SPAM random annoying things

[TdC]

wow that is a pretty cuntish move. dudes at my work would flip out and go full on newspaper frontpage killing spree if someone pulled that with them 0o

 

[caLLous]

They're resurfacing a pretty major road near me. I was sat about 10 cars back waiting patiently when someone crept up beside me with 2 wheels on the kerb. "Impatient cunt," thought I, because there was a junction about halfway up the queue and I assumed he was trying to get up ahead to turn off. No, the fucker then tried to cut back in front of everybody when the light went green.

Also, a website that lets you submit a "support ticket" (just call it a question ffs ) anonymously but then sends you an email when it's been answered, telling you you have to log in to see the response. HUH?

 

[old.user4556]

wow that is a pretty cuntish move. dudes at my work would flip out and go full on newspaper frontpage killing spree if someone pulled that with them 0o

They'll simply argue "What's the difference between them giving me the money to get five coffees, or them standing beside me and ordering the five coffees?" or "what's your problem? it's only coffee".

The problem is that the queue bottlenecks pretty quickly - one person should order one (or two at most) coffees, it's the pushy in crowd and the "FARQUHAR, TELL CRAWFORD IT'S MY TURN TO DO THE COFFEE RUN *snort*" wankers that cause the whole thing to grind to a halt. Getting coffee should be achievable within 20 minutes.

 

[TdC]

on topic: kids in first class public transportation. it's first class people, do try and keep your degenerate offspring under a modicum of control ffs

I swear if I'd belted one of the little fuckers, every single business type there would have backed me up. "no officer, the child ran right in to his fist: it really was an accident, I saw the whole thing!".

 

[caLLous]

First class = has money. It has nothing to do with actual class.

Notice I am sidestepping the issue of whether you were in first class or not.

 

[TdC]

I'm poor as fuck, me. Tis my rich-ass work that gives me the travel card

 

[rynnor]

on topic: kids in first class public transportation. it's first class people, do try and keep your degenerate offspring under a modicum of control ffs

I swear if I'd belted one of the little fuckers, every single business type there would have backed me up. "no officer, the child ran right in to his fist: it really was an accident, I saw the whole thing!".

Uh-oh - your becoming a grumpy old man like the rest of us is what it means :/

 

[Scouse]

Women

I've come back from a night out and a curry to find that my big red wizard's hat that I bought last xmas on a trip to Germany has a massive hole burned in it.

It's a felt thing that I'd done some work on to stiffen it back up, and the perfect place to hold it in shape whilst it solidified somewhat was upside down in a large bedside lampshade.

She came in, turned on the lamp (despite there being a perfectly good normal room light), didn't take the hat out and then walked out of the room. The fact that the whole house started to stink half an hour later didn't give her a clue. There's now a massive lightbulb-shaped hole in the hat and she could have started a nasty fire.

WTF is it with some animals that the absolute basics of sense just occasionally seem to pass them by

I loved that hat. The amount of free beer and female interest it's gotten me in the past 12 months

/cry

 

[Lethul]

Get a nose hair trimmer

I have one , but sometimes its just one or two long ones

 

[old.Tohtori]

Getting coffee should be achievable within 20 minutes.

*walks to coffee machine in kitchen*
*comes back 30 seconds later*

Tadaa!

The amount of free beer and female interest it's gotten me in the past 12 months

You still think this was an accident?

 

[Chilly]

Women

I've come back from a night out and a curry to find that my big red wizard's hat that I bought last xmas on a trip to Germany has a massive hole burned in it.

It's a felt thing that I'd done some work on to stiffen it back up, and the perfect place to hold it in shape whilst it solidified somewhat was upside down in a large bedside lampshade.

She came in, turned on the lamp (despite there being a perfectly good normal room light), didn't take the hat out and then walked out of the room. The fact that the whole house started to stink half an hour later didn't give her a clue. There's now a massive lightbulb-shaped hole in the hat and she could have started a nasty fire.

WTF is it with some animals that the absolute basics of sense just occasionally seem to pass them by

I loved that hat. The amount of free beer and female interest it's gotten me in the past 12 months

/cry

yeah, cos you didn't leave a dangerous fire hazard laying about or anything...surely turning on a light should be risk free by default. I don't check every light fitting/lamp before I turn em on. Not noticing when the house stinks = cunt, though.

