Transformers!!! (Sorry)

[leggy]

Keep your money. Underwhelmed to say the least.

The trailer showed so much promise but what did I get?

No plot
Uber camp autobots
Horrible horrible dialogue
The most annoying character since Jar Jar Binks
Completely disjointed story with a collection of random scenes
Far too many slow-mo, just come of out a serious action scene, hand holding shots.


The best thing was:
Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox (only because she actually is a fox).
The actual trasforming
and

Spoiler

The megatron/optimus fight at the end

I'm sorry if i've put a dent in anyone's day but it really was over the top cheesey with a horrible script.

 

[old.Tohtori]

I did a rather large post on it on another thread, but i'll summarise with

Spoiler

"Shaky Cam ruined it".

Every single fight, action scene, transformer bit was ruined completely by Bays shaking camera preference. Couldn't see sh*t, even the end fight was ruined.

And the dumb similar look of all decepticons, couldn't even tell one apart.

Fight begins, "ball of metal spins on screen with added sound", fight is over.

Not to mention lips on transformers made me cry

 

[Whipped]

Spoiler

4 transformers trying to hide in a garden made me cringe. Also, I thought the fight at the end was over way to quickly. I actually reasonably enjoyed the film and did like the fact that the new bumble bee was parked next to a yellow VW

 

[nath]

Megan Fox should be doing porn, not mainstream cinema. She just seems filthy. Moreso than Sasha Grey quite frankly, and that's saying something.

Plus have you seen her tats? They look so fucking stupid :\

 

[dysfunction]

I found it quite entertaining. Not brilliant but it was fairly enjoyable. It was def aimed at kids so you need to take that into consideration...

 

[Trem]

I really enjoyed it.

Die Hard 4 on the otherhand I thought was utter shat.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Die Hard 4 on the otherhand I thought was utter shat.

Heretic!

 

[TdC]

Megan Fox should be doing porn

/agree



*touch self*

 

[Damini]

Spoiler

The script was cringey. That whole, completely out of the blue, "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND SACRIFICE!" thing was lame-o. It looked like it had just been thrown in as an after thought. Rubbish. The humour was really contrived and awkward. "He smells like he wishes to procreate with this woman" and "Are you masturbating?" Puhlease.

And Transformers hiding in a garden? God. Why not just have them slip on a banana skin. Or fart. Or spray "lubricant" from a hole where a willy would be. Hey, wait! They did

The fights were cool when they were shot from a distance. Close up though, it was like watching a tumble dryer full of tin foil and scrap metal.

The characters of all the transformers were pretty throw away.


Did I mention yet how pointless the whole hackers/IT peeps subplot was?

Over all, some pretty spectacular set piece fight scenes, but they gave this project to the wrong script writer and the wrong director.

 

[TdC]

VG Cats - Comics - Updated Monday

 

[Ch3tan]

It's a basic movie, but nothing can take away from the fact that it is Transformers. Lets hope for a better storyline and a new director for the sequel.

 

[dysfunction]

It was aimed at 7 year olds.

 

[TdC]

Spoiler

tbh my fave moment was when Megatron flicked away the pesky human vermin at his feet

 

[Damini]

But it was ludicrous to aim it at seven year olds. For starters, the rating it got was 12. Secondly, the vast majority of people doing the sex wee over the prospect of a Transformer film were boys aged 20-35, who loved it when they were kids. Thirdly, it's still possible to aim things at kids and have adults not have their bumholes pucker at every joke, shit piece of advertising, and cringesome script line. Fourthly, all advertising showed the adult side. Certainly, if I'd seen a trailer that showed Optimus Prime crouching in a porch, whispering so that Mum can't find him, I'd have reappraised my decision to spank money on the cinema.

 

[TdC]

But it was ludicrous to aim it at seven year olds. For starters, the rating it got was 12. Secondly, the vast majority of people doing the sex wee over the prospect of a Transformer film were boys aged 20-35, who loved it when they were kids. Thirdly, it's still possible to aim things at kids and have adults not have their bumholes pucker at every joke, shit piece of advertising, and cringesome script line. Fourthly, all advertising showed the adult side. Certainly, if I'd seen a trailer that showed megatron crouching in a porch, whispering so that Mum can't find him, I'd have reappraised my decision to spank money on the cinema.

indeed. the garden scene was cringeworthy. in fact, I did cringe. and it went on for frigging ages, whereas what could have been an epic Prime/Megatron battle was over in about three seconds :/

 

[Wazzerphuk]

What did you people expect? It's from Bay, aka Pearl Harbour.

 

[caLLous]

That's not fair on Bay, it's not like he habitually makes shit films. The Rock, Bad Boys 1 & 2, Armageddon. OK, maybe not Armageddon, but the first 3 were good...

 

[DaGaffer]

I thought it was alright. Felt like two separate films welded together, but we're talking about a film based on kids toys ffs, not Proust.

 

[Damini]

Yeah, but all it would have taken was a tad more material left on the cutting room floor and this would have been a really good film. Thats whats annoying about it.

 

[Mobius]

i haven't seen any transformers pictures or anything and i just went to check who megan fox was after nath likened her to sasha grey and it's that girl from hope & faith! now i want to watch it

 

[leggy]

Don't. Give me the 7 quid.

If they can make a good comic book adaptation I'm sure they can make something out of the Transformers. A wasted opportunity and complete brain rot at the same time.

