Wizard SEX!!!!!1

[mank!]

Sorry, usually wouldn't post this sort of thing but it made me laugh so hard my chest hurts... Blah is my mate Mark and the other person is some random girl.

Never give out your password or credit card number in an instant message conversation.

I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
hi
Blah says:
hello
Blah says:
cyber?
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
i guess
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
sure
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
u start tho i dunno how u like it
Blah says:
right then
Blah says:
i have a few requirements
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
ok
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
damn
Blah says:
do not, under any circumstances refer to my penis as anything except a "platypus"
Blah says:
i know that seems odd
Blah says:
but still..
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
uumm... ya odd doesnt describe it
Blah says:
well, i could explain but it would take ages
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
ok
Blah says:
have you got ages or are you pressed for time?
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
wait b4 u continue where u live in the UK?
Blah says:
yes, UK
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
where in the UK dumbass
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
i got a lil bit of time
Blah says:
that's not very nice!
Blah says:
i live in brighton
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
lolok
Blah says:
you?
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
i live in the USA

Blah says:
whereabouts?
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
massachusetts
Blah says:
what do you look like?
Blah says:
hello?
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
hold up a sec
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
ight im 5'6 1/2"
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
brown hair and dark brown eyes
Blah says:
mmm
Blah says:
sounds nice
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
40b
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
tits
Blah says:
ooh
Blah says:
good size
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
uummm wst else u wanna know?

Blah says:
any piercings?
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
clit nose tongue and eyebrow
Blah says:
you have your clit done?
Blah says:
nice..
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
yes
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
lol
Blah says:
i guess i know what you look like now
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
haha
Blah says:
anything you want to know?
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
how long? and how wide?
Blah says:
in all honesty?
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
yes
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
tell me the truth
Blah says:
7 long
Blah says:
i haven't really measured width
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
o ok
Blah says:
but i'm guessing it's enough
Blah says:
NO ONE ELSE HAS COMPLAINED!
Blah says:
wink wink nudge nudge.
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
lol
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
so i take it ur not a vrigin???
Blah says:
no
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
wait so r u a virgin or not?
Blah says:
i'm not a virgin
Blah says:
*pumps*
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
ok
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
;p;
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
*lol
Blah says:
anything else you want to know?
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
uumm. . . . . .
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
u trim or nething?
Blah says:
i'm nicely built, yes
Blah says:
i like to work out
Blah says:
i'm actually really shallow, you see
Blah says:
i spend most of my time working out
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
u got a pic?
Blah says:
afraid not..
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
o
Blah says:
i guess you'll just have to use your imagination
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
lol
Blah says:
wanna get down to business?
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
i guess
Blah says:
sure?
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
ya sure y not
Blah says:
alright
Blah says:
because you're shy about starting, it'll be more exciting if you do
Blah says:
it gets easier.
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
lol
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
id rather u start
Blah says:
ok, fine
Blah says:
i'm going to kiss you sensually
Blah says:
on your neck
Blah says:
and slowly make my way down
Blah says:
i'll lift up your top slightly, and kiss your stomach
Blah says:
and work my way up to your lovely juicy tits
Blah says:
i'll remove my top completely
Blah says:
AND PUT ON MY WIZARD COSTUME
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
ok
Blah says:
i like to dress up
Blah says:
would you dress up as a fairy please?
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
sure
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
lol
Blah says:
excellent
Blah says:
i'll work my way towards you
Blah says:
through your dazzling beauty
Blah says:
i'll take out my wand...
Blah says:
AND CAST +10 BONER
Blah says:
i can see you're very excited by this
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
oooo yes
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
i am
Blah says:
you stare at my giant wand. either one will do.
Blah says:
at which point SOME ELVES START ATTACKING ME
Blah says:
OH NO THEY'RE EVERYWHERE
Blah says:
I CAST +10000 REPEL
Blah says:
REPEL
Blah says:
REPEL
Blah says:
thank god, they're gone
Blah says:
i work my way between your legs
Blah says:
oh no, i'm starting to go limp
Blah says:
please shout "OH YOUR WAND IS SO HUGE"
Blah says:
this is frustrating
Blah says:
!
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
oh you wand is so HUGE!!!!!
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
i want that so bad
Blah says:
yeah?
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
ooo yes
Blah says:l
OH NO
Blah says:
YOU HAVE ANAL SYPHILIS
Blah says:
I CAST -10 SYPHILIS
Blah says:
OH NO
Blah says:
YOUR TITS HAVE MUTATED INTO GIANT PSYCHSCORPIONS
Blah says:
*FLEE*
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
ooo
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
no!
Blah says:
sorry..
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
. . . .
Blah says:
my wand was destroyed by a rampant halfling
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
ight this is like wierd
Blah says:
that's because you've just been HAD
Blah says:
thankyou for providing me with a good laugh, however
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
u fucking wierd kid
I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give says:
this was gay

Not as good as Perp's Banio(?) log but still made me laugh

 

[Daffeh]

THAT was it?


i thought it was meant to be funny

 

[ECA]

so many of these floating around atm.

sigh.

