SPAM random annoying things

[old.user4556]

Having a nice night out with my girlfriend and then in the 10 minutes between getting a drink and coming to bed she's magically conjured up a reason to be outrageously pissed off at me.

You have a girlfriend? You cheating bitch!

*puts Leggy on ignore*

 

[old.user4556]

Pissing in the wardrobe will do that.

I always thought that was a myth, but no; I've been told this has happened by mate's girlfriends. My favourite one was my best mate pissing all over the shoe rack.

Which had all her shoes on it.

 

[Raven]

That puts an end to pretending to like them...

I pissed in the washbasket once and down the stairs.

 

[fettoken]

What's with you U.K peeps and pissing all over the place? Is it what you call shenanigans?

 

[DaGaffer]

I always thought that was a myth, but no; I've been told this has happened by mate's girlfriends. My favourite one was my best mate pissing all over the shoe rack.

Which had all her shoes on it.

Back in the day I had a mate who was a serial offender, so much so that his girlfriend put a lock on the wardrobe door. So he pissed on the TV instead.

 

[Ormorof]

working with Google APIs

half use gradle and the other half maven, not to mention their schizo behaviour when it comes to Android (half the documentation is for Eclipse the other for Android studio)

 

[old.Tohtori]

Having a nice night out with my girlfriend and then in the 10 minutes between getting a drink and coming to bed she's magically conjured up a reason to be outrageously pissed off at me.

She got pissed off at you during the night out, for some insignificant reason most likely, and held it in until you got nice and comfortable so the annoyance of it would reach peek levels.

 

[Overdriven]

Teedles would probably be glad to know that I no longer chug from the milk bottle and put it back. Stopped doing that last year cause people (Well, the GF) complained that it was gross.

Sigh.

 

[fettoken]

Yeah they do tend to do that, then you should counter with "chugging on my dick isn't gross then?". Or, wait, don't go thee.

 

[TdC]

I swear, an ex of mine would wait until my breathing was in "almost alseep" rythem and then starte the "I need to talk to you" talks. Once she started an argument with me about the fact she disliked how easily I fell asleep when I was trying to fall asleep.

 

[fettoken]

Mine did that as well; you're beat after a long day at work and what not, finally getting some sleep and she's bringing some shit up.

 

[TdC]

Speaking of girls doing odd things. in the past two weeks, no less than three girls have given me fairly accurate descriptions of their pooping habits. Yes ladies, do tell me more about how ridiculously constipated you are, or your recent battle with some noro-virus. I'm totes interested in that. Really.

 

[caLLous]

Stop drooling while they're telling you about it and they might take the hint.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Lies, like three girls would ever talk to @TdC except to remind him of the restraining order

 

[TdC]

I admit that one of them was cutting my hair (the noro-virus one).

 

[Edmond]

Speaking of girls doing odd things. in the past two weeks, no less than three girls have given me fairly accurate descriptions of their pooping habits. Yes ladies, do tell me more about how ridiculously constipated you are, or your recent battle with some noro-virus. I'm totes interested in that. Really.

They see you as their gay friend who they can tell all their problems to, either that or you are sooooo deep in the friendzone, you're never getting out

 

[TdC]

 

[Zarjazz]

Once she started an argument with me about the fact she disliked how easily I fell asleep when I was trying to fall asleep.

How about the times they get pissed off for something you did in their dreams! Then when you try to apply logic to say "how can you be mad, it never happened" it only annoys them more.

 

[Edmond]

I was driving the her car one time and the clutch pedal started squeaking when I depressed it, she started saying I had burnt her clutch out and told me to pull over so she could drive.

I stopped the car got out and walked home, she then drove along side me at 3 mph telling to get in the car

 

[Edmond]

Another one was when she started moaning at me in Asda, we had a full trolly and she walked out of the store got in her car and drove off. Tis was before the days of mobile phones, so I had to leave the trolly and walk the 6 miles home

 

[Moriath]

Another one was when she started moaning at me in Asda, we had a full trolly and she walked out of the store got in her car and drove off. Tis was before the days of mobile phones, so I had to leave the trolly and walk the 6 miles home

You still with her?

 

[Edmond]

You still with her?

God no, she actually put me off relationships

 

[TdC]

How about the times they get pissed off for something you did in their dreams! Then when you try to apply logic to say "how can you be mad, it never happened" it only annoys them more.

I never had a woman be angry with me for that....but it would explain a lot of unexpected lady-rage I had to deal with I did suspect a certain ex of deliberately provoking fights with me because she couldn't hack that our life at the time was fairly calm and uneventful. That was pretty annoying. In recent times I find myself wondering what the next lady will be like. Scary stuff given I'm currently a happy single guy! I've already had to discuss things with my banana plant 0_o

 

[Job]

I have come to the conclusion I might well be the worlds fussiest eater, here's a list if things I won't eat drink...ranging from dislike to instavomit.

blackpudding
sausages
liver
porkpies
marzipan
fried eggs
cheap steak pies
kidney
any non muscle organ really
beer...yup never touch the stuff
any almond based drink
those compressed ham slices in supermarkets
every single ready meal
brocolli
all fish except tuna
any meat in a restaurant that tells you where on the animal it came from
pate.... see liver
all rinds, fats, stringy bits
porridge...supervomit
stupid nutty .grain bread
Still working on more, the list get's longer every year.

 

[old.Tohtori]

God no, she actually put me off relationships

This. If you're "having trouble", just f*ck off The amount of sh*t people are willing to take for little to no reason for little to no reward is ridicilous.

Oh and @Job you're becoming a hippie vegetarian, diet of bacon and beer for a week, it'll hurt but you'll be fine in the end.

 

[DaGaffer]

How about the times they get pissed off for something you did in their dreams! Then when you try to apply logic to say "how can you be mad, it never happened" it only annoys them more.

I get this one alarmingly often

 

[Ormorof]

I miss black pudding cant get the real stuff in finland

 

[Raven]

I miss black pudding cant get the real stuff in finland

http://www.britishcornershop.co.uk/shop.asp?action=search

 

[Raven]

I like the one where you agree that you fucked something up and say sorry but she still wants to argue about it. The less you argue back the more pissed off she gets.

 

[TdC]

I have come to the conclusion I might well be the worlds fussiest eater, here's a list if things I won't eat drink...ranging from dislike to instavomit.

blackpudding
sausages
liver
porkpies
marzipan
fried eggs
cheap steak pies
kidney
any non muscle organ really
beer...yup never touch the stuff
any almond based drink
those compressed ham slices in supermarkets
every single ready meal
brocolli
all fish except tuna
any meat in a restaurant that tells you where on the animal it came from
pate.... see liver
all rinds, fats, stringy bits
porridge...supervomit
stupid nutty .grain bread
Still working on more, the list get's longer every year.

wow Job, you're missing out on some of the world's best foods. some crap too, but on the whole...just wow. pro-tip: never visit the UK, because their staple diet is mostly stuff you don't like.