A Good Reason to Split Up?

[Jupitus]

You total tosser Trem, over the top is the only way to go ffs! Any numpty knows that!!

Oh, and that's not Paul Daniels at all, that's Ted The Dog, and you know it!!

 

[Trem]

I always knew you were a Daniels fan

 

[Wij]

Over the top.

And 5 sheets scrunched !

 

[Lazarus]

down the back is tidier, over the top is easier to access.

sort it - get a bidet

 

[Gengi]

As the millionaire Paul Daniels indicates over teh top is the way to go.

Later

Gengee

 

[~Yuckfou~]

ott, natch.

 

[Will]

Real men put it on top of the cistern. Anything else is endorsed by dodgy celebrities.

 

[TdC]

real manly men like me don't bother to wipe

 

[Will]

Real men like you shouldn't wear white underwear.

 

[TdC]

underwear?

 

[Trem]

I forgot to mention. Scottish/Dutch hybrids and pure Scottish people do not have a say in this, you don't have bog roll holders as you still use tree bark to wipe your bottoms.

 

[TdC]

I'll have you know that I'm very picky about which trees I scrub my bum on

rough, but not too rough, with just the right amount of sponge to it. and ofc there's the checking beforehand. you don't want to find out half way through that someone got there before you, if you know what I mean

 

[Will]

underwear?

I'd recommend not wearing the Don Johnson suits in public ever again.

 

[TdC]

just the PVC pants then

 

[~Yuckfou~]

While we are talking partners and toilets, the seat up/seat down issue.
Women complain that we leave the seat up and it should be left down, why should we (men) be the ones to alter the toilet seat status? I would argue that in fact women are guilty of leaving the seat down.

 

[TdC]

I leave the seat up at my girlfriend's student housing. she shares a house with three other girls, and tbh....it encourages a certain jenesaisquoi

at my own place I put it down again after a numberone, or she'll get progressively more and more nasty as time passes for some unknown reason.

personally I think it's only fair that the seat is placed in the lowered position, as the average girl uses the facilities about 50 times more often than the average bloke and therefore will require it to be in that position only certain times and won't have to touch it afterwards. strangely, it's the touching that seems to get on their tits more; one would surmise that they think that we men smear nasty gunks of ickyness on the seat just to spite dem wimmens the way they can carry on about it :/

 

[Will]

Would she rather you left the seat down all the time?

 

[old.Tohtori]

P-P-Paper problem solved!

 

[GDW]

Toilet paper?

 

[old.Tohtori]

Toilet paper?

Well. Umm. Sure! It's soft enough...

 

[Mazling]

I think we are all ignoring the larger issue. I would agree that it is a most difficult thing to face up to.

How is it possible for one to wipe whilst sitting down? Do you put your hands deep into the bowl or something? YUCK! Standing up fully too, is impossible, but surely you must rise a little bit.

 

[old.Tohtori]

I think we are all ignoring the larger issue. I would agree that it is a most difficult thing to face up to.

How is it possible for one to wipe whilst sitting down? Do you put your hands deep into the bowl or something? YUCK! Standing up fully too, is impossible, but surely you must rise a little bit.

Bend forward, hand around the back and wipe away!

 

[Whipped]

Toilet Seat up or down : I don't see the problem with forgetting to put the seat down from time time to time. After all, we have to put it up EVERY time we go No. 1. However, if you've ever had a half-asleep woman sit down on the loo when the seat is up and nearly break their back, then you know what Hell is

Toilet paper : Gotta be over the top I'm afriad. It's just easier to get to, unless the roll holder is quite high up on the wall and then round the back becomes better.

Wiping : Sit down, lean to left, under and wipe 2 - 3 times with each wad whilst folding inbetween each wipe. Simple.

 

[Trem]

I stay seated and put my hand between my legs. This causes a couple of problems -

1. The pressure on my anus seems to force a bit of wee out, this means some goes on the bog seat and some goes on my hand.

2. If I'm in a rush I can wipe some pooh onto my nuts, now I don't mind that as after the weekend they are generally covered in shat but when its your own it just isn't right.

 

[GDW]

Might I suggest a bidet (sfw)

 

[TdC]

trem for teh win! where's the quotes database when you need one!

 

[babs]

Wiping: Lean to left as mentioned before, but just one wipe with a scrunched bit, then a quick glance to see if any of that sweetcorn you ate yesterday is there as a bonus.

Sitting: Tuck it down, sometimes even tucked down beneath edge of toliet seat to keep any pee in the bowl. Vital when reading a book/playing a game.

Poo on your nuts...... You aren't doing back to front like some kind of stoke girl are you?

 

[Danya]

Front to back is the only way you sick freak trem.

 

[Uncle Sick]

Wow... you people are obsessed with the can, that's for sure.

Funny enough... I had the 'over the top' discussion with my wife before as well.
We didn't get a divorce over it, though.

 

[WPKenny]

I've never had shit on my nuts; my shit or anyone elses.

How the fuck do you get shit on your nuts from wiping your arse?