SPAM random annoying things

[Lamp]

1. Scrap Sunday trading laws ffs

2. The House of Lords should be elected.

3. Parking wardens should receive bonuses for using common sense, discretion, and compassion, and receive electrodes on their testicles for being cunts.

4. It should be a criminal offence for Dale Winton to appear on television.

5. Tattood fuckwits in vests walking around menacingly with those pitbull type dogs should be made to mate with their dogs.

6. Cyclists should have to wear high-vis jackets with a registration number on the back.

7. Scooters should be fucking banned for anyone under 25. Take a proper bike test and learn how to ride properly.

8. Stop closing police and fire stations ffs. Police stations should be open 24/7, and anyone who phones 999 because their cat's up a tree, or their pizza is 10 minutes late, or they can't find the remote control should be fined for the cost of deploying the emergency services and then egged in public for being twats.

9. Marmite should be a controlled substance.

 

[DaGaffer]

Grumpy old man alert!

 

[Lamp]

Does she rotted round the house on unfeasibly high heels bending down to dust right in front of you a lot?

You can either get one of those:

or one of these:

 

[Edmond]

6. Cyclists should have to wear high-vis jackets with a registration number on the back.

That is actually a good idea, for both parties concerned

 

[rynnor]

On cyclists I passed some charity race today with a good thousand plus cyclists (going the other way luckily though I did find a number coming head on in my lane who were overtaking).

I did feel sorry for the drivers going the other way though on a narrow winding country road without turnoffs - you could see them getting annoyed.

It takes a lot of concentration to drive in such a chaotic situation full of unpredictable cyclists.

Might be better if they flagged up such routes so drivers could avoid them?

 

[Raven]

Or provide the drivers with bullbars.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Incoming cyclist rage

 

[TdC]

It takes a lot of concentration to drive in such a chaotic situation full of unpredictable cyclists.

as opposed to driving through unpredictable motorists in traffic being piss-easy?

 

[DaGaffer]

as opposed to driving through unpredictable motorists in traffic being piss-easy?

Honestly? Yes.

 

[caLLous]

4. It should be a criminal offence for Dale Winton to appear on television.

I was not aware that this was still a thing.

 

[caLLous]

If there's going to be more than a certain number of cyclists in a pre-organised event surely they could either pick their route better or do some sort of rolling road closure for safety if nothing else?

 

[Scouse]

If there's going to be more than a certain number of cyclists in a pre-organised event surely they could either pick their route better or do some sort of rolling road closure for safety if nothing else?

Imagine the uproar amongst lazy, fat, unfit cunt motorists if "their" roads were closed for the use of fit, healthy, sporty happy people?

 

[fettoken]

Yeah. You are in a fucking car. You are sitting down. Most probably with air condition. Fuck off.

 

[DaGaffer]

Imagine the uproar amongst lazy, fat, unfit cunt motorists if "their" roads were closed for the use of fit, healthy, sporty happy people?

...who still have to obey the Highway Code, no matter how many smug points they get for their lycra fetish.

 

[soze]

as opposed to driving through unpredictable motorists in traffic being piss-easy?

Cyclists are a lot more stressful. When you want to turn left and are indicating yet the cyclist still pulls into the blind spot on your left. Or worse round here they have just done a load of road surface dressing. Which means the roads are covered in lose stones. So the cyclists are riding in one of the tyre tracks so they don't fall off. This would not a a problem except when despite seeing you coming along at 60 they still pull right onto the main road doing 10. You are then left with the choice of slamming your breaks on or swerving round if the other lane is empty. Normally the road is wide enough for moves like that to not be a problem but some of the local cyclists are not thinking about the car drivers at all and when it is them that pay the price that is foolish.

That said I fucking detest cunts on quad bikes more than anything. They ride around like motor bikes diving down the middle of traffic and are completely unpredictable.

 

[Vae]

Imagine the uproar amongst lazy, fat, unfit cunt motorists if "their" roads were closed for the use of fit, healthy, sporty happy people?

Which is happening next weekend in London. Seemingly half of west London is closed including a few major bridges. It's going to be a weekend of stay at home and don't bother trying to go anywhere.

 

[rynnor]

as opposed to driving through unpredictable motorists in traffic being piss-easy?

Of course because you don't get such numbers of cars concentrated in a single lane - you dont get cars 4 or 5 abreast in a single lane all doing different speeds with the faster ones shooting out into oncoming traffic to overtake.

I like to predict the possible actions of other road users around me but this becomes almost impossible with a mass of cyclists.

