The longest story in the whole of the world (Barrysworld stylee)

[old.SUp3rFM]

...he got smacked by the moose's fart, due to his...

(got the 300 post

)

 

[vuz]

... *entertainment* - this involved shuffing your kitty cat nose right up a moose's rectum and seeing whether the smell was nice or not, the smell was rarely nice but on one ocasion with its nose up a moose's arse this kitty found a ....

 

[xenon2000]

smal miniture luxury mansion. The kitty was intrigued by this, so couldn't help creeping up to the tiny front gate and taking looking inside. But, unfortunately this house turned out to be the stately home of...

 

[Milkshake]

...Bob Monkhouse. He liked to......

 

[old.Sokem]

...steal the milking tits off of cats and boil them in custard ready for...

 

[Milkshake]

........his homemade Prozac. This was the only way he could......

 

[old.[20FTS]Luap]

...keep his hair from falling out. He had to rub it in every night before bed. Soon he found a remarkable side effect, after rubbing the stuff into his hair he found enormous growth in his...

 

[old.Nosser-]

...piles. His 'grapes of wrath' were now the size of a rugby ball. While modelling with Will Carling a ...

 

[vuz]

... cow ate the both, this was an all new experience for Will Carling who had many a time been in awkward situations, but never inside a cow, after a while the cow farted and ...

 

[old.Relix]

...exploaded, sending small chunks of semi-charred meat up into the atmosphere. Europe then launched their nuclear arsenal at England claiming that the chunks of cow meat were BSE-infested, but luckily Mr Blobbie appeared in time to cushion the impact, and as a celebration went down on Noel who was at the same time performing cunillingus on...

 

[Stazbumpa]

.....Dame Barbara Cartland, who didn't mind at all despite the fact that she is dead. Suddenly, Arnold Schwarzenegger appeared in a blinding flash of light and said "Sarah Connor?", to which Noel, like a twat, said "yes?" and so had his head blown off. Arnie then.........

 

[old.Sokem]

...proceeded to kick two tons of shit out of Noel for the dreadful cardigans he wore and for giving the world Mr Blobby, Arnie calmed down and...

 

[old.Luap2]

...pumped some rounds into everyone else. The Uzi fell to the floor, apparently empty and drained, smoke wafting from the muzzle. As the Uzi hit the ground the last round fired off and bounced (can't spell richo...) off an iron gutter and flew down the street towards a woman who seemed to be touching her toes. The bullet entered her...

 

[old.SUp3rFM]

...anus. Fortunally, the speed of the bullet was way too slow, causing just a slight tickle in her bungholE!. That's when the granny thought "I haven't felt nothing like this in ages... since my school days when...

 

[Stazbumpa]

......you could go out with a shilling and buy a house, have a slap up dinner, go to Blackpool for a weekend and still have enough change for a newspaper and a packet of fags. However, she was an old biddy and was mumbling all this whilst crossing the round and so was squashed by a passing tank which was driven by.......

 

[old.SUp3rFM]

... an alien in a shape of a potato, that was headed to buckingham palace to take over...

 

[Milkshake]

....the corgi's kennels. The aliens WERE only 2cm tall, and to thim, this was luxury. This was fine and dandy till......

 

[old.rwd-mank]

Bob Monkhouse arrived on the scence, declaring that ...

 

[vuz]

.. it was bedtime ..

 

[old.Luap2]

...but Zebbadee was having none of it. " I've too much to do to go to sleep now!" He shouted to the other Magic Roundabout characters, " '''k off and leave me alone". He flicked a dirty look at the small hairy hampster like creature called...

 

[old.SUp3rFM]

... Fart Simpson, son of...

 

[old.[20FTS]Luap]

...Papa Simpson. Farther of a farting child, husband to a farting woman, son of a farting...

 

[old.TUG]

cow! that incedentally made a smart noise that sounded like 'sh00' but mostly sounded like...

 

[old.[20FTS]Luap]

..Boo. This cow loved frightening people. Especially people who worked for...



wtf am I doing up at this time on a Thurs night / Friday morning when I got work tomorrow and now I'm typing this wtf thing out.

 

[Stazbumpa]

....the same people that [20FTS]Luap works for , and they all stay up until silly o'clock in the morning when they have work in a few hours, typing nonsensical bollox into this story like the rest of us. However they also realise the comedy potential of this story, but sadly Staz hasn't and so wrote something that has nothing to do with the story and so was shot (bang!). It was the gunman on the grassy knoll, who turned out to be........

 

[old.Sokem]

...the guy who shot JFK, as the sound of gun fire echo'ed round the knoll, the assasin type bloke ran for his life to catch the nearby bus but missed it and had to wait half hr for another FUCKING BUS CAUSE THEY NEVER TURN UP ON TIME AND MAKE YOU LATE FOR EVERYTHING THEN TWO COME AT THE SAME TIME ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU WANT TO GET TO...

 

[old.Luap2]

...bed. It was way past his beddybize(?) time and Auntie Buffy will be worried. The bus arrived, collected him and drove off. Just as he sat down the driver switched on the PA mic and said "Oh sorry people I nearly forgot, there's a bomb on this bus and if I go any slower than 50mph it's going to...

 

[xenon2000]

...get launched directly at that fucking slow bitch in front of us, so we can go faster Unfortunately, The bus went below 50mph and the bomb blew up the car in front, and this car happened to belong to...

 

[Stazbumpa]

.....Paul Daniels, and so nobody cared. As the car exploded, a nearby petrol station DIDN'T explode and was perfectly safe due to a badly timed "there was no petrol in the filling station for it to explode" gag, which would have been funny about a fortnight ago. Bemused, the bus driver said.....

 

[old.Mr Niceguy]

...."Paul, if your such a good magician, why cant you pull a better Wig out of your hat?"

to which Paul Daniels said nothing, because he was dead.
He did however turn to to Debbie McGee to give her one last...