Jeff and Tonder in DAoC

Athinz

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Aug 15, 2004
Messages
165
i just sat and read 7 pages.. i don't know how i was motivated to read that much


good work :)
 

Ctuchik

FH is my second home
Joined
Dec 23, 2003
Messages
10,459
i'm waiting for more here!! comon seel! get that thumb out of ur holyplace and get writing! :)
 

old.Tohtori

FH is my second home
Joined
Jan 23, 2004
Messages
45,210
((Back for more...Did you say Moore?))

Security guard: Breach in the upper level delta! We have incoming bogies!
Security chief: Seal off the exits! Close the ionfields and ready the laser turrets!
Security guard 2: Roger! We have them cornered in sector delta F4.
Security chief: Send in enforcer team gamma.

Enforer chief: *zzt*Sir! We have the area in sight, spotting two hostiles in motion sensors.*zzt*
Security chief: *zzt*Roger that, we confirm. Shoot to kill.*zzt*
Enforcer chief: *zzt* Yes'sr! *zzt*
Enforcer chief: Davids!
Davids: Sir!
Enforcer chief: Doubleteam, sensors, smoke the area and take out hostiles.
Davids: SIR!
Jacobs: Spotting two hostiles at 15 feet, moving closer...
Davids: Keep cool Jacobs, we don't know these guys...
Jacobs: How'd they get in? This is New Albions best protected tower...
Davids: Who cares...lock and load...
Jacobs: Right....10 feet...
Davids: We should see them by now...
Jacobs: 5 feet!
Davids: What the hell?
Jacobs: 1 feet! What the f...they should be on top of us...
Davids: Ah hell! FIRE! FIRE!!
*bra ta ta ta!! boom!!*
Enforcer chief: *zzt* Davids? What the hell is going on?! Answer! *zzt*
Davids: *zzt* ssssshhhhhhhhhhh *zzt*
Enforcer chief: What the damned is going on! Jenkins!
Jenkins: Sir!
Enforcer chief: Take a demolition team and throw a couple of charges down there!
Jenkins: Sir! Thompson! Load the demo4!
Thompson: Loaded sir!
Jenkins: Fire!
*KAPLAM!!! click...click...click...*
Enforcer chief: ...
Jenkins: ...
Thompson: It should've blown up allready....
*click click click*
Enforcer chief: Get do
*BOOOOOOOOM!!*

Security chief: *zzt*Enforcer team gamma report! ETG! Report damnit!!*zzt*
????: *zzt* Uh...hello? *zzt*
Security chief: *zzt* What the hell is going on down there? We have reports of explosions and ion fields shutting down. *zzt*
????: *zzt* Uh, we're...umm...we're shutting them down to make sure the nasties are dead. *zzt*
Security Chief: *zzt* Nasties? Who the hell is this?! *zzt*
????: *zzt* Tonder...they're asking who i am...*zzt*
????: *zzt*Oh for fucks sake...give it here...this is Tonder, your worst nightmare, pray to whatever gods you falsely worship and kiss your ass goodbye! *zzt*
Security guard: Sir! Multiple breachees in levels 10 to 14, sectors alpha and beta are loosing power!

((To be continued))
 

old.Tohtori

FH is my second home
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Messages
45,210
Regen- said:
Where has jeff and tonder gone? :eek6:

Nice to see people following the storyline :D

old.Tohtori said:
Tonder: Toto, we're not in motherf*cking kansas no more.
Billboard: Welcome citizen to New Albion, all hail glorious King Arthur the XX. New citizens should register to the nearest registering office for evaluation and chip entry.
 

