SPAM random annoying things

[TdC]

dude. dude

 

[megadave]

Charged into the toilet after getting home to unleash a golden stream, mid way through and my belt suddenly pings across through the stream and whacks my bell-end. The humanity

 

[Overdriven]

Monday: House mate 1 gets sick. Vomiting.
Tuesday: House mate 2, same. I proceed to hide upstairs (Oh how ignorant of I)
Wednesday: Throw up twice in the morning, YOLO, throw up again in the afternoon (Get sent home from work)
Thursday: I don't think I left the bathroom, but I managed to get food down me.
Friday: (8am) Sneeze + throw up over myself (Rather that than shit myself). (8:30am) Shits start. (Now) Yeah, fuck off.

 

[Chilly]

Friday: (8am) Sneeze + throw up over myself

Sorry, but lol.

 

[Dudley52]

When you cut a nectarine but it won't separate from the stone.

 

[Shagrat]

When you cut a nectarine but it won't separate from the stone.

you cut your own nectarine's? peasant!

 

[old.Tohtori]

Bah, can't undo rating, meant to click funny. Sorry Shaggy

EDIT: Ah there we go.

 

[sayward]

Thank God you can't catch anything from FH!

 

[Overdriven]

Threatened to lick my friends and give it to them. Unsure if they sounded scared or aroused at the thought.

 

[Aoami]

scared because theyre aroused?

 

[DaGaffer]

Late onset hangovers. Had three hours sleep after my stag night, woke up early, felt fine, flew home and then suddenly start to feel terrible when we landed at Dublin Airport. Have felt rotten for the rest of the day. I was obviously still a bit pissed when I woke up I think.

 

[caLLous]

Is there a wedding in the air that you've not told anybody about?

 

[MYstIC G]

Is there a wedding in the air that you've not told anybody about?

If there is, that possibly makes two of us...

 

[TdC]

this is why we never get to go anywere nice

 

[old.Tohtori]

4ish year old kid crying in bus today, wouldn't stop, until his dad put guns n' roses sweet child o' mine on his phone.

Kid quiet, humanity faith restored

 

[Zarjazz]

People who use twitter speak in emails

@irritating #annoyed

 

[CorNokZ]

iTunes. I've probably ranted about this before, but it really gets to me. I avoid it at any cost. But then today my gf had purchased an album on her Mac and wanted it on her lovely iPhone.. You can imagine the first thing that happened, I'm sure? "Babyyyy?? Can you help me please?" she yelled from the bedroom while I was doing the dishes(wtf!?). Apparently her iTunes library on her phone is sync'd with my computer, because that is where all the music is, from when I had an iPhone. Bla bla bla, long story short; I can't get the album down on her phone without doing one of the following:

1) First delete all of her music(2000+ tracks), put down the SIX(!!!) new songs and then put the 2000+ tracks back on her phone
2) Pay for the six songs on my computer again and from there put them on her phone

It hurts to say, but I like the iPhone. It is idiot proof. Even come to like her MacBook Pro. But iTunes can burn in hell

 

[Scouse]

 

[Chilly]

Ah, proud to be British Gotta love the hypocrisy of the top politicians. They have the power to, in one go, stop this in most of the main places, but choose not to for fear of annoying a few bazillionaires.

 

[Ormorof]

you mean their relatives?

 

[DaGaffer]

Ah, proud to be British Gotta love the hypocrisy of the top politicians. They have the power to, in one go, stop this in most of the main places, but choose not to for fear of annoying a few bazillionaires.

Actually I don't think it would be that easy. Most of those Crown Dependencies would dump the UK in a heartbeat if we threatened their incomes.

 

[Chilly]

Meh. Let them leave, then refuse to sign any visa treaties. All the poor rich boys won't be able to have the best of London and the Caribbean.

 

[DaGaffer]

Meh. Let them leave, then refuse to sign any visa treaties. All the poor rich boys won't be able to have the best of London and the Caribbean.

I think you're missing the point. Britain can take the moral high ground but it won't actually gain us anything. Unless there's some kind of global tax harmonisation, or better yet, a change in stock market rules so Google and the like can't pull the old "maximising shareholder value" line; then you're going to have tax havens. For small countries its a fast track to economic growth.

 

[TdC]

afaik from a documentary, bajillionaires want to keep their money, not spend it. a very dodgy finance person said in the docu: first thing you do with that level of cash is vanish: you no longer sign for anything. your name goes nowhere at all. everything...EVERYTHING...is done through companies. nothing is traceable back to you. the moment you own something directly the tax men will come calling.

 

[Lamp]

1. People going on, and on, and on, and on about their fucking holidays. I don't care how many suites you booked at a five-star hotel. If you need to brag about it, you're a twat.

2. The Jedi mind powers not working. Women's tops are just not falling off in the street any more. Must be atmospherics or something. Climate change or some crap.

3. People sneezing and a snot flies out and you can see it land. Nice. Use a tissue next time. Or at least paint a target on the wall and make a proper game out of it ffs. Hell, get a few beers in and I'd probably join you.

 

[old.Tohtori]

1. People going on, and on, and on, and on about their fucking holidays. I don't care how many suites you booked at a five-star hotel. If you need to brag about it, you're a twat.

Says mister "look at my new fridge!" and "today i ate the most exquisite meal!"

 

[Raven]

Insurance companies putting up their premiums every year. Cat insurance has gone up from £13 to £28 a month. Quoted £13 from other places. Even got a quote from the same company for £13 as a new policy. Since when was lengthy custom punished?

 

[rynnor]

Insurance companies putting up their premiums every year. Cat insurance has gone up from £13 to £28 a month. Quoted £13 from other places. Even got a quote from the same company for £13 as a new policy. Since when was lengthy custom punished?

They will exclude any existing conditions though - its really only possible to shop around while your pet is healthy.

 

[Lamp]

Says mister "look at my new fridge!" and "today i ate the most exquisite meal!"

Anyone who covers their 5 star hotel suite in FHOT post it notes is allowed to brag
Ner.

 

[Gwadien]

Insurance companies putting up their premiums every year. Cat insurance has gone up from £13 to £28 a month. Quoted £13 from other places. Even got a quote from the same company for £13 as a new policy. Since when was lengthy custom punished?

Clearly a dangerous cat driver.