SPAM random annoying things

[DaGaffer]

I can't stop shitting. Not diahorrea (or however you spell it). Just poo. Fucking tonnes of it. Physics-defying amounts. More is coming out than went in. Like five times a day

IBS?

 

[caLLous]

I know it's been less than an hour but I'm disappointed that nobody has made a "full of shit" joke yet.

 

[Scouse]

IBS?

Nah. I thimk I picked up a bug off a mate this weekend. He was knocked for six, but I'm on my TOGAF course so the fact that I have exams to pass and the knowledge that I'm paying is ensuring my symptoms aren't showing any higher than my rectum. Poo number 3 today just finished!

 

[Moriath]

Lots of imodium

 

[~Yuckfou~]

The fact that a puddle of water has appeared in the middle of the living room carpet. :/

Fuck!

 

[sayward]

The fact that a puddle of water has appeared in the middle of the living room carpet. :/

Fuck!

water is the worst when you can't find where it is coming from.

 

[~Yuckfou~]

Turns out it was the dishwasher!
We are in a fairly new house with bitumen floors. The dishwasher has pissed gallons of water out and it has run under the units, under the walls and into the living room under the carpet which is 50% pissed wet through.
Shit, but better than a pipe somewhere in a wall. Hopefully just a hose, but it's integrated and will be a pain to find out. That's my afternoon taken care of :/

 

[Tom]

Your household insurance will pay for all of that.

 

[~Yuckfou~]

Yes it should.
However, pulled out the dishwasher to run to see where the leak is. Bloody thing isn't leaking now. Had to undo/redo the feed and waste so don't know if one of them had worked lose. Hope it is the dishwasher because otherwise holes will need to be dug in walls to find the leak :/

 

[Tom]

Check it isn't overflowing. The pipework may be sound but there's a valve on the inside, they occasionally stick.

 

[~Yuckfou~]

I've cracked it!
There was a split in the waste pipe. When I did the test the pipe was facing a slightly different way, effectively sealing the split. When I moved the pipe to move the machine out of the way the bit of waste water that was in there pissed out. Made up, fairly cheap repair. The carpet will dry out in a couple of days. It's getting cleaned soon anyway.

 

[Moriath]

Eww waste water thoroughout your house. Insurance will rip it all up and give you new even kitchen if they have to dry the walls and run de humidifiers to get rid of all the water. Make sure you open your windows lots or you could get mould and shit

 

[Gwadien]

I've cracked it!
There was a split in the waste pipe. When I did the test the pipe was facing a slightly different way, effectively sealing the split. When I moved the pipe to move the machine out of the way the bit of waste water that was in there pissed out. Made up, fairly cheap repair. The carpet will dry out in a couple of days. It's getting cleaned soon anyway.

Quick! Throw the TV in the water, your PC, infact, throw your mrs in too, claim as much as you can!

 

[Tom]

I've cracked it!
There was a split in the waste pipe. When I did the test the pipe was facing a slightly different way, effectively sealing the split. When I moved the pipe to move the machine out of the way the bit of waste water that was in there pissed out. Made up, fairly cheap repair. The carpet will dry out in a couple of days. It's getting cleaned soon anyway.

I'd get the carpet cleaned now. Otherwise you may well find it stinks for good.

If it were me, I'd claim on the insurance - that's what it's there for.

 

[~Yuckfou~]

Well the replacement hose I've ordered for £15, inc delivery tomorrow. The carpet is drying nicely and isn't stained or stinky. About 2m sq got wet and as soon as I spotted it I soaked up the water and dried out as much as I could, there is zero damage in the kitchen as it's tiled. I can claim on the insurance but it will put our premium up next year and then there's the forms etc.
I'm decorating the whole house next year and all the carpets are getting cleaned so fuck it.

 

[caLLous]

Ryanair now penalise you for trying to check in online early. It always used to be the case that you could check in and print your boarding pass if your flight was within 14 days but now they are trying to force me to choose a seat (and pay € 6 for the privilege) if I check in before the 24th for a flight on the 2nd (whereafter it is free). I suppose they know how long an average break is and are trying to take advantage of those who will just do it all before leaving home for peace of mind. Sneaky fuckers. I don't mind them throwing all the unselectable shit at you during the booking process but this is frankly gay.

 

[TdC]

While sorting through my backlog of papers, I came to the conclusion that I had possibly accidentally thrown away my degree document. After swearing for 20 minutes I found it again, all neatly filed away.

 

[DaGaffer]

While sorting through my backlog of papers, I came to the conclusion that I had possibly accidentally thrown away my degree document. After swearing for 20 minutes I found it again, all neatly filed away.

I've been asked for proof of my qualifications once in...shit, 23 years since I finished my Masters, and that was for my current job. I was actually shocked when they asked.

 

[Lethul]

The fact that a puddle of water has appeared in the middle of the living room carpet. :/

Fuck!

 

[~Yuckfou~]

That would have been like sticking my finger in a dyke. (not saying I wouldn't fnarr)

 

[Lethul]

That would have been like sticking my finger in a dyke. (not saying I wouldn't fnarr)

Hmm, I fail to understand what you mean

 

[Raven]

Dike = muff diver

 

[Gwadien]

Muff diver = a homosexual female.

Isn't it dyke not dike?

 

[~Yuckfou~]

I've cracked it!
There was a split in the waste pipe. When I did the test the pipe was facing a slightly different way, effectively sealing the split. When I moved the pipe to move the machine out of the way the bit of waste water that was in there pissed out. Made up, fairly cheap repair. The carpet will dry out in a couple of days. It's getting cleaned soon anyway.

Fixed.
Ordered manufacturer part from here yesterday and arrived today, chose a DPD pickup point as I was out (Halfords) . Good service and part in stock.

 

[Ormorof]

the point of those plastic things isnt to stop flooding but to push the water infront of the machine so you can spot it before it ends up under your carpet

 

[~Yuckfou~]

the point of those plastic things isnt to stop flooding but to push the water infront of the machine so you can spot it before it ends up under your carpet

Understood but it's an integrated dishwasher so wouldn't work.

 

[Lethul]

Dike = muff diver

That I understand, its the the entire sentence

 

[Hawkwind]

I've been asked for proof of my qualifications once in...shit, 23 years since I finished my Masters, and that was for my current job. I was actually shocked when they asked.

Same, never actually been asked for them by a company. I had to get attested copies made for the original UAE VISA as there are minimum requirements for certain jobs.

 

[~Yuckfou~]

Sitting in a hospice with Mrs Yuck, next to an old lady who is dieing. Knowing that Mrs Yuck is going to be a complete fucking mess at some point very soon.

 

[TdC]

good luck Mr Yuck. not the most ideal of situations