Lothoras

One of Freddy's beloved
Joined
Jan 17, 2005
Messages
295
Man this is good stuff :worthy:
More J&T pleeeease :clap: Dingle was teh best!!!!
:cheers:
 

old.Tohtori

FH is my second home
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Jan 23, 2004
Messages
45,210
IT was a lte afternoon in the dusk filled caverns of dusk cavern. Albeit the name of the caverns could have been more intimidating to keep out the unwanted, but the inhabitant of the cavern cared not for either the name or who dared venture into his lair. So, there he sat, in the back of the dusk lair...cavern..the dusky cavern lair. I told you he wasn't much for the names. This guy was the narrator, known as and only as that. Many had ventured into the lair to find his wisdom on, things...but only few had returned with the aid of a narration. Don't worry, the rest of the adventurers are fine. I might have been a bit over exited when i said "who dared venture into his lair", since there wasn't anything dangerous in the lair/cavern.

The main point was, he was bored. He hadn't been invitedto the annual narrators ball, because he hadn't narrated on his classic Jeff and Tonder adventures for years now. He had a long beard, so long that it went around his nosehair, wrapped around his armpit hair and did unspeakable things to his unwanted hair.Well, he had been sitting there for many years to have a ridicilously large amount of hair.

Actually he had been sitting i that cavern for one day,but it was a long time for a narrator. They have some time shifting abilities of unknown origin. This narrators name was Nick. All narrators did have the same name, but this was The Nick of Jeff and Tonder. He had been cast aside, thrown away, set on a pi...

Nick: They get it allready!

*ahem* Yes. Well, now Nick was needed again, but little did he know for what or how...or that he was needed...since he didn't have a cellphone, and was in a cave...and nobody liked him, cause he smelled, and his butthair was somewhere in between his chesthair that was doing unspeakable horrors to his earwax smeared

Nick: *cough*

Anyway! Two adventurers were lost in time and only Nick Narrator could save them now....from the dusky shadows of the dusk cavern lair holes...a shadowy figure emerged...
 

Bahumat

FH is my second home
Joined
Jun 22, 2004
Messages
16,788
old.Tohtori said:
IT was a lte afternoon in the dusk filled caverns of dusk cavern. Albeit the name of the caverns could have been more intimidating to keep out the unwanted, but the inhabitant of the cavern cared not for either the name or who dared venture into his lair. So, there he sat, in the back of the dusk lair...cavern..the dusky cavern lair. I told you he wasn't much for the names. This guy was the narrator, known as and only as that. Many had ventured into the lair to find his wisdom on, things...but only few had returned with the aid of a narration. Don't worry, the rest of the adventurers are fine. I might have been a bit over exited when i said "who dared venture into his lair", since there wasn't anything dangerous in the lair/cavern.

The main point was, he was bored. He hadn't been invitedto the annual narrators ball, because he hadn't narrated on his classic Jeff and Tonder adventures for years now. He had a long beard, so long that it went around his nosehair, wrapped around his armpit hair and did unspeakable things to his unwanted hair.Well, he had been sitting there for many years to have a ridicilously large amount of hair.

Actually he had been sitting i that cavern for one day,but it was a long time for a narrator. They have some time shifting abilities of unknown origin. This narrators name was Nick. All narrators did have the same name, but this was The Nick of Jeff and Tonder. He had been cast aside, thrown away, set on a pi...

Nick: They get it allready!

*ahem* Yes. Well, now Nick was needed again, but little did he know for what or how...or that he was needed...since he didn't have a cellphone, and was in a cave...and nobody liked him, cause he smelled, and his butthair was somewhere in between his chesthair that was doing unspeakable horrors to his earwax smeared

Nick: *cough*

Anyway! Two adventurers were lost in time and only Nick Narrator could save them now....from the dusky shadows of the dusk cavern lair holes...a shadowy figure emerged...

please oh please let it be David Hasselhoff
 

Ezteq

Queen of OT
Joined
Jan 4, 2004
Messages
13,457
omg i just read all 8 pages from the start and it ends up with some smelly old hairy guy in a cave????!!!!??????

i bet this is what the fbi felt like when they cracked the 911 bombings tbh
 

Sauruman

Loyal Freddie
Joined
Jul 5, 2004
Messages
801
MOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE... PWEASEEEEEE! :bazbeer:
 

FAM87

Loyal Freddie
Joined
Jan 6, 2005
Messages
228
Long time since any J&T was posted here. Please make some more,this is fooking great :worthy: :worthy:
 

old.Tohtori

FH is my second home
Joined
Jan 23, 2004
Messages
45,210
((A blast from the backside...past!))

