Jeff and Tonder in DAoC

[old.Tohtori]

((Bonus material: Crouching Tonder, hidden Jeff))

Tonder: This is ridicilous....Jeff? Where are you? For f*cks sake...stupidest bit ever...

End.

 

[Bahumat]

haha keep em coming, your talent is endless!

 

[Ronso]

time for you to pack in daoc and just write full time me thinks ..or direct a daoc movie ...

 

[Takhasis]

((Bonus material: Crouching Tonder, hidden Jeff))

Tonder: This is ridicilous....Jeff? Where are you? For f*cks sake...stupidest bit ever...

End.

omg classic - had me in stitches that one

 

[old.Tohtori]

time for you to pack in daoc and just write full time me thinks ..or direct a daoc movie ...

*cough* I haven't played in 1.5 years

 

[Kinag]

I died :eek2:

Ah well, not that big of a shock I guess

Nice stories, givf more xD

btw, I was a troll, not a small dwarf

 

[old.Tohtori]

Everybody who's a guest star in these things dies, no special treatment

Well, a dorf guild fitted Jeff better(and the future stories *wink wink*) so no complaining you dorf you!

 

[Ronso]

*cough* I haven't played in 1.5 years

time for the come back ..on hib scal

 

[old.Tohtori]

((Boared out of my mine))

Jeff: Firt time in the frontiers, i was mesmerized...*lallalaaa*
Tonder: Shut up!
Jeff: Well Suz was singing it, i can't help it's catching.
Tonder: We're trying to make an ambush...what's so hard to get in the concept of "silence"?
Jeff: Well you're talking too...
Tonder: Just to make you shut up!
Alb soldier sayes something in a some kind of a language.
Tonder: Shh...
Jeff: ...
Alb wizard sayes something in a sorta similar fashion.
Tonder: Crap...charge!!
Jeff: Roraoaaar!!
Tonder: Crap...run!!
Jeff: Roaraaaaaaaaah!!
Tonder: huf huf....a bit too many...huf...
Jeff: We can't make it to the keep!!
Tonder: Yeah we can...just shut up and get those legs moving...
Midguard: Halt! Who goes there!
Jeff: Friends!
Midguard: What's the password!?
Tonder: Get out of my way before i introduce that hammer to your backside!
Midguard: Wrong password.
Tonder: Look. We don't have time to argue...there's a
Midguard was just killed by Albion wizard*
Tonder: I should say i told you so, but we really gotta run. Into the teleport!
Jeff: Aaaaaaaaaa!!
Tonder: Craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap!!!

*swirly snap crackle zhoooooom zip budow pif kaboing!!!*

Jeff: Wooah....weird...
Tonder: Felt a bit long for a teleport back to th....huh?
Jeff: Where are we?
Tonder: In...well it looks like a cave..no wait...pick axes...buckets...we're in a mine.
Jeff: Mine?
Tonder: Yeah. Come on, gotta find an exit.
Jeff: Where's the tele...
Tonder: Just come on!