 

[Raven]

I like it when cyclists cross from the other side of the road in front of you forcing you to slam your breaks on to avoid spreading them over the tarmac, then somehow blame the car driver.


edit edit edit. Most cyclists are pretty switched on and try to avoid death by car but there are those that don't seem to give a shit. The difference between a bad driver and a bad cyclist is the cyclist is far more likely to be on someone's conscience for the rest of their lives.

...but you can't really get banned from riding a bike on the roads and any spastic can do it.

 

[TdC]

Honestly? Yes.

at the risk of being drawn in to Yet Another cyclist vs motorist discussion I call bullshit as a motorist and a cyclist I'd say there are about an equal number of death-wish toting, road-rule breaking idiots in both modes of transport. unless I grossly missunderestimate the British motorists and cyclists that is.

 

[rynnor]

at the risk of being drawn in to Yet Another cyclist vs motorist discussion I call bullshit as a motorist and a cyclist I'd say there are about an equal number of death-wish toting, road-rule breaking idiots in both modes of transport. unless I grossly missunderestimate the British motorists and cyclists that is.

I agree on the equal numbers of idiots thing - it's just the sheer number of cyclists you can squeeze into a lane that makes it harder in mass race type conditions - the odd cyclist is no harder than any other vehicle.

 

[DaGaffer]

at the risk of being drawn in to Yet Another cyclist vs motorist discussion I call bullshit as a motorist and a cyclist I'd say there are about an equal number of death-wish toting, road-rule breaking idiots in both modes of transport. unless I grossly missunderestimate the British motorists and cyclists that is.

That wasn't your argument though was it? You were comparing cars en masse to cyclists en masse. If cars are in heavy traffic there are usually fewer opportunities for major mayhem (junctions mainly) whereas a gaggle of cyclists seem to egg each other on in the lunacy stakes (strength in numbers?). I saw this in action a few weeks ago in Mayo; massive cycling event going on (we were driving against it); hundreds of bikes coming the other way, all good, but then they come to a parked car; do they filter to stay on their side of the road? Of course not, they cross the central divide as a group, carrying on racing each other. And this wasn't a one off, it was all over the place; wide roads, narrow roads, blind bends, crests. Absolutely fucking stupid. And you can't make an argument that motorists coming the other way should have expected them, because it was roads with dozens and dozens of side turns, someone could turn onto the main road and not be aware there was an event until cyclists were coming at them five abreast on the wrong side of the road.

However, getting back to your quote, sorry you're just wrong, and I've proved it with science and counting in the past. The Irish are lousy drivers, but they're worse cyclists when it come to routinely breaking the law. You usually see motorists here causing problems in two areas; roundabout etiquette and discipline, and box junctions (the Irish seem to have no clue what a box junction is for or how to use it). For cyclists, its traffic lights, wrong way up one way streets, ignoring any kind of pedestrian crossing etc. etc. In five years living in Dublin, I've yet to see a car run a red light; amber gamblers, certainly, but not an actual red. I see cyclists do that every single day. And I mean, every day.

I have no axe to grind about cyclists; I am a cyclist when I get the time, but to claim they don't break the law as much as motorists is laughable.

 

[TdC]

I make no such claim. Frankly I am appalled by a large scale event taking place on active roads. Were police involved to regulate traffic? I am aware of certain specialist races and niches of cyclists enjoying competing in traffic but frankly those guys are nutters and not to be compared with the average cyclist. IMO a cyclist ignoring road rules has just as little a leg to stand on as a car doing it, though the law may say different.

My personal most recent issue was on a cycle path with me vs moped. There were two cyclists side by side on the moped's side of the road (something that is allowed actually though iirc road rules state 2 is the limit). Road rules state that the moped has the obstacle on his side so there for I had right of way. Ofc it's "not cool" for a shaven headed tribal tattoo sporting teenage fuckwit to give ROW to anyone let alone slow down for any reason so he swerved around the cyclists, missed me by about a foot, and then cut off the cyclists again to get back on his side. Since he was presumably doing 50 kph (NL limit for legal mopeds) and I was doing approx 30 kph I rather not think what would have happened if he'd actually clipped me.

Anyway, I may be wrong, I fully admit this. Perhaps it's the Dutchman in me (easy Trem) that's blinded me to certain aspects of cycling that are more clear to others.

 

[DaGaffer]

I make no such claim. Frankly I am appalled by a large scale event taking place on active roads. Were police involved to regulate traffic? I am aware of certain specialist races and niches of cyclists enjoying competing in traffic but frankly those guys are nutters and not to be compared with the average cyclist. IMO a cyclist ignoring road rules has just as little a leg to stand on as a car doing it, though the law may say different.

