The longest story in the whole of the world (Barrysworld stylee)

[old.[GA] Shovel]

trick.
He pulled a giant penis out of his trousers.
To which Debbie said
"Wow! that IS magic, coz it was nothing like that before."
This also mistified the Coroner who was also wondering what had happened.
Then he discovered that..

 

[vuz]

.. he had a son, named Bigfoot ..

 

[Stazbumpa]

....who was the Labour candidate for Norwich at the last election but lost miserably because.....

 

[Testin da Cable]

...it had rained fish and nobody turned up. Anyhoo, cos it had fishy rain an whatall, chipshops all over the country cut their prices therefor a large portion of the populus became...


-tdc

 

[old.[20FTS]Luap]

...fed up with chips. The cheap chips meant that fried fish were more popular and the sport of Slapping people around with a wealy wealy large twout was to become an Olympic event. The gold medal goes to the first person that...

 

[Testin da Cable]

...actually managed to get the record breaking 5,5 ft brown trout inserted into the...

-tdc

 

[old.[20FTS]Luap]

...parking meter outside McDonalds in Piccadilly. McDonalds, famous for the line "throw it down the toilet and cut out the middle man" were in Court that day, defending a charge of...

 

[Testin da Cable]

...illegally selling troutish hamburgers under the name 'McTrout Deluxe'(c) because the name had already been patented, copyrighted and otherwise locked down by the...

-tdc

 

[Stazbumpa]

....Microsoft corporation. "We defend our reputation of being crap, would u like Windows to work properly for a change?" said a Microsoft spokesblokeperson, and so we all went home. Meanwhile Staz had been out DJ'ing at a mates party and was totally kay-lied when he wrote this post, to which everyone replied.....

[Edited by stazbumpa on 01-10-00 at 01:06]

 

[Testin da Cable]

...coo did ya have a good time m8? Then the tired Staz replied:"...

-tdc

 

[Stazbumpa]

......"hell yeah, the entire female population of the Grammer school upper sixth form was there. Draw your own conclusions I got sloshed in a room full of gorgeous women. BOOYAKASHA". Staz stopped typing and thought "bugger, I'm at work in half an hour and I feel like pants" and so threw a line in that had a remote connection to the story.

McDonalds were found guilty and ordered to serve decent food for a change, but couldn't and so were turned into a chain of stores that do shoe repairs and key cutting. Back at the Microshaft..sorry, Microsoft HQ.........

 

[Testin da Cable]

...our good pal BillG, ceo of the evil empire that only ruled cos it had the bestist marketing department in the world, was getting a blowjob from his fave pe0n called...


-tdc

 

[xenon2000]

...Embattle, who was wearing...

 

[Testin da Cable]

...his oldest black pvc truss that smelled like...

 

[vuz]

.. something that could have only come from the oversized rectum of an olympic sumo-wrestler who just happened to be ..

 

[Stazbumpa]

....Vanessa Feltz, who suffered a relapse and had eaten all the pies. She won gold at the Sydney Olympics for being crap, but realised that.....

 

[xenon2000]

She would have been better off without the medal, as it was actually made of crap. And it stank worse than her armpits, so she took it off, and hurled it at the nearest passer-by, who happened to be a middle aged man on the way to...

 

[Testin da Cable]

...Bletchley to take part in a Dark Ages pagent. Also involved in this breath-taking event were two blokes from Leeds and a large turnip shaped almost exactly like the tip of...

 

[xenon2000]

The eiffel Tower. Unfortunately, they never made it to Bletchley, due to...

 

[Testin da Cable]

...excruciating gastric pain caused by eating the turnip shaped like the tip of the eiffel tower after roasting it slowly on a red hot 12x plextor burner. The intense pain felt by our heros slowly translated itself into incredible flatulence that clapped and echo'd from the nearby hills. These strange sounds attracted the attention of...

 

[Stazbumpa]

...migrating whales in the North Atlantic. Whales are randy bastards and thought it was a mating call, but on route to hump whatever was making the noise they were quickly slaughtered by a Japanese "scientific research" vessel. The Japanese.....

 

[old.[Do]JiM]

...were actually out hunting for the Giant Iguana Squid. Appaently the squid....

 

[old.Sokem]

...could do a great impression of bob hoskins in the BT ad's, the whale was caught and sold to the tv company who...

 

[vuz]

.. had roast whale for sunday lunch, which was a change from the normal ..

 

[old.Mr Niceguy]

... routine because it was saturday. Halfway through the meal though the whale which was being eaten became very angry, turned and said
"OY!!! BASTARDS, NOOOOO!!!!"
the half eaten whale then executed a perfect double backflip, roundhouse kicked the people in the face, and escaped on a motorbike to go live in...

 

[old.[20FTS]Luap]

...The BBC TV center and become a star. Rolf Harris appeared on the set, pointed at the whale and said..."

 

[old.ignus]

...g'day. On today's show I'll be making silly noises and pretending to know what I'm talking about. With that he began drawing a picture that resembled the whale then asked.
"Can you tell what it is yet? to which a cameraman replied....

 

[old.[20FTS]Luap]

..." 'ang on, I forgot to turn the camera on. There, done it, sorry cobber, start again". Rolf smacked him in the jaw. "Pommy bastard". The camera man stood up and nursed his busted jaw. Rolf smiled at the camera and said "...

 

[old.ignus]

..."Let's take a look at what that red haired minx Shauna's been up to." The camera cuts to Shauna who flicks her hair about and says...

 

[Stazbumpa]

...."My name is Michael Caine" at which point most of the crew threw up as they had all been sleeping with her/him/it.
In the corner....