 

[caLLous]

Yup Scouser you need to take some responsibility here old bean. I'm sure you could've found a potentially less flammable hanging-up place for your wizard's sleeve (I'm annoyed that you (probably deliberately) specified that it was red, there were some Klan gags to be had otherwise).

I got moaned at when a bedside light bulb blew up and I didn't unplug the lamp. The owner of the house went to change the bulb and got a shock, he says to me "the most important thing to do when a bulb blows up like that is to unplug a lamp", I retorted with "the most important thing to do when fixing something like that is to make sure it is unplugged before you begin." In the end we both accepted some of the responsibility.

 

[DaGaffer]

I'm fascinated to know on what occasions the dress code covers "red wizard's hat". I'm really fascinated to know how it gets you free beer, rather than say, mockery.

 

[DaGaffer]

Folk at my work who thinks it's acceptable to join their mates in the coffee queue in front of you, effectively skipping the already big queue.

I don't mean one person, I mean about four or five people who then proceed to order five venti cappuccinos with a shot of jizz which takes the coffee dude ten years to make.

Seriously. Cunt off. Join the queue like the rest of us. Absolute sheer ignorance, but to be expected from posh Edinburgh hipsteresque twats.

Do you tell them to piss off to the back of the queue? I would (and have, a couple of times recently). In fact its the only time I don't do the British thing and mutter about it without doing anything. Fuckers are stealing your time.

 

[DaGaffer]

on topic: kids in first class public transportation. it's first class people, do try and keep your degenerate offspring under a modicum of control ffs

I swear if I'd belted one of the little fuckers, every single business type there would have backed me up. "no officer, the child ran right in to his fist: it really was an accident, I saw the whole thing!".

Don't think its got anything to do with being in first class; there are parents who control their kids, and their are parents who think controlling their kids is a crowdsourcing exercise; at least until you actually try to control them, and then they have you arrested. Problem is the worst culprits are usually the middle-class Islington types who think we should all be enchanted by their little Cressidas and Olivers as they write over your shoes in felt tip.

I love my kids, but I don't expect others to feel the same way, which is also why I've embargoed flights over an hour until they're old enough to sit down and and be good for the whole journey, which means they're not going to Disneyland until they're 25...

 

[rynnor]

In the end we both accepted some of the responsibility.

Anyone who tries to fix a mains driven electrical device without confirming that its disconnected is an idiot - end of.

 

[TdC]

Don't think its got anything to do with being in first class; there are parents who control their kids, and their are parents who think controlling their kids is a crowdsourcing exercise; at least until you actually try to control them, and then they have you arrested. Problem is the worst culprits are usually the middle-class Islington types who think we should all be enchanted by their little Cressidas and Olivers as they write over your shoes in felt tip.

I love my kids, but I don't expect others to feel the same way, which is also why I've embargoed flights over an hour until they're old enough to sit down and and be good for the whole journey, which means they're not going to Disneyland until they're 25...

yesterday was a real low: three kids two boys one girl, one lady. lady looked like she was about a minute away from offing herself, boys were having a shouting match an the girl helping them out as she distracted the lady bysaying mummy-this, mummy-that every three seconds holding on to her attention.

my main annoyance is at myself for not moving to a quieter coupe, but at least I got to indulge in fantasies of brutally killing everyone around me

 

[DaGaffer]

yesterday was a real low: three kids two boys one girl, one lady. lady looked like she was about a minute away from offing herself, boys were having a shouting match an the girl helping them out as she distracted the lady bysaying mummy-this, mummy-that every three seconds holding on to her attention.

my main annoyance is at myself for not moving to a quieter coupe, but at least I got to indulge in fantasies of brutally killing everyone around me

Thing is, I can sympathise with any parent in that situation, especially when its one adult with three of them, but they have to at least try to keep control. Its the ones who basically just dump their kids on everybody else that piss me off. Of course things could have gone this way:

 

[TdC]

Dara's full of shit man. I'd have LOVED to help that lady out. Preferably with a ripped off chair leg and half a brick or so

 

[Scouse]

yeah, cos you didn't leave a dangerous fire hazard laying about or anything...surely turning on a light should be risk free by default. I don't check every light fitting/lamp before I turn em on. Not noticing when the house stinks = cunt, though.