There was signage in some of the villages we went through and I did see a couple of Garda vans in villages as well. This wasn't a niche event though; I'd say there were at least 1000 cyclists involved. There were waves and waves of them, obviously of different standards, and I'm pretty sure it wasn't a road race, even though there were plenty obviously acting as though it were.

I see cycle clubs out near us all the time 3-4-5 abreast across the road. Every Saturday and Sunday you'll seem them on the coast roads north of Dublin.

 

[soze]

They normally close the roads to traffic when they have a large cycle event. This has been the case in Colchester recently. There were signs up for weeks in advance and diversions in place for traffic.

The one thing that does cause a bit of chaos is when 20 or 30 plus cyclists ride the Wivenhoe trial as part of that seems to divert down the road I work on. So you normally get a few angry lorry drivers some delays while they amble down the road but they soon ride back onto the trial and off the roads.

My journey this morning had some Cycle related rage but it was a car driver who pissed me off. He was one of them pricks that starts overtaking but just sits off your wing. So when you come across a bike in the inside lane you can't move over at all and you end up slowing to 15 on a dual carriageway. If the drive had seen the bike and either sped up or backed off it would have been fine.

 

[Zarjazz]

Lamp makes a comment slating Marmite and not a single response. But mention two wheeled transport ...

 

[old.Tohtori]

I don't drive, or use a bike, clerly i win

 

[TdC]

There was signage in some of the villages we went through and I did see a couple of Garda vans in villages as well. This wasn't a niche event though; I'd say there were at least 1000 cyclists involved. There were waves and waves of them, obviously of different standards, and I'm pretty sure it wasn't a road race, even though there were plenty obviously acting as though it were.

tbh I'd say someone messed up. a thousand people on the road on bikes and there was no road closage or traffic guidance? idiocy tbh! here in the town I live there are two cycle races and iirc three foot races that come through every year. roads are not fully closed off but police put up a sort of rolling cordon where they close off intersections briefly while the races come through. I can understand that automobilists would have been severely frustrated with the unclosed roads and tonnes of people about, especially when people are taking the piss or breaking road rules. IMO it would be the same if the TT on the Isle of Man or Monaco GP, or in fact any kind of protest march or whatever was held with the roads open. I mean, surely people are not that stupid?

I see cycle clubs out near us all the time 3-4-5 abreast across the road. Every Saturday and Sunday you'll seem them on the coast roads north of Dublin.

here it's two abreast tops. then they snake out single file. adult cyclists consider it bad form to block cycle lanes with "wide" riding or middle of the lane traffic: people tend to stick close to the sides, but when I'm out on the road bike I notice that some (older) people move to the middle so well before I pass I bell them a couple times so they don't get a heart-attack when I come barreling past. When I bell people and they don't move I do tend to get kind of antsy though.

 

[Scouse]

lycra fetish.

To be fair - I'm with the motorists on cyclists who wear lycra. No no NO!

 

[Scouse]

I don't support any dick who flagrantly and unthinkingly breaks the highway code. However:

I've yet to see a car run a red light; amber gamblers, certainly, but not an actual red. I see cyclists do that every single day. And I mean, every day.

It's just not that big a deal on a bike.

I approach red lights, say at a crossroads, and stop. If there's no cars coming in either direction (a fact I can verify as accurately as a pedestrian - because on my bike I effectively am one - just a fast one) then I cross. I'd never dream of doing that in a car.

Why?

- Because I want to get out of the fucking way of cars. Pulling off at the same time as cars when the lights go green is dangerous.

Motorists want to go fast off the lights - faster than I can on my bike. They're not prepared to wait safely and/or give me the room I need - especially when most lights are "tight" areas with pedestrian islands taking up a lot of space. So rather than get squeezed by cars (and I mean squeezed - often a couple of inches or less from my handlebars to their wing mirrors) - I get out of their fucking way. Safely.

Am I breaking the law? Yes.

Am I acting correctly, and safely? Hell yes. And I'm far out of the way when the lights go green - and motorists can pull away from the lights without even having to think about me.

 

[soze]

What you describe would not bother me. It is when the cyclist comes up to the crossroads at a red and turns left without stopping. Meaning the car that was going straight over on a green then has to slow right down to fall in behind the bike as there is not room for him to over take. I am not saying that is every bike rider it is not even the majority but it is annoying when it happens.