*later on that very same moment*

Tonder: Well, atleast we're outside.
Jeff: Still don't know where i am though...
Tonder: Like you ever really know.
Jeff: Who's that? Atleast no race i know...looks a bit norse...
Tonder: Why don't you do me a favor and don't ask.
Jeff: Hey you!
????: ....
Tonder: Woah...no answer...oh please let him be def...
Jeff; Didn't you hear me? You! Hello!?
????: mm...?
Jeff: Yes you, sitting on that rock looking like you sold your land and lost the coins.
????: Hmm?
Jeff: Who are you?
????: I don't care...
Tonder: That's the spirit!
Jeff: Tonder you're not helping.
Tonder: Like i don't know that.
Jeff: What should we call you?
????: Anything...i don't care...
Jeff: Well what do other people call you?
Lakashnik: Lakashnik...like that matters...
Tonder: I like this guy. Such a good way to look at life.
Jeff: Tonder...
Tonder: Well i do!
Lakashnik: ...can't you just leave me in my misery...?
Tonder: Yes we can! Come on Jeff.
Jeff: What's wrong?
Tonder: No really. Come on. If we go now he won't tell us!
Lakashnik: Well...
Tonder: Quick! Over here! We can still avoid it!
Jeff; Go on...
Tonder: No don't! Please don...
Lakashnik: I'm a miner you see...
Tonder: Crap. Might as well sit down...and hope some wandering monster will step on me...
Jeff: A minor? You don't look that young.
Lakashnik: A -miner-. That's there my mine.
Tonder: This road should do...i'll just lay down here and...ooh maybe a horse will trample me!
Lakashnik: Well, WAS my mine. Until i was forced to stop mining there.
Jeff: What happened?
Lakashnik: Boars.
Jeff: What?
Lakashnik: Boars. Wild Stone Boars came in and made a nest for themselves. Aggressive little fatbarrels. Now i can't mine there 'cause i fear they'll bite off my hand or another appendix that i've grown to like.
Jeff: Why don't you kill them? You look like a strong enough guy.
Tonder: Hello? Beasts? Horses? Anyone?
Lakashnik: I'm no fighter. Mining is all i can do. And now i can't do that...
Jeff: Surely you can do something else?
Lakashnik: No. Just mine. And i was doing fine until those flinty beasts came in...bah...
Jeff: Tonder!
Tonder: What? Can't you see i'm busy trying to get myself killed?
Jeff: Can't we help this guy clear out his mine out of some wild boars?
Tonder: They dangerous?
Jeff: Are they?
Lakashnik: Well they got big teeth and can bite through solid rock to get the minerals they eat...my minerals...i think i'm gonna cry...
Jeff: Sound pretty dangerous Tonder!
Tonder: Sigh...fine!
Lakashnik: Really? You'd do that for me? I don't even know you...which is kinda sad...
Tonder: That's why there's a price.
Lakashnik: But i'm just a poor min
Tonder: Yeah yeah. Look, are there any teleports around?
Lakashnik: Tele whats?
Jeff: Teleports. From point a to point b in a fast and efficient way. For all your travelling needs! Now comes in three different shades; green, blue and red so you can better decorate your locale! It's not only a teleport, it's a lifestyle!
Tonder: ...
Jeff: Damn that's a catching commercial...
Lakashnik: Now that you mention it...i think there's one over in Jung city.
Tonder: Where's that?
Lakashnik: Just down that road, first crossroad left and about an hour or two on it. Can't miss the capitol of Gnashgor. I'd say it's a beautiful sight if i wasn't so depressed...
Tonder: Right. Let's go Jeff.
Jeff: But what about the boars?
Tonder: We don't need to kill them, we can get back to midgard now.
Jeff: But Tonder....
Tonder: No! Don't even think about..
Jeff: But..snif...
Tonder: Oh for f...fine! Let's get this over with.
Lakashnik: I'm sorry i'm so much trouble...
Tonder: Oh can it...

*an hour or so later*

Tonder: Bloody pants of thor!
Jeff: Well that was one huge adventure!
Tonder: I never thought i'd see a thing like that!
Jeff: With the...
Tonder: Yeah and...
Jeff: No way! Wait until others hear about it.
Tonder: Yeah. What a ride.
Lakashnik: Oh...hi there guys...
Jeff: Fear not oh worried one. The mine is clear.
Lakashnik: You mean...
Jeff: You can mine your own business again.
Lakashnik: Oh thank you! Thank you so much! Here! Take this amulet, i don't know what it does, but i found it on a dead giant. Thank you again!
Jeff: No problem! Glad to help.
Tonder: He is. Don't get it mixed up. Gimme that ammy.
Lakashnik: There you go. And thank you so much guys!
Tonder: Let's go....
Jeff: Bye bye miney dude!
Lakashnik: Fare well my friends!

*down the road*
Jeff: What a nice fellow.
Tonder: I just have this feeling that something a miss here...like we forgot something...
Jeff: Must be the surroundings.
Tonder: Yeah...weird...try to keep up, i want to get back as soon as possible...

*back at the mine*
Lakashnik: Oh joy! I can mine again! I can feed my family and...
*poof!!*
Consistancy Ninja: Haj, hu, hey, ho ....slice!!
*Lakashnik was just killed by Consistancy Ninja*
Consistancy Ninja bows.
*poof*

((Story continues))

 

[Lakashnik]

lmfao

 

[Kinag]

lol

 

[Shadoo]

wow brilliant!

