Time To Grow Up

[xane]

Native American tradition is to look outside the tent for a name when you are born, I'll let Terry Pratchett explain:

"Why are you called One-man-bucket?"

"...In my tribe we're traditionally named after the first thing my mother sees when she looks out of the tepee after the birth. It's short for one-man-pouring-a-bucket-of-water-over-two-dogs."

"That's pretty unfortunate."

"It's not too bad. It was my twin brother you had to feel sorry for. She looked out ten seconds before me to give him his name."

"don't tell me, let me guess. Two-dogs-fighting?"

"Two-dogs-fighting? Two-dogs-fighting? Wow, he would have given his right arm to be called Two-dogs-fighting."

 

[throdgrain]

You already know my opinions Trem, it will first be carnage, then lots of pooh, then a lot of griping and "I want" -ing.
Look on the bright side, you wont be expected to entertain the other half so much though, as she'll have her hands full, so more time for cs












*there may be some good bits inbetween all this

 

[Scooba da Bass]

I am in awe of Trem's super sperm.

 

[Gray]

ahhh good one Trem, i know you'll make a good daddy!

 

[Jonaldo]

Congrats to you and your sperm!


(Kieran is my favourite boys name if you're stuck for ideas)

 

[Uncle Sick]

How about... Glen?

 

[~Yuckfou~]

I am going to be a daddy

Call the Cops!!!

Congrats

Kids scare me, until that fear subsides Mrs Yuck will continue to get it in the Tradesmans tbh

 

[Yoni]

grats trem I am sure you will be a fantastic dad

 

[L_Plates]

Congrats trem, im sure you will be a great dad

 

[GDW]

Trems congratulations. Having kids will be the best and worst thing that happens in your life.

 

[Xtro]

So we can't call you Jaffa anymore then?

Good luck mate

 

[Rubber Bullets]

Actually where is Rubber Bulletts? I really want him to know

I'm here, and I do now

This is big, really big, and until it all happens nothing anyone says can prepare you for it. And then when it has all happened, it goes on happening, well forever is my latest estimate.

Esme is now 2 years, 8 months and she is fabulous, cheeky, naughty, funny and the biggest pain in the arse you can imagine, all within seconds of each other, and then she starts again.

Don't worry about what sort of dad you'll be, and don't worry that you'll be like your own father. Knowing the mistakes your own parents made, and wanting to do better is all it takes.

Lastly you won't have to worry about teaching the little one to wind Samm up, it'll know how to do that naturally, with no help from you. It's in their job description.

Anyway give Samm a hug from me, and congratulations to you both.

Are you coming down this way anytime soon? You'd better get down quick cos the rest of your life will be on hold soon.

Cheers

RB

 

[Lester]

Congratulations you.

Don't worry Samm will make a great mum.

Can I have all your stuff you won't have time or money for now?

Oh and you get to do it doggy style soon without having to beg.

P.S.

boys name = Lee
girls name = Leigh

Obvious really.

Wanna buy a number plate?

 

[Trem]

Some of those replies made me piss myself

RB's reply made me happy. As soon as the holiday is booked I will let you know RB, we are gonna holiday in your part of the country so we will deffo meet up.

Thanks again lads and lassies.

 

[leggy]

Well done on sustaining an erection long enough mate

But seriously, I'd have you as a dad. And i'm fussy about who my dads are.

Oh and good luck. Make sure you play CDs near samm's tummy so the kid doesn't wake up and realise he/she likes westlife or something.

 

[itcheh]

If Sam has a boy you should call it Nago after its father

 

[Deadmanwalking]

Should call it Fred!

Bloody excellent name.

 

[TedTheDog]

Congrats Trem, and the very fact that you are concerned already is probably a very good sign regarding your suitability for the role of father.

 

[Damini]

How about... Glen?

You call the second child Glen.





and the third one too.

 

[Samm]

Its nice to hear from you all, I have to say though Im looking forward to the Bloomin stage at the minute instead of the constantly throwing up, generally feeling tired and crappy stage. uke:

I keep telling Trem he will be a great Dad, I am concerned about the ganging up against mum games he will inevitably play against me with the baby but I'm sure I'll get my own back (in advance) during labour when from what I hear anything goes and all must be forgiven!!

So im going now as bathroom is calling me yet again, Trem will no doubt keep you up to date and you'll all end up being sick off me when i finish work before the birth and am too big to move from chair so can do nothing but post all day.

Yea to exciting, scary major changes, hope we dont have to grow up too much though :wub:

 

[Bodhi]

Awwww Trem0x is a big boy now! Got a kid on the way and everything!


No-one deserves this as much as you mate. Congratulations.




My one piece of advice? If the baby ever won't go to sleep, I'm fairly sure a large bifta or some "cooking" will have it nodding off again in no time


(Thinking about it being a baby is a perfect time to get stoned - you couldn't move, even if you wanted to. No one expects you to do anything - you could just sit there and mong. /me starts building Time Machine)

 

[Uncle Sick]

You call the second child Glen.





and the third one too.

Hehe

Oh... one of the true joys of a father-to-be is getting your girlfriend/wife to pee herself laughing. Try not to be too funny in public. Seriously.

The wee one

 

[Trem]

Oh and you get to do it doggy style soon without having to beg.

By the way Lee, Samm read that bit. You coming round for coffee tonight mate?

 

[Lazarus]

hey Trem.

Already wished you good luck, but "officially" all the best matey. Hope things work out for you and dont worry about being a dad............yet (plenty of time for that later )


I would suggest that you start downloading all the porn you can get for after the little one is due, cos you are the only person that you are gonna get sex with for a loooong while

 

[SparKeh]

Congrats trem

There was me thinking u are always moody because u dont get any I hope it all goes well for u and the mrs. Lets see if he/she will be brought up to be a better gamer than you

I knew a guy who had trained his 3 year old girl to put in the UT cd and load it up and stick the headphones on. She didnt know how to play at that age obviously yet but i thought it was a good start. Pity she didnt put a decent game cd in


/me waits for the UT groupies to abuse me now

 

[Trem]

Thats ok Laz, I'm great!

Oh and your avatar.......watch DreamCatcher!

 

[SparKeh]

hey Trem.

I would suggest that you start downloading all the porn you can get for after the little one is due, cos you are the only person that you are gonna get sex with for a loooong while

Personally i would suggest he stops downloading the likes of goat porn so when hes teaching his kid to use the pc he/she doesnt open it

 

[Trem]

Double post...sue me.

Thanks again lads.

The more I look at your avatar the more you need to watch DreamCatcher Laz, it really is uncanny, infact its identical to something.......

Spoiler

..in the film a bloke has a thing pop out his arse, and his action is exactly the same as your avatar

 

[Jupitus]

Many grats to Trem and Samm, I hope it all goes smoothly for you. Trem - make sure you are there for the birth, it's an extraordinary moment. Samm - you don't get the choice, so give him hell

 

[Uncle Sick]

it's an extraordinary moment.

Blood, pain and screamage?