SPAM random annoying things

[TdC]

I don't think so, but then I never weighed my peen seperately from the rest of me so I don't really know

 

[Gwadien]

I don't think so, but then I never weighed my peen seperately from the rest of me so I don't really know

Really? - you've never detached it?

 

[TdC]

I have done many things to and with it, but separation from the main Teedlemass, never!

 

[Scouse]

Has your peen lost weight? Legit question.

No fat on your cock. In fact, losing weight and being fitter means it A) looks bigger and B) you can go harder longer

 

[TdC]

what he said tbh!

 

[soze]

Cunty farmers who decide rush hour is the best time to drive their cunting tractors 16 miles to to another field. Meaning rather than getting to work in plenty of time to get a drink ready for this 2 hour conference call I get to my desk as my phone is already ringing. Which means I am sitting here being talked at with a month dryer than a nuns one.

 

[caLLous]

Townie wankers who think farmers take to the roads to deliberately piss off other motorists.

 

[old.Tohtori]

What kind of national security call doesn't let you get a glass of water for 2 hours?

 

[soze]

What kind of national security call doesn't let you get a glass of water for 2 hours?

It will not be two hours it will be until someone shows up about nowish when I can send them to make me tea

Townie wankers who think farmers take to the roads to deliberately piss off other motorists.

Knowing a couple of farmers round here I know that is exactly why they drive the fuckers between 8 and 9. It is probably not all but I would bet money the cunt I was sat behind this morning was driving the tractor home for breakfast as the farm he pulled into had no fields.

 

[Edmond]

but you had time to post here and tell us all about it?

Hope you got your drink

 

[Lamp]

Nigel Slater's recipes
None of them appeal

Here's a twig I found in the garden. I added some left over snail entrails and garnished with some smelly French cheese and some Australian eagle fungus. Keep chilled in the fridge it should serve 5 people.
Yummy

 

[soze]

but you had time to post here and tell us all about it?

Hope you got your drink

It was two hours of me getting shouted at for something I did not understand. I had time to moan on here, read my emails, set up some new direct debits. I got a lot done. And on Monday i will get to waste another hour or two telling my boss who should have been on the call everything that they said.

 

[Edmond]

but did you get your drink?

 

[soze]

I did one of the girls got me two cups of tea during my call.

 

[Overdriven]

Guy I work with now use to be a Chef. Deep fried ice-cream?! WHY was I not told of this?! Also, mouse & ice-cream duo

 

[Shagrat]

I did one of the girls got me two cups of tea during my call.

two cups one girl?

can't see that catching on tbh.

 

[Syri]

two cups one girl?

can't see that catching on tbh.

Depends on the girl... and what she can do with those cups

 

[TdC]

mosquito bites on one's fingers! somehow they're more itchy than anywhere else

 

[CorNokZ]

mosquito bites on one's fingers! somehow they're more itchy than anywhere else

Ankles and back of the knee bro

 

[TdC]

I have a line of bites across my chiseled, rock-hard abs like I've been shot with a machine gun

 

[Chilly]

I have a line of bites across my chiseled, rock-hard abs like I've been shot with a machine gun

Nothing in that sentence is true.

 

[TdC]

MOSQUITO bites

 

[Lamp]

When someone - not yourself - farts and stinks the room out.

Always funny when you dropped it, not when you get hit by someone else's poisonous cloud

 

[Chilly]

When someone - not yourself - farts and stinks the room out.

Always funny when you dropped it, not when you get hit by someone else's poisonous cloud

My guffs today have been particularly nasty. Had a BBQ yesterday and had to drive myself home 45 miles in a sealed up stinkbox

 

[Cadelin]

mosquito bites on one's fingers! somehow they're more itchy than anywhere else

That's because you actually look like this:

(This is the sensory Homunculus which is a kind of density map of the sensory nerves in your body)

That's why they itch more.

 

[TdC]

cheers dude, that's awesome!

 

[Chilly]

Where is his giant bellend??

 

[Cadelin]

Where is his giant bellend??

Sorry, I got them the wrong way round. The one I showed was the motor Homcunlous (i.e., the nerves that tell our body what to do) The sensory one with the giant bellend is:

Spoiler

[\spoiler]

 

[Edmond]

Would still be difficult to have a wank

 

[Chilly]

Doesnt really look big enough? But I guess bellend is sensitive, but not in the way your lips or fingers are which need to be able to do very difficult work, rather than just smashing in your mum.