 

[Loch]

Kinag: And theAHAHHAHAHAA!!
*Kinag was just killed by Tomtis*
Jeff: Oh my god you killed Kinny!! You bastard!!
Tonder: Smish! Ahaha....

lol ^

 

[old.Tohtori]

((Gnashgor, the realm of beauty and...not that special place really...[story continues]))

Jeff: Have you noticed anything strange in this place?
Tonder: Like the lack of people running around chasing giant ants or wild bears in the open area, wearing pink pants and yellow shirts and sreaming at eachother for healing, resurrection or money while trying to look cool fighting until a big purple boogeyman comes and slaughters them all?
Jeff: I actually meant that there's no water.
Tonder: ...who gives a f
????: Hello travellers!
Jeff: Hello questionmark guy!
????: ??
Jeff: See?
Tonder: My head hurts allready....
????: My name is Dingle, the most famous digger in the whole realm of Gnashgor, and the lower parts of Hridden i might add.
Tonder: You know, that means abso-bloody-lutely nothing to us.
Dingle: Not from around here are ya?
Tonder: We're lucky in that way.
Dingle: Most rude behaviour from a silly, whiteskinned wannabe warrior lookalike.
Tonder: ....wh....WHAT?!
Jeff: Nevermind Tonder here, he's just a bit miffed because we can't find our way back home.
Dingle: Oh my! I'm the most famous advice giver in the whole realm of Gnashgor, and the
Tonder: lower parts of Hridden...?
Dingle: You heard of me?
Tonder: Wish i never had.
Jeff: Can you possibly give advice on how to get to Jung City?
Dingle: Why ofcourse!
Jeff: ...
Tonder: ...
Dingle: ...
Tonder: Well?!
Dingle: Yes?
Tonder: The advice?
Dingle: On what?
Tonder: To get to Jung City!
Dingle:Oh i need no advice in that.
Tonder: We do!
Dingle: Do what?
Tonder: Need the advice!
Dingle: To Jung City?
Tonder: Yes...
Dingle: Now?
Tonder: No...tomorrow jackass...
Dingle: Ok, pop by tomorrow, i'll be at my shop in Jung City.
Tonder: w...what the f...Jeff...you continue...i need to lay down...my head hurts..
Jeff: We actually need the advice now.
Dingle: To Jung?
Jeff: Yes.
Dingle: Ok. Well.
Jeff: Yes?
Dingle: No, there's a well.
Jeff: Where?
Dingle: Down the road, after the crossroad.
Jeff: Crossroad?
Dingle: Take it right.
Jeff: Right?
Dingle: Right.
Jeff: Right.
Dingle: Yes. Go on the road about a mile or so.
Jeff: The right road?
Dingle: If you listened to the instructions, yes.
Jeff: Ok.
Dingle: You'll come to a tree.
Jeff: Which side?
Dingle: Left.
Jeff: Ok. Right road, tree left.
Dingle: No the tree is still there.
Jeff: What?
Dingle: The tree.
Jeff: Ok....
Dingle: Ok. After the tree you continue.
Jeff: On the road?
Dingle: Yes.
Jeff: What about the tree?
Dingle: It's doing fine, starts a new job inbusiness management tomorrow.
Jeff: ...right...
Dingle: Left.
Jeff: Yes.
Dingle: Now, when you get to the second crossroad.
Jeff: Yes?
Dingle: Go straight.
Jeff: Ofcourse.
Dingle: Right after the sawmill, you go up the stairs into the opening in the mountainwall, walk through it, down the stairs, and continue on the road.
Jeff: So walk straight...
Dingle: Didn't you listen? You go STRAIGHT at the crossroads, right after the sawmill, up the stair...
Tnder: This will be a long...long....night...

(To be continued)

 

[Kinag]

lol

 

[Lakashnik]

rofl

 

[Killerbee]

:worthy:

 

[old.Tohtori]

((Dingle done, on on along!))