It's a mahoosive red wizard hat. She'd have had to push her hand past the pointy bit to turn the lamp on.

She said she saw it but didn't put two and two together :|

 

[Raven]

Don't think its got anything to do with being in first class; there are parents who control their kids, and their are parents who think controlling their kids is a crowdsourcing exercise; at least until you actually try to control them, and then they have you arrested. Problem is the worst culprits are usually the middle-class Islington types who think we should all be enchanted by their little Cressidas and Olivers as they write over your shoes in felt tip.

I love my kids, but I don't expect others to feel the same way, which is also why I've embargoed flights over an hour until they're old enough to sit down and and be good for the whole journey, which means they're not going to Disneyland until they're 25...

I usually rather loudly why this little rodent isn't on a leash. Nothing upsets the middle class more than being vaguely accused of having turd like children.

 

[Scouse]

I'm fascinated to know on what occasions the dress code covers "red wizard's hat". I'm really fascinated to know how it gets you free beer, rather than say, mockery.

Dress code never says big red wizards hat.

I'm sure a mahoosive section of people mock, but I never worried about that. Paid 35 euros in Hannover on a Friday night from one of the German xmas markets when it was snowing, didn't take it off for the whole weekend. Every pub, bar and club I went in got me free beer and boggled pissed germans who wanted their photo taken in it - and germans being polite types they always paid for the priviledge

The british are more openly mocking and less forthcoming with free alcohol, tho it still happens

 

[Scouse]

I usually rather loudly why this little rodent isn't on a leash. Nothing upsets the middle class more than being vaguely accused of having turd like children.

Had a pop at a woman on a plane once. She was letting her kids run free, boy and girl. They'd already spilled a drink over a man behind me (who sat quiet and didn't say a thing) and managed to break the plastic off another empty seat by climbing all over it. The plane came in to land and when it came to a stop (and before the seatbelt lights were off) the boy came over and started to talk to another kid in the seat in front of me. He then punched said child who was sat quietly in the seat and who, quite rightly, punched him back.

Said kid went crying to mummy who got up ready to chastise the other kid's parent about keeping them under control.

I intervened and, calmly, pointed out her kids had been making a racket for the last 4 hours, had spilled a drink over another passenger, and that their son had, unprovoked, punched this kid in the face, who'd been sat quietly the whole journey. The woman proceeded to laugh, like it was no biggie, and asked me how she was supposed to stop them "being kids".

"Not letting the little shits unlock their fucking seatbelts would be a start" I said. Before leaving.

Look on her face was priceless. As was the applause from a couple of passengers


Yep. She was very middle-class. I think the swearing was what shocked her most.

 

[Raven]

Frankly, children should be tied up and ball gagged until at least 12 years old. Horrible creatures.

 

[CorNokZ]

Guy at work said he liked all three newer star wars episodes, altho Jar-Jar was a bit of a drag and that ep1 was the worst of the three. This is coming from a 45y old guy who claims to be a major fan of Star Wars and who watched ep4-6 on opening nights. I raged hard on the inside, nodded and kept my mouth shut

 

[rynnor]

Frankly, children should be tied up and ball gagged until at least 12 years old. Horrible creatures.

Maybe you should shuffle to the window and tap on it with your walking stick when you see young people outside your house grandad

 

[old.user4556]

my big red wizard's hat

Does she have a big red wizard's sleeve to match?

 

[Scouse]

Does she have a big red wizard's sleeve to match?

This is the scene in my house:

View: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLESwFqDm9k

 

[sayward]

yesterday was a real low: three kids two boys one girl, one lady. lady looked like she was about a minute away from offing herself, boys were having a shouting match an the girl helping them out as she distracted the lady bysaying mummy-this, mummy-that every three seconds holding on to her attention.

my main annoyance is at myself for not moving to a quieter coupe, but at least I got to indulge in fantasies of brutally killing everyone around me

Its half term! Round here the private schools get this week and next.

 

[sayward]

Was on Eurostar once, alone, and happened to have an empty seat next to me. Down the carriage was a French mother with three children. One older boy was being an absolute pain. after a while she walked down to me and asked could he sit in the spare seat next to me. She was absolutely astounded when I told her to buggar off and that if I'd wanted to sit next to a bloody child I'd've brought my own.