 

[Opt1]

Tbh, I really enjoyed it. It satisfied a longing I've felt for a long time, and it looks like they'll plan a sequel.. and hopefully follow on to eventually do a movie version of the original Transformers Movie.. which, in all honesty, is one of the best movies of all time (and Hotrod / Rodimus is my homeboy )

Excessive commentary to follow..

Spoiler

BUT.. I am 100% with you on the shakey-cam.. I think directors are way too obsessed with that technique. Perhaps sometimes it helps to immerse audiences.. but after the initial effect, its just irritating as hell, looks stupid and spoils all the action. Ruined almost all of the bot-on-bot fights. Curse him.

I know the humour was a bit lame at times (though I didn't mind it too much), but if you watch some of the original transformers (which I still do from time to time lols :x), the humour is along a similar style.. after all, the movie is based on kids cartoons, which is what people wanted the films to stay true to - even those of us who are 20+. I think the marketing department probably got a bit confused by it all tbh.

The garden scene I actually didn't mind, I found it initially quite funny and again in the same kinda mood as the cartoons, though it went on way too long - and like someone said, the Megatron/Opti fight really should have lasted a lot longer.. and was anyone a bit disappointed about how much Prime got his ass handed to him? Not the way it should have been. Megatron always wins by cheap tactics. Optimus is teh win.

And yup.. wtf is with all the lips on the transformers? Bring back their visor-type things ffs. Their faces up close looked like they'd tried way too hard with the design (lips ffs lol).. shoulda just stuck exactly to the originals.

And yup again, they should have made all the transformers much more individual and distinctive. Too many random metal parts everywhere and not enough individuality. Fingers crossed they'll all get more screentime in future.. too much time spent on irritating Infiltrator-bot-thing and not enough on all the others.. and ffs Prime is not that weak Bay you stupid cniggit!!!

But, all in all, I enjoyed it. Was worth the money and I might see it again in the next coupla weeks. Fingers crossed they do a sequel or two and we get to see HotRod, the Dinobots and the Destructobots make an appearance..

Soo.. if you're a fan, watch it. I enjoyed it a lot, but 'tain't anything on the coolness of the original movie (which is about £3 on DVD in HMV these days.. well worth it). And that VG Cats comic is too true.

But, as you can tell by a few things including my screenname, I probably have an unhealthy obsession..

 

[Calaen]

Well having read these posts before I went to the cinema this evening I told my wife that I felt I was going to be let down.. I wasnt in the slightest, the comments about storylines and script are a bit silly its about robots from another planet (I dont recall the last robot from cybertron to get a grammy for best dialogue) but feel free to pm me its name.

I think that you are forgetting what Transformers is all about. I have not been satisfied by a movie at the cinema in a long while, it had everything that I can remember from when I was a kid, from the first time I heard the noise of it transforming I was won over. I can overlook scenes that are designed for the laughs of kids because deep down this movie was from my era of growing up and it ticked all the boxes.

Seems strange to say it but I came away with a feeling to go and open up my box with all my old figures from my mothers attic. It made me remember being a kid and that isnt something that can be knocked.

So read all the reviews you want but do not let that stop you from witnessing the movie yourself it gets a big thumbs up from me.

 

[Raven]

started off average and went down hill, would have been much better if (as mentioned above) the directer didn't put his camera men on vibrating platforms, it adds nothing to the film. Some of the special effects could have been awsome if you werent subjected to the stupid camera work.

Not enough Decepticons and i didn't like Optimus Prime

 

[leggy]

I think that you are forgetting what Transformers is all about.

No.

Regardless of the fact that the film is about cars that can turn into robots. The point being made is that someone has wasted millions of pounds on what is essentially an exercise for malformed brains.

What next? Films about boy wizards and messenger owls?

 

[Calaen]

So what did you want from it then? 2 robots in a boxing ring exchanging hooks and uppercuts?

 

[Opt1]

Hehe, I can see both sides of the argument, but I'm with Calaen on this one - I liked the film.

BUT.. I just wish the camera work was better done for the combat.. woulda been an absolutely awesome film if it had been.. and though I liked their look overall, woulda changed some things.. and only one token human fs .. and less hand holding!.. and I wish Prime put up a better fight at the end.. he's the daddy fs

So.. liked the film.. its just missing a few things that make it fall a fair way short of the greatness it shoulda been. Shame.. but fingers crossed for a sequel.

Go watch the original

/plugging

 

[Ch3tan]

leggy is never satisfied.

If you want a good nostalgia movie, then check out the animated turtles movie that came out this year. Was actually really good.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Actually, if you REALLY want the REAL annoyance from this "supposed" "true to transformers" movie...

Spoiler

No lasers. Where's Optimus' hand cannon?! Only one was when megatron shot optimus, and that was one of those shakeycam moments and way too lame for the effect it should've had.

And the real kicker? WHO THE F*CK had the brainfart to KILL transformers?!

 

[Talivar]

I thought it was good but not brilliant. Main probs are like ppl mentioned already the shaky cams, to much comedy and not enough screen time for the transformers.... But i think you have to look at the bigger picture, all the kids love it and that was the idea. The prob is we are all 20-35 ppl who remeber the cartoons and want them to be like they was BUT not eb aimed at kids anymore and that doesnt work. All in all tho much much much better than harry potter but not as good as die hard 4 Bring on Jason Bourne to take down potter,prime and john mclane!