Jeff: This ammy we got from the miner sure is pretty.
Tonder: Gimme that....ngh!!
Jeff: HEEEEEEEY!! Why'd you go and throw it in a lake?
Tonder: One less thing to explain.
Jeff: Hmpf...sour puss...
Tonder: Keep moving...we need to get to Jung city sometime soon.
Jeff: Wonder if it's as pretty as people all around tell us.
Tonder: I honestly don't care, as long as it has a portal back home i'm good.

(a wile and a few miles later)

Jeff: Hey look!
Tonder: What now?
Jeff: There's a treasure chest!
Tonder: It's a box...
Jeff: I bet there's treasure in it.
Tonder: A treasure. On a roadside. Where thousands of people move daily. Untouched. Can't you really, REALLY see something wrong with the picture?
Jeff: Umm....i'll go look inside!
Tonder: I have a bad feeling ab...no wait...i have a nasty sensation about this...*phew*
Jeff: It's a clock!
Tonder: What?
Jeff: There's a clock inside.
Tonder: Got to admit...cool. Numbers and stuff, i've never seen anything like that back home.
Jeff: But...why are the numbers going backwards?
Tonder: Maybe day's move other way here.
Jeff: Like....from midnight to midday instead of
Tonder: Backwards. Yes. Damn you're daft sometimes...take it along, got to show the guildies that one.
Jeff: It's a bit heavy...nnggh...BIT...
Tonder: Suck it up. Let's get moving. Jung city should be around that hill.
Jeff: The time is 01:15:34...
Tonder: Great...middle of the night or day...sun is shining..and i'm walking with a moron...
Jeff: 30...
Jeff: 29....
Tonder: Sigh...
Jeff: 27...
Jeff: 26...
Jeff: 25...

((To be continued))

 

[Ctuchik]

yay!! now i can finally get to know whats gonna happen

:worthy:

 

[Lakashnik]

not nearly enough. but u have enticed me again. stupid seels and their tempting us. hes satan!!!!

 

[old.Tohtori]

((Sweet home ala...Jung c...damnit...))

Jeff: Ah, Jung city...
Tonder: ...
Jeff: It truly is a wonderful sight, loomingover the horizon like a beautiful pearl in th
Tonder: Shut up!
Jeff: Well it IS pretty!
Tonder: Yes yes, pretty city, but we ain't in yet so act like a sane person.
Jeff: 24:15...14...13...It's almost midnight!
Tonder: Right...gagtime.
Jeff: Whamhmm! mhmmhm mhm mmh!!!
Tonder: Get in the bag.
Jeff: M mm!
Tonder: Bag, now!
Jeff: Hmp...
Tonder: And shut up!

Jung City guard: Who goes there!
Tonder: Just a travelling merchant.
JCG: What's in the bag?
Tonder: Some bread, gold and a gift to your glorious leader.
JCG: A gift for Mighty Jung?
Tonder: Named a city after himself? My...sounds like a great g...ahem...yes! I bring gifts from the sout..er...eastern f...fronts!
JCG: How goes the war there?
Tonder: er....things haven't changed much.
JCG: How is Mistress Nua'yar?
Tonder: She's well.
JCG: So she beat the evil disease? This is glorious news!
Tonder: ahm...yes! This is why she sent a gift to Mighty Jung!
JCG: Well, quickly now. We must take these news to the Mighty Jung with haste!
Tonder: ...sure thing...jeff...this might take a bit longer...
Jeff: Mhm????

JCG: Hail glorious and Mighty Jung! We bear news from the eastern fronts!
Mighty Jung: How goes the war against the evil Fergoil...
JCG: No change my lord, but this travelling merchant brings a gift from Mistress Nua'Yar.
Mighty Jung: Come forth!
Tonder: ehm...hello...
Mighty Jung: Mistress Nua'Yar is well?
Tonder: Oh yes oh Mighty Jung sir.
Mighty Jung: This is a glorious day! What is this gift you speak of?
Tonder: Oh it's a most wonderous thing. A teller of day!
Mighty Jung: Sounds marvellous! Show me at once!
Tonder: Yes sir..lord..sire...Jeff...hand over the clock...hand it ove...let go...jeff!
Mighty Jung: You speak to your bag?
Tonder: It's...magical..sir. *cough*
Mighty Jung: Ah i see...what a strange name for a bag..jeff...sounds...royal in some way.
Tonder: ...yes...it's from the Kingdom of Royal Pa'In...Let...GO!...there we are...
Mighty Jung: I am amazed. This truly is a powerful gift, i can feel it's might...what are these numbers?
Tonder: They speak of the day. When all numbers are round, it is midnight.
Mighty Jung: But...this tells that it is soon midnight and it isn't even near midday...
Tonder: That is why it's so powerful sir, it is protected by enchantments of confusion.
Mighty Jung: Marvellous! Leave now and let me examine this wonder!
Tonder: Yes..sir..mam...err...bye!

