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Paul B
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- #2
WARNING: This product warps space and time in its vicinity.
WARNING: This product attracts every other piece of matter in the Universe, including the products of other manufacturers, with a force proportional to the product of the masses and inversely proportional to the distance between them.
CAUTION: The mass of this product contains the energy equivalent of 85 million tons of TNT per net ounce of weight.
HEALTH WARNING: Care should be taken when lifting this product, since its mass, and thus its weight, is dependent on its velocity relative to the user.
ADVISORY: There is an extremely small but nonzero chance that, through a process known as "tunneling," this product may spontaneously disappear from its present location and reappear at any random place in the universe, including your neighbor's domicile. The manufacturer will not be responsible for any damages or inconvenience that may result.
COMPONENT EQUIVALENCY NOTICE: The subatomic particles(electrons, protons, etc.) comprising this product are exactly the same in every measurable respect as those used in the products ofother manufacturers, and no claim to the contrary may legitimatelybe expressed or implied.
CONSUMER NOTICE: Because of the "Uncertainty Principle," it is impossible for the consumer to find out at the same time both precisely where this product is and how fast it is moving.
NOTE: The most fundamental particles in this product are held together by a "gluing" force about which little is currently known and whose adhesive power cannot therefore be permanently guaranteed.
ATTENTION: Despite any other listing of product contents found hereon, the consumer is advised that, in actuality, this product consists of 99.999999999999% empty space.
HANDLE WITH EXTREME CARE: This product contains minute electrically charged particles moving at velocities in excess of five hundred million miles her hour.
READ THIS BEFORE OPENING PACKAGE: According to certain suggested versions of a grand unified theory, the primary particles constituting this product may decay to nothingness within the next four hundred million years.
PUBLIC NOTICE AS REQUIRED BY LAW: Any use of this product, in any manner whatsoever, will increase the amount of disorder in the universe. Although no liability is implied herein, the consumer is warned that this process will ultimately lead to the heat death of the universe.
NEW GRAND UNIFIED THEORY DISCLAIMER: The manufacturer may technically be entitled to claim that this product is ten-dimensional legal rights above and beyond those applicable to three-dimensional objects, since the seven new dimensions are" rolled up" into such a small area that they cannot be detected.
IMPORTANT NOTICE TO PURCHASERS: The entire physical universe, including this product, may one day collapse back into an infinitesimally small space. Should another universe subsequently emerge, the existence of this product in that universe cannot be guaranteed.
PLEASE NOTE: Some quantum physics theories suggest that when the consumer is not directly observing this product, it may cease to exist or will exist only in a vague and undetermined state.
THIS IS A 100% MATTER PRODUCT: In the unlikely event that this merchandise should contact antimatter in any form, a catastrophic explosion will result.
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Paul B
paul@pbrowning.freeserve.co.uk
[This message has been edited by Paul B (edited 17 June 1999).]
WARNING: This product attracts every other piece of matter in the Universe, including the products of other manufacturers, with a force proportional to the product of the masses and inversely proportional to the distance between them.
CAUTION: The mass of this product contains the energy equivalent of 85 million tons of TNT per net ounce of weight.
HEALTH WARNING: Care should be taken when lifting this product, since its mass, and thus its weight, is dependent on its velocity relative to the user.
ADVISORY: There is an extremely small but nonzero chance that, through a process known as "tunneling," this product may spontaneously disappear from its present location and reappear at any random place in the universe, including your neighbor's domicile. The manufacturer will not be responsible for any damages or inconvenience that may result.
COMPONENT EQUIVALENCY NOTICE: The subatomic particles(electrons, protons, etc.) comprising this product are exactly the same in every measurable respect as those used in the products ofother manufacturers, and no claim to the contrary may legitimatelybe expressed or implied.
CONSUMER NOTICE: Because of the "Uncertainty Principle," it is impossible for the consumer to find out at the same time both precisely where this product is and how fast it is moving.
NOTE: The most fundamental particles in this product are held together by a "gluing" force about which little is currently known and whose adhesive power cannot therefore be permanently guaranteed.
ATTENTION: Despite any other listing of product contents found hereon, the consumer is advised that, in actuality, this product consists of 99.999999999999% empty space.