*After the release of Nick the Narrator, things went a bit off road. First came the legion of dragons, then the destruction of the sun, followed closely by a very evil mongoose and finally, after many twists and turns, our heroes arrive at a very, very strange place.*

Nick: Well i can't be arsed to write all of that in detail, suck it up!

*cough*

*In a not so dark and slightly woody place, a silent clicking noise fills the air*

Jeff: Aaaaaaaaadie die die!!
Tonder: Watch you...huh?
Jeff: Where'd the nasties go?
*click clickety click click*
Tonder: Not to mention, what the hell is making that noise?
Jeff: Who's that?
Tonder: Who?
Jeff: That long haired dude behind that box.
Tonder: I dunno, but i found the source of that annoying clicking sound...grr...hey you!
*click cl...*
???: ...wh...what?! I'm busy here!
Tonder: Yeah, busy annoying the living daylights ut of me. Stop it.
???: You're not my boss....wait a minute...Tonder?! Jeff?!?!
Tonder: One and only.
Jeff: You heard of me?
???: I made you!
Tonder: Pfft.
Jeff: Yeah right...
???: Look, you're not supposed to be here. Or exist in any shape or form at all!
Jeff: This guy is more coocoo then Dingle.
???: I made him too!
Tonder: Look buster, i dont know who youi are...
Old.Tohtori: I'm old.tohtori, creator of jeff and tonder and your supreme ruler!
Jeff: What's this...
Tonder: Yeah. Ok. Look, i've had a very very long day, week...whatever! Bouncing through time and space is getting to my nerves.
Jeff: ...crouching tonder hidden jef...?
Old.Tohtori: You're the one getting on MY nerves, though, that's what i made you so...my bad i guess...
Tonder: Look. My mother and father had some fun time and i was the result. That's it. I don't think YOU made me.
Old.Tohtori: Oh really?
Jeff: ...tonder...
Tonder: Really! You're just some punk behind a desk and i couldn't give a rats behind about what you think you are!
Jeff: ...tonder...
Old.Tohtori: Oooooh reeeally?! I could turn you into a carrot right now,just by typing it!
Tonder: I dare ya! Loonie toon!
Old.Tohtori: Right. You asked for it.
*tonder turns into a carrot*
Tonder: ...
Jeff: Oh crap. Hey mister...
Old.Tohtori: What?!
Jeff: We just want to go home. I see that you're some sort of god writing down what happens to us, and i on't mind it, not at all, he adventurs have been fun...but i really miss my guild and midgardin general.
Old.Tohtori: Well i guess you have bee buncing back and forth too long...wait a minute...
*Tonder turns to normal*
Tonder: Marble misplacer! Crackpot! ...wh..huh? What did you do!?
Jeff: Read these Tonder, i think he's a god or something.
*old.tohtori nods*
Tonder: Well tickle me pink. So you're the guy who sent us bouncing back and forth around time and realms and YOU'RE the guy who
Old.Tohtori: Right, time to send you home. I'll just press....
*Tonder and Jeff disappear*
Old.Tohtori: Oh my...this can't be good...ill just...no...ah crap...hope those guys like...

*in a distant universe*

Gandalf: The ring must be destroyed! Oh voe and worry and all evil stuff! Frodo, you must take the ring to the elves and...umm...do stuff with it!
Frodo: Me? I dunno, how 'bout Sam...he's much more adventury *coughstupidcough* type then me.
Sam: No worries oh dear Mr Frodo, i'll be right on your tail along the way.
Frodo: Just what i'm afraid of....*shivers*
Tonder: No...freakin...way...
Jeff: HOBBITS!!

(to be continuesed)
 

Bahumat

FH is my second home
Joined
Jun 22, 2004
Messages
16,788
haha damn you and your "to be continued"

Very good stuff, keep em coming
 

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