Tonder: Ok get out, i think we got to hurry.
Jeff: Hm...why so?
Tonder: I don't think that clock is a clock.
Jeff: Why so?
Tonder: ...stop saying that...let's just find the portal.
Jeff: Right, but how do we know we get home with it?
Tonder: Trust me, anywhere is better then here.
Jeff: Right.
Citizen: I oveheard you looking for the portal?
Tonder: Yes. Where is it?
Citizen: How rude of...AA LET ME DOWN!!
Tonder: I'nm gonna feed your favorite parts to my little friend here if you don't tell me now! So start with the pointig of the finger!
Citizen: Tha...that way!
Tonder: Jeff...move!

Tonder: There it is...
Jeff: It's guarded.
Tonder: Go bear then, should scare them off.
Jeff: Right...AAARARRRROOOOOOOOOOAAARR!!
Guard1: Aaa monsters!!
Guard2: Stand and fight!
Guard1: YOU stand and fight, i'm running!!
Guard2: Get back her....to damnation with it...run!!!
Tonder: Jump through!
Citizen: What is that glow from the kings tower...it's growing stronger!
Tonder: AAAAAAAAAAA!!
Jeff: AAAAAAAAAAA!!














Midguard: Who goes there?! Speak or be gutted!
Tonder: Ah...rude guards...home...

END!

 

[Bahumat]

hehe quality

 

[Kinag]

Hehehe, great one xD


But don't you dare stop now!

 

[Keres]

Excellent stuff Seel, been great reading it all again :worthy:

 

[old.Tohtori]

((The one to End it all))

Jeff: Tonder..what you want to do today?
Tonder: How abouBLAM!!
JEff: WhaBLAM BLAM!!

Jurificator: By the law appointed in the year 1956 by the great Rulers to be, you two are hereby executed under the X-Termination act of -97. If you are both dead, please state nothing clearly.

Tonder: ...
Jeff: NgBLAM!!
Jeff: ...

Jurificator: You have both agreed to the terms of extermination. Case 23745/12-423-J&T is now closed.


END?

 

[Lakashnik]

noooo.

poopy

 

[Kinag]

Bastard!

 

[Ingafgrinn Macabre]

amagad! :'(

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Dem Heroes can't die in their own story :'( :'( :'(

 

[Ronso]

lets do the scooby do ending ..or the mega happy ending

 

[old.Tohtori]

((Seriously What-The-F*cked))

Jeff: ...oh..god...
Tonder: nnngggh....wh...what the...
Jeff: Who was..ngh...that guy?
Tonder: Don't know..don't...ow my head...
Guy: Hobo scum!
Jeff: Ow!!
Tonder: Whatever the place, it hates Jeff....might be ok.
Jeff: ...this ground feels a bit hard..
Tonder: Feels like laying on a wall.
Jeff: I'm spiderman?!
Tonder: ...oi...where ar...what...the...f*ck!
Jeff: Wh...whoa!
Tonder: Toto, we're not in motherf*cking kansas no more.
Billboard: Welcome citizen to New Albion, all hail glorious King Arthur the XX. New citizens should register to the nearest registering office for evaluation and chip entry.
Tonder: I want back to gnashgor....
Jeff: This...this can't be real. New Albion? Seriously...what the...
Tonder: By all logic...
Jeff: Don't say it.
Tonder: Has to be said.
Jeff: No...i'm not listening!
Tonder: Teh zerg won.

((Fantaztologic! To be continued!))