HANDLE WITH EXTREME CARE: This product contains minute electrically charged particles moving at velocities in excess of five hundred million miles her hour.
READ THIS BEFORE OPENING PACKAGE: According to certain suggested versions of a grand unified theory, the primary particles constituting this product may decay to nothingness within the next four hundred million years.
PUBLIC NOTICE AS REQUIRED BY LAW: Any use of this product, in any manner whatsoever, will increase the amount of disorder in the universe. Although no liability is implied herein, the consumer is warned that this process will ultimately lead to the heat death of the universe.
NEW GRAND UNIFIED THEORY DISCLAIMER: The manufacturer may technically be entitled to claim that this product is ten-dimensional legal rights above and beyond those applicable to three-dimensional objects, since the seven new dimensions are" rolled up" into such a small area that they cannot be detected.
IMPORTANT NOTICE TO PURCHASERS: The entire physical universe, including this product, may one day collapse back into an infinitesimally small space. Should another universe subsequently emerge, the existence of this product in that universe cannot be guaranteed.
PLEASE NOTE: Some quantum physics theories suggest that when the consumer is not directly observing this product, it may cease to exist or will exist only in a vague and undetermined state.
THIS IS A 100% MATTER PRODUCT: In the unlikely event that this merchandise should contact antimatter in any form, a catastrophic explosion will result.
------------------
Paul B
paul@pbrowning.freeserve.co.uk
[This message has been edited by Paul B (edited 17 June 1999).]
M
Mr B
Guest
- Thread starter
- #3
L
Lynchet
Guest
- Thread starter
- #4
Did work really get THAT boring ?
F
frankie
Guest
- Thread starter
- #5
bloody hell, thers more good content on this page than on tv ( except tvx
)
ill go now
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members.xoom.com/alfa1000
=DI=DR_FRANKENSTIEN
ill go now
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members.xoom.com/alfa1000
=DI=DR_FRANKENSTIEN
P
Paul B
Guest
- Thread starter
- #6
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Did work really get THAT boring ? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
How did you guess
?
(btw Ed miss out the '-' for the smilies)
Anyway what's all this about C64's being better than Speccys....
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Paul B
paul@pbrowning.freeserve.co.uk
[This message has been edited by Paul B (edited 21 June 1999).]
How did you guess
(btw Ed miss out the '-' for the smilies)
Anyway what's all this about C64's being better than Speccys....
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Paul B
paul@pbrowning.freeserve.co.uk
[This message has been edited by Paul B (edited 21 June 1999).]
P
Paul B
Guest
- Thread starter
- #7
Just to try and keep this thread active
TQM Questionnaire - from God
God would like to thank you for your belief and patronage. In order to
better serve your needs, He asks that you take a few moments to
answer the following questions.
Please keep in mind that your responses will be kept completely
confidential, and that you need not disclose your name or address
unless you prefer a direct response to comments or suggestions. Also be
aware that He will know exactly who sent this and reserves the right
to thunderbolt individuals who are excessively critical. Please do not let
that minor matter influence your answers.
1. How did you find out about God?
__ Newspaper __ Other Book
__ Television __ Divine Inspiration
__ Word of mouth __ Near Death Experience
__ Bible __ Other
__ Torah (specify): _____________
2. Are you currently using any other source of inspiration in addition
to God? Please check all that apply.
__ Tarot __ Lottery
__ Horoscope __ Television
__ Fortune cookies __ Ann Landers
__ Self-help books __ Sex
__ Biorythms __ Alcohol or drugs
__ Mantras __ Other: _____________________
__ Insurance policies __ None
3. God employs a limited degree of Divine Intervention to preserve the
balanced level of felt presence and blind faith. Which would you
prefer (circle one)?
a. More Divine Intervention
b. Less Divine Intervention
c. Current level of Divine Intervention is just right
d. Don't know
4. God also attempts to maintain a balanced level of disasters and
miracles. Please rate on a scale of 1 - 5 his handling of the
following (1=unsatisfactory, 5=excellent):
a. Disasters (flood, famine,
earthquake, war) 1 2 3 4 5
b. Miracles (rescues, spontaneous
remission of disease, sports
upsets) 1 2 3 4 5
5. Do you have any additional comments or suggestions for improving
the quality of God's services? (Attach an additional sheet if
necessary): _________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
Thank you!
