Gray
FH is my second home
- Joined
- Dec 25, 2003
- Messages
- 3,426
So 12 years or so ago my brother fathered a child, however shortly after he was born he ended up getting killed in a motorbike accident.
There was a lot of problems surrounding this, mainly because of injuries he was sustaining with his mother and grandmother. There was a lot of aggro between the families involved, usually involing social services and what not, but in the end they did nothing.
Eventually he and his mother moved away and we lost contact with him for years. Recently however, as in, the past 6-8 months it was found that the kid (Who is now 12) moved to his other grandmothers house who lived not far from one of my other brothers.
At first everything seemed rosey and it was agreed between my mum and the grandmother that we could see him at our house on certain days, no problem with it. However things started to take a turn, and the visits where getting stopped "because he was being naughty".
My mum was getting somewhat annoyed about this, however one day i got a call from my brother saying that there was a slight altercation between the step-grandad and the boy, nothing major, just voices being raised.
At the end of the night, i got a phonecall from one of my OTHER brothers, whos daughters friend also lives nearby. She said that the lad had been thrown outside and battered in plain view of everyone, my mum roused from bed and went straight over.
The following day, social services agreed we should take custody of him and the police also got involved. I had to sit in a small room with some police while they conducted a video interview with him, it was all very new to me, and very harrowing, but at the same time i was definately impressed by all the tech that they had...
Alas, so he moved in with me and my mum, i agreed to let him on my computer so that he could go onto Facebook and chat mainly with his mother, however i was giving him constant warnings not to be shit stirring on there, because that's exactly what he was doing.
In school, he was getting bullied because they knew his dad died and he was also fairly new, being there only <6 months or so, however he always had a story about it all, and sure enough they had camcorders around the school which seemed to show that the bullies where targetting him.
Things where going great, or as well as they could be, until these fucking school holidays started. For a bit of friendship, my mum brought one of my nephews closer his age to come and stay, needless to say i wasn't thrilled totally, as the house was getting overcrowded as it was, and i was finding it hard for privacy.
Thankfully though, they ended up going to these Youth Clubs in the afternoons, so it was great. Until yesterday. I have often found that he does make white lies up to cover himself from getting into trouble, even though i knew myself what the truth was, but he took it to level extremes yesterday.
While they where at this Youth Club he said that he got into some disagreement with my other nephew, but then when he got back home they where all pally. I left them upstairs to play on the computer, when next minute i hear all this commotion going on.
I run upstairs, and he is swearing like an absolute trooper. "fuck this, fuck that, T this, T that". He then barges past me, slams the door and starts screaming at the top of his lungs saying that my other nephew said "his mother doesn't love him".
However, i spoke briefly to my other nephew, who i've never had any trouble with and he said something along the lines of "i was on Facebook talking to my mum, and then he started making fun of me saying "aww you love your mommy" - then i said "why, don't you love yours?"". It seems he took it completely out of context and then went nuclear.
My nephew even said he tried to stab him, at this point i looked at him and thought "Jesus don't you start lying now" - But sure enough my mum found a top off of a tin container which he bent into a type of shiv. My mum wondering what all the noise was about came up, and he was once again swearing like a trooper. Now, i'm one of these guys who doesn't swear infront of women (much) but while the anger wasn't directed at her it was still at her.
He ended up sitting on his bed crying. I thought it would last 5 mins tops before he stopped, but it went on for close to one whole hour of him blubbering and whinging, half of it didn't make sense, but i picked up what i could of it.
basically he was angry about him saying his mum didn't love him, fine. Then it was about how he skitted his half brother for being a black guy. My mum blew this out of the water though when she said "he wouldn't do that, since one of his other uncles (On the other side of the family) is actually a black man, he wouldn't dare do it".
Lastly, he apparently made fun of his girlfriend being blind in one eye. Which again was blown out of the water by the fact one of my brothers was blind in one eye, and it kept mounting up that he was telling all these lies so that he could justify this epic explosion that he did.
He ended up sleeping it off, and came back down as if nothing had happened and they where friends again.
Today, he has had two further meltdowns. And it's now getting to my mum, she herself is getting fed up of his constant mega tantrums because he can't get his own way - the 2 arguements today? They started because the other nephew was already using a cue in pool which he wanted, and because he wouldn't give it to him (fair enough?) he stormed off into the house.
Everything has been going fine these past few months, but my mum has just now found out how much of a git he can really be, and she can't be going through the stresses of this, i myself have never seen anything like it.
Last night i disabled his facebook for a few days, because shortly after "they made friends" last night, he went onto facebook without me knowing, and posted up a message from the sister of my nephew, basically telling her how much of a racist bully he was. So we ended up getting a phonecall saying wtf is his problem.
My mum also noticed that he has a really bad fascination with money. They where out shopping and she found £1 which was in a trolley, he demanded the money since "he" found it, and then she caught him with his hand in her bag last week. He was quick, and it doesn't look like anythign was taken, but she has been sitting on pins every since.
Shes basically losing patience with him. We have given him a good life and he has been stable, but around other kids it seems he is like a bomb ready to go off. She has warned him if he doesn't pack in, it might end up where he will have to go. It maybe harsh, but she has done so much for him only for him to do this now.
You're also afraid to talk to him incase he blows another gasket, he doesn't listen. hence my continual warnings about his usage of things like facebook, but it seems like he is now in the last chance saloon as far as it goes.
