Bad taste The Bad Taste Joke Thread

[Billargh]

I can see a new conspiracy theory coming out about that now.

 

[Scouse]

JOKE thread, people

 

[Raven]

Welcome to Offtopic

 

[old.Tohtori]

JOKE thread, people

"If a catch-all thread starts to get ignored and people start to post their random thoughts in separate threads, like they used to, then win-win for the forum too "

 

[Scouse]

"If a catch-all thread starts to get ignored and people start to post their random thoughts in separate threads, like they used to, then win-win for the forum too "

Bait dangled, fish hooked.

The lesser spotted seel is the easiest to catch

 

[old.Tohtori]

"This isn't meant to work like this guys!" *spots that he's called on it* "Oh i meant to bait you lols!".

Yeah i invented that sh*t junior

 

[caLLous]

Damn straight you did, you do it in every other thread.

 

[Roo Stercogburn]

All is well with the world again. Back to the jokes fucknuggets or gtfo

Actually, quick trawl of Sickopaedia...

I was given some financial good news today.
The child I've been sponsoring in Africa has been mauled to death by a lion.

The iPhone 5c
Named after the hourly pay rate of its assemblers.

 

[Hawkwind]

Following the 2011 Fukushima Daiichi nuclear disaster in Japan,

The level of radiation contamination in humans is only now being fully realised.

It's been confirmed that babies are now being born with very small penises,

yellowing of the skin, and their eyes barely open.

 

[Hawkwind]

Another one from sico...

Australia has just had a general election. The main concern is about the number of illegal immigrants there are.

Government sources suggest around 60,000.

Aboriginal sources say it's more like twenty two and a half million of the cunts

 

[Hawkwind]

Sicko....

"Dad," said my teenage son, "I'm going to a party tonight."
"Hmm," I said, "will you be drinking alcohol?"
"No," he said.
"Will you be taking drugs?"
"No, certainly not!"
"Will you be taking part in any gang bangs or rapes?"
"No, I will not!"
"Then," I said, puzzled, "then why the fuck do you want to go to the party?"

_______________________________________________________________

An African lady called Betty came into my restaurant and asked "Is there any chicken on the menu?"
I replied "No black Betty, it's ham or lamb."

_______________________________________________________________

A blonde woman goes to the hospital.
"What seems to be the problem?" asked the Doctor.
"Something is terribly wrong, I keep finding postage stamps from Costa Rica in my vagina."

The Doctor had a look, chuckled, and said, "Those aren't postage stamps my dear,
they're the stickers off the bananas"

 

[Madmaxx]

Seems Paul Walker went from Fast and Furious to Gone In 60 Seconds

 

[Madmaxx]

Paul Walker has died in a car crash, leaving a void in his 14 year old daughters life.

Ian Watkins believes he can fill the gap.

 

[Madmaxx]

Paul Walker is set to play yet another roll in the upcoming edition of the Fast & Furious franchise titled, '2 Fast, 2 Fatalities'.

 

[Zarjazz]

I read that Paul Walker died at 40. I've seen the crash pictures, he was doing at least 90.

 

[Billargh]

Right now I'd have to agree with most women, Paul Walker is definitely hot.

 

[caLLous]

Oh, and I've got a corker ready for when Nelson Mandela shuffles off this mortal coil. It's in such bad taste I'm not even sure I could type it in here.

'mon then, no pressure or anything.

 

[Billargh]

So Nelson Mandela died at 95.

Credit to him, that's 5 mph faster than Paul Walker.

 

[fettoken]

Cccccccccombo!

 

[rynnor]

Nelson Mandela is sitting at home when the doorbell goes.

Theres a little Japanese guy at the door with a huge crate of car parts.

He holds up a clipboard and says 'you sign, you sign!'.

But Nelson explains that he never ordered any car parts.






And the guy looks at his clipboard and says "Isn't this Nissan Main Dealer?".

 

[caLLous]

That joke isn't bad taste, it's just bad.

 

[rynnor]

That joke isn't bad taste, it's just bad.

I was trying to remember the original but that was the gist of it - it works better when said than read

 

[Bahumat]

Thousands are said to be gathering outside Nelson Mandela's house. ...... ....... Del Boy and Rodney have told them to Fuck off

 

[georgie]

K, that's one's gone way over my head...

 

[caLLous]

K, that's one's gone way over my head...

The tower block they lived in was called Nelson Mandela House.

 

[Bodhi]

Seems to be a hell of a lot of news coverage just because the dude from Uncle Ben's rice has died....

 

[Billargh]

Obligatory 'I didn't realise Morgan Freeman done Uncle Ben's rice' comment.

 

[TdC]

My brother emails again:

My wife was in the bathroom for hours getting ready to go out when finally the door swung open and she said, "Honestly , do I look fat in this". I replied, " Yes love, but to be fair, it's only a small bathroom.

 

[Hawkwind]

He's gonna pay for that, believe me, I've been there. May take a while but it will come up again.

 

[Raven]

A Romanian arrives in London as a new immigrant to the United Kingdom. He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr. Englishman, for letting me come into this country, giving me housing, Income Support, free medical care, and a free education!" The passer by says, "You are mistaken, I am Egyptian." The man goes on and encounters another passer by. "Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in England." The person says, "I not English, I am Pakistani." The new arrival walks farther, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand, and says, "Thank you for wonderful country England!" That person puts up his hand and says, "I am from Afghanistan. I am not British." He finally sees a nice lady and asks, "Are you an Englishwoman?" She says, "No, I am from Africa." Puzzled, he asks her, "Where are all the English?" The African lady checks her watch and says, "Probably at work."