[This message has been edited by Paul B (edited 21 June 1999).]
TQM Questionnaire - from God
God would like to thank you for your belief and patronage. In order to
better serve your needs, He asks that you take a few moments to
answer the following questions.
Please keep in mind that your responses will be kept completely
confidential, and that you need not disclose your name or address
unless you prefer a direct response to comments or suggestions. Also be
aware that He will know exactly who sent this and reserves the right
to thunderbolt individuals who are excessively critical. Please do not let
that minor matter influence your answers.
1. How did you find out about God?
__ Newspaper __ Other Book
__ Television __ Divine Inspiration
__ Word of mouth __ Near Death Experience
__ Bible __ Other
__ Torah (specify): _____________
2. Are you currently using any other source of inspiration in addition
to God? Please check all that apply.
__ Tarot __ Lottery
__ Horoscope __ Television
__ Fortune cookies __ Ann Landers
__ Self-help books __ Sex
__ Biorythms __ Alcohol or drugs
__ Mantras __ Other: _____________________
__ Insurance policies __ None
3. God employs a limited degree of Divine Intervention to preserve the
balanced level of felt presence and blind faith. Which would you
prefer (circle one)?
a. More Divine Intervention
b. Less Divine Intervention
c. Current level of Divine Intervention is just right
d. Don't know
4. God also attempts to maintain a balanced level of disasters and
miracles. Please rate on a scale of 1 - 5 his handling of the
following (1=unsatisfactory, 5=excellent):
a. Disasters (flood, famine,
earthquake, war) 1 2 3 4 5
b. Miracles (rescues, spontaneous
remission of disease, sports
upsets) 1 2 3 4 5
5. Do you have any additional comments or suggestions for improving
the quality of God's services? (Attach an additional sheet if
necessary): _________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
Thank you!
[This message has been edited by Paul B (edited 21 June 1999).]
D
Delboy
Guest
- Thread starter
- #8
This wouldn't have anything to do with MS Products and IE4 in particular would it?
L
Lynchet
Guest
- Thread starter
- #9
You weren't a speccy man where you Paul ?
Rubber Keys of Doom
Anyway after the latest disaster attributed to an act of God -- he has made a statement:
"I'm sure that in the fullness of time the inquiry will clear me and all members of God Plc from any blame."
PS You coming down the boozer soon Paul
Rubber Keys of Doom
Anyway after the latest disaster attributed to an act of God -- he has made a statement:
"I'm sure that in the fullness of time the inquiry will clear me and all members of God Plc from any blame."
PS You coming down the boozer soon Paul
P
Paul B
Guest
- Thread starter
- #10
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>You weren't a speccy man where you Paul ?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Course I was. But as I had one of the very first Spectrum+'s to make it down to Cornwall I missed all the rubber keyboard fun.
Ah those were the days. When all you neaded to copy a game was two tape recorders pointed at each other
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>You coming down the boozer soon Paul <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Oh I should think so. Especially now my CD-RW is feeling much better
. Give me a call and we'll sort out when.
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Paul B
paul@pbrowning.freeserve.co.uk
[This message has been edited by Paul B (edited 25 June 1999).]
Course I was. But as I had one of the very first Spectrum+'s to make it down to Cornwall I missed all the rubber keyboard fun.
Ah those were the days. When all you neaded to copy a game was two tape recorders pointed at each other
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>You coming down the boozer soon Paul <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Oh I should think so. Especially now my CD-RW is feeling much better
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Paul B
paul@pbrowning.freeserve.co.uk
[This message has been edited by Paul B (edited 25 June 1999).]
L
Lynchet
Guest
- Thread starter
- #11
Copying games !!!
Well I never did - I never knew it was even possible until now, the things some people will stoop to
Whoops sorry don't know what came over me then , it must have something to do with the implant that nice Mr Gates made me have
Well I never did - I never knew it was even possible until now, the things some people will stoop to
Whoops sorry don't know what came over me then , it must have something to do with the implant that nice Mr Gates made me have