 

[Summo]

That made me laugh.

 

[Sharma]

Hhe i found that one a good laugh

 

[(Shovel)]

It was getting really dull, and it wasn't great, but the "AND THEN I PUT ON MY WIZZARD COSTUME", all in caps and everything made me laugh. Too much in fact.

I do hope he got the timing just right...

 

[Tom]

could some1 summarise pls, cba reading it all

 

[old.I_Am_Glen]

boy meet girl

boy girl cyb0r!

boy ruin it with shii wizzie comments

girl get pised of

/end

o_0

 

[raw]

heh that was half amusing

 

[Lester]

Nice One Mank. I'm not blowing my own trumpet (cause I certainly didn't do this) but for those folks who're new this
is the daddeh!

 

[Xtro]

Originally posted by old.I_Am_Glen
I am Scooba!


o_0

 

[Shocko]

Perhaps the the bit before the Wizard costume was a bit long, but that did make me laugh, so it was worth the read

 

[mank!]

The funny bit was the "under no circumstances refer to my penis as anything but platypus" and the Wizard bit and beyond

He got the timing just right

Lester - that one rocks heh, remember reading it when you posted it.

Does anyone have the Banio log?

 

[SilverHood]

Old (ahem)

 

[SilverHood]

Partner6: So you're really a 18 yr old girl right?
J-Dogg: Yeah, J for Julie.
Partner6: So whats with the "Dogg"
J-Dogg: Uh, It's cause I'm into the latina gangs and sh*t. You know, rollin
with tha homies and sh*t.
Partner6: Oh, uh ok thats cool. So you ever seen a gun?
J-Dogg: Yeah like I got 6 guns.
Partner6: Thats cool, so you wanna see my gun?
J-Dogg: hehe, of course baby.
Partner6: I pull off my pants and show you my "gun".
J-Dogg: Ohh, it's so big.
Partner6: Yeah, what you want to do?
J-Dogg: Umm, i guess stroke it or something.
Partner6: It likes that.
J-Dogg: aight.
Partner6: Keep talking to me baby...
J-Dogg: I kiss you on the mouth, hard, but then gently.
Partner6: Mmmm, daddy like.
J-Dogg: I unzip my pants...
Partner6: Yes, show me what you got.
J-Dogg: I pull out my schlong, and rub it on your breasts...
Partner6: WTF?!
J-Dogg: Oh sh*t, I meant, your schlong! your schlong!
Partner6: I've had it with you queers trying to cyber me, I only f*ck women...
J-Dogg: Sh*t just don't shoot me man, I wasn't serious about the guns I have, I'm unarmed!
Partner6: You dipsh*t.
J-Dogg: I whimper to myself...
J-Dogg: please don't shoot me Mr.


----------------

J-dogg: Hey Kate, I saw you on the hs chatroom
J-dogg: Your pretty funny
DirtyKate: I don't remember you.. but thanx
J-dogg: Wanna cyber?
DirtyKateK, but don't tell anybody
DirtyKate: Who are you?
J-dogg: I graduated two years ago. I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot. Right now I'm going to Auburn
J-dogg: And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my new Sebring
DirtyKate: You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..
J-dogg: Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order
DirtyKate: Haha! OK
DirtyKate: Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
J-dogg: Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?DirtyKate: I want everything, baby!
J-dogg: Is this a delivery?
DirtyKate: Umm...Yes
DirtyKate: So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
J-dogg: Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.
DirtyKate: Jdogg, I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
J-dogg: You can't hurry good pizza.
J-dogg: I'm on my way now though
DirtyKate: So you're at my front door now.
J-dogg: How did you know?
J-dogg: I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
J-dogg: Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
DirtyKateooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold.
Warm

 

[nath]

man, that cracked me up very audibly at work :|

 

[mank!]

Originally posted by SilverHood
Old (ahem)

Yeah, so old I was in IRC whilst he was doing it.

Well done for finding something vaguely similar!!!!!!1

 

[SilverHood]

i didn't find it

some guy posted it in daoc forums some days ago

 

[dysfunction]

Originally posted by SilverHood
i didn't find it

some guy posted it in daoc forums some days ago

Why is there a "General" forum in the DAOC forum??...thats just silly!!

 

[Sir Frizz]

hmmmmmz

 

[SilverHood]

for general chat about daoc? non server related stuff

 

[dysfunction]

Originally posted by SilverHood
for general chat about daoc? non server related stuff

Then the general general stuff should be posted here! Not there!

 

[SilverHood]

we have off topic for that

 

[mank!]

Yay, found the Banio log, pure class

 

[Custy]

ROFL the "THEN I PUT ON MY WIZARD COTUME" was funny as fuck.

and the Cast +10 Boner

 

[SilverHood]

lol, brill!

 

[Arwen]

lmfao!