I hate school holidays. God i do...
There was a lot of problems surrounding this, mainly because of injuries he was sustaining with his mother and grandmother. There was a lot of aggro between the families involved, usually involing social services and what not, but in the end they did nothing.
Eventually he and his mother moved away and we lost contact with him for years. Recently however, as in, the past 6-8 months it was found that the kid (Who is now 12) moved to his other grandmothers house who lived not far from one of my other brothers.
At first everything seemed rosey and it was agreed between my mum and the grandmother that we could see him at our house on certain days, no problem with it. However things started to take a turn, and the visits where getting stopped "because he was being naughty".
My mum was getting somewhat annoyed about this, however one day i got a call from my brother saying that there was a slight altercation between the step-grandad and the boy, nothing major, just voices being raised.
At the end of the night, i got a phonecall from one of my OTHER brothers, whos daughters friend also lives nearby. She said that the lad had been thrown outside and battered in plain view of everyone, my mum roused from bed and went straight over.
The following day, social services agreed we should take custody of him and the police also got involved. I had to sit in a small room with some police while they conducted a video interview with him, it was all very new to me, and very harrowing, but at the same time i was definately impressed by all the tech that they had...
Alas, so he moved in with me and my mum, i agreed to let him on my computer so that he could go onto Facebook and chat mainly with his mother, however i was giving him constant warnings not to be shit stirring on there, because that's exactly what he was doing.
In school, he was getting bullied because they knew his dad died and he was also fairly new, being there only <6 months or so, however he always had a story about it all, and sure enough they had camcorders around the school which seemed to show that the bullies where targetting him.
Things where going great, or as well as they could be, until these fucking school holidays started. For a bit of friendship, my mum brought one of my nephews closer his age to come and stay, needless to say i wasn't thrilled totally, as the house was getting overcrowded as it was, and i was finding it hard for privacy.
Thankfully though, they ended up going to these Youth Clubs in the afternoons, so it was great. Until yesterday. I have often found that he does make white lies up to cover himself from getting into trouble, even though i knew myself what the truth was, but he took it to level extremes yesterday.
While they where at this Youth Club he said that he got into some disagreement with my other nephew, but then when he got back home they where all pally. I left them upstairs to play on the computer, when next minute i hear all this commotion going on.
I run upstairs, and he is swearing like an absolute trooper. "fuck this, fuck that, T this, T that". He then barges past me, slams the door and starts screaming at the top of his lungs saying that my other nephew said "his mother doesn't love him".
However, i spoke briefly to my other nephew, who i've never had any trouble with and he said something along the lines of "i was on Facebook talking to my mum, and then he started making fun of me saying "aww you love your mommy" - then i said "why, don't you love yours?"". It seems he took it completely out of context and then went nuclear.
My nephew even said he tried to stab him, at this point i looked at him and thought "Jesus don't you start lying now" - But sure enough my mum found a top off of a tin container which he bent into a type of shiv. My mum wondering what all the noise was about came up, and he was once again swearing like a trooper. Now, i'm one of these guys who doesn't swear infront of women (much) but while the anger wasn't directed at her it was still at her.
He ended up sitting on his bed crying. I thought it would last 5 mins tops before he stopped, but it went on for close to one whole hour of him blubbering and whinging, half of it didn't make sense, but i picked up what i could of it.
basically he was angry about him saying his mum didn't love him, fine. Then it was about how he skitted his half brother for being a black guy. My mum blew this out of the water though when she said "he wouldn't do that, since one of his other uncles (On the other side of the family) is actually a black man, he wouldn't dare do it".
Lastly, he apparently made fun of his girlfriend being blind in one eye. Which again was blown out of the water by the fact one of my brothers was blind in one eye, and it kept mounting up that he was telling all these lies so that he could justify this epic explosion that he did.
He ended up sleeping it off, and came back down as if nothing had happened and they where friends again.
Today, he has had two further meltdowns. And it's now getting to my mum, she herself is getting fed up of his constant mega tantrums because he can't get his own way - the 2 arguements today? They started because the other nephew was already using a cue in pool which he wanted, and because he wouldn't give it to him (fair enough?) he stormed off into the house.
Everything has been going fine these past few months, but my mum has just now found out how much of a git he can really be, and she can't be going through the stresses of this, i myself have never seen anything like it.
Last night i disabled his facebook for a few days, because shortly after "they made friends" last night, he went onto facebook without me knowing, and posted up a message from the sister of my nephew, basically telling her how much of a racist bully he was. So we ended up getting a phonecall saying wtf is his problem.
My mum also noticed that he has a really bad fascination with money. They where out shopping and she found £1 which was in a trolley, he demanded the money since "he" found it, and then she caught him with his hand in her bag last week. He was quick, and it doesn't look like anythign was taken, but she has been sitting on pins every since.
Shes basically losing patience with him. We have given him a good life and he has been stable, but around other kids it seems he is like a bomb ready to go off. She has warned him if he doesn't pack in, it might end up where he will have to go. It maybe harsh, but she has done so much for him only for him to do this now.
You're also afraid to talk to him incase he blows another gasket, he doesn't listen. hence my continual warnings about his usage of things like facebook, but it seems like he is now in the last chance saloon as far as it goes.
I hate school holidays. God i do...