going slightly off topic but..

has anyone found their first smoke of the day makes them need a poo?

 

[Whipped]

Yes tris-, I get this to. I'd always just assumed that the sudden rush of nicotine loosened my bowls. Gotta be better than Al-Bran

 

[TdC]

oh, yeah, deffo had that back when I still smoked. a puff and a gulp of coffee ususally had me off to the nearest loo in a rush

 

[Trem]

oh, yeah, deffo had that back when I still smoked. a puff and a gulp of coffee ususally had me off to the nearest loo in a rush

I call the first ciggie of the day the 'shit trigger'

 

[Lazarus]

I can sit in a loo for ages. not only to I, err, poop, but I particularly like reading whilst taking a dump too. I do understand people who dislike that though. my gf freaks out if I'm in the loo for longer than two or three minutes. I can't help that she can do everything and have a shower in under 5 minutes, but me I like to take my time

you sure shes not a lady boy then?

 

[PLightstar]

Why is it that, women can't take a shower in under 5 minutes, my g/f has to spend at least half an hour, I suprised she doesn't come out looking like a shrivlled prune or something.

Anyway back to the topic, it has to be Over the top
1/ U can easily select how many pieces u want
2/ your hand does not keep brasing against the wall
3/ when under it is more likely to drop down to the floor, ending in Bog Roll covering your bathroom floor
4/ its the normal sane way of doing it
5/ much quicker

 

[TdC]

you sure shes not a lady boy then?

I'm not sure. I think not tbh. she has boobies!

women can't take a shower in under 5 minutes

not true I'm afraid. dem wimmens can do lots of things far faster than you can imagine! they make you wait to punish you for the various things you do wrong during the day, like forgetting to tell them that their new togs make their tush "better than Jennifer Lopez" et al.

 

[Whipped]

I'm not sure. I think not tbh. she has boobies!

Teeds missing the point of what most lady boys have

Why is it that, women can't take a shower in under 5 minutes, my g/f has to spend at least half an hour

It's probably one of the few alone times she gets, so she's probably stroking the cat

 

[Will]

It's probably one of the few alone times she gets, so she's probably stroking the cat

My cat hates going in the shower.


...wait a second...

 

[Brynn]

I can sit in a loo for ages. not only to I, err, poop, but I particularly like reading whilst taking a dump too.

Yea im with you. I usually read PC game instruction books while on the crapper. Either that or play tetris, you cant have a sit down piss and play tetris, by the time you have finished pee-ing the game has just finished loading.

 

[~Yuckfou~]

Mrs Yuck bought me Viz recently, so I have been reading that on the crapper. I tend to be "in and out" swiftly so it's taking me weeks to read the whole thing.

Another toilet related point:
How is it that women require 5 times the amount of loo roll to wipe their arse or "other" areas that men do?

 

[TdC]

Teeds missing the point of what most lady boys have

Teeds doesn't want to know what most lady boys have oO

 

[Whipped]

How is it that women require 5 times the amount of loo roll to wipe their arse or "other" areas that men do?

I totally agree with this one. My ex and I used to get one of those packs of, like, 15 bog rolls from Tescos and they were gone in a week!!!

My theory was that she was eating it and then regurgitating it somewhere dark and warm in order to make a cocoon, from which she would emerge 6 months later, with 6 heads*.

* Not the reason we split up

 

[tris-]

lol whipped. what an imagination.

ive noticed that between 3 of us (2 men and a woman) one bog roll a day is used.

now let me tell you something.
i have one shit a date
the other man has one a day at home (works 9-6)
now us having 2 shits a day maybe takes not even a quarter of the roll.

NOW WHERE TEH FUCK IS THE +3/4 OF THE ROLL GOING?!

really, if there is a woman here id like to know how you use 3/4 a roll PER DAY.

do you just get unused pieces and throw it down the bog for the fun of it? maybe line the inside so you dont get any splash up your holes? wrap your self in it to look like a mummy? do paper casts of your boobies? use it to dry your self after a shower instead of a towel? save it for a loo emergency after you used 50 rolls a day?
SOMEONE TELL ME!

 

[Mazling]

I'm quite economic; I tend to use the same bit of tissue more than once towards the end of 'the affair', moving from left to right. It requires a fairly stable diet, though. Not a technique for 'the day after'.

 

[babs]

I know the secret of the woman bog roll mystery. They use it all PEEING FFS.

In wiping the 'undercarriage' instead of taking just a sheet or two, the technique is as follows.

1. Grasp end of toilet roll in wiping hand
2. Grasp roll in other hand
3. repeatedly wind roll around other hand until it resembles a boxing glove
4. Dab fanny

WOMEN! WE KNOW!!!!!

 

[Trem]

If I was a woman I would just wear a panty pad all the time for catching the wee. Couldn't be arsed with all that wiping. I sometimes now put tiny Trem back in before hes finished weeing just because I get bored with the whole process. I smell great in the summer, I smell like Poundstretchers.

 

[babs]

Lmfao

 

[MYstIC G]

tiny Trem

Chet wins the Trem Sweepstakes with his random choice from the hat: Tiny

 

[Trem]

He has inside knowledge

 

[gremlin]

A thread about wee and poo is the most entertaining thread on FH for ages, go figure

 

[itcheh]

How about neither up nor down ... but on the side ... and covered with a nice pretty doll thing with a frilly skirt?