Question elephant swaffling

[TdC]

well, it's almost the configuration I envisaged, other than the water..um...spurting from the elephant's trunk, and the onlooker being tiny and brown rather than lanky and pale...

other than that I'd say top marks!

not aroused in the slightest though, sorry

 

[Uara]

So how may I ask have you managed to gain access to an Elephant??!?!?!? Do you kno some black-market zoo keepers or something?

 

[TdC]

I am obviously a man of many talents

 

[old.Tohtori]

I am obviously a man of many talents

*focuses his mental powers more*

No boasting!

Oh yeah and bring a laptop, you can't miss the chance for an actual elephant post on FH

Just click new topic, let the ellie tap the keyboard and post!

 

[DaGaffer]

We're all going to jail as accessories aren't we? IT WASN'T ANYTHING TO DO WITH ME IF YOU'RE READING THIS OFFICER!

 

[TdC]

also just to recap the poll results for you guys...

currently:

• Chilly thinks I am going to be beaten to death by elephant co><, meaning he secretly ha a crush on Will (or hates me).
• Jupitus and Trem think Will will perish horribly (eg lurve me slash just want to see Will get it, err, elephant stylé.
• Aoami, Cyradix, Fast, Ormorof, Overdriven, RandomBastard, myself and Will think we will both die. probably badly by punishing pachyderm penis potentially perforating our sphincters. Well, I made that last bit up, for the challenge of making a sentence with five words beginning with the letter p.
• 00dave, Granpa, JingleBells, WiZe^ and Yoni now hate me, and possibly hate Will too. this is the thanks I get for broadening people's minds you see
• Cadelin, caLLous, DaGaffer, mr.Blacky and Uara have, as a gesture of their great respect, decided to avoid Will and myself in the future. Their loss tbh
  
  and finally
  
• Ch3tan, Edmond and Munkey have apparently swaffled elephants in the past, or have been present while the swaffling occured, or were swaffled by an elephant, because they think Will and I are a bunch of old ladies. Ahem.

there you go

 

[TdC]

*focuses his mental powers more*

No boasting!

Oh yeah and bring a laptop, you can't miss the chance for an actual elephant post on FH

Just click new topic, let the ellie tap the keyboard and post!

my laptop is very small. I don't think I could get an elephant to type something on it. not even with it's trunk. sorry

 

[old.Tohtori]

my laptop is very small. I don't think I could get an elephant to type something on it. not even with it's trunk. sorry

But..but...elephant post!

also, i believe that the ellie will let out a grunt of approval of your swaffling endeavor.

 

[TdC]

you want me to record the noise of the elephant being swaffled? jeepers, you're worse than Will is o0

 

[MYstIC G]

Pol lacks a "TdC's penis looks like a little peanut and will be sucked up the trunk" option.

Hear hear!

*twiddles*

 

[old.Tohtori]

you want me to record the noise of the elephant being swaffled? jeepers, you're worse than Will is o0

Honestly i was looking for a HDvideo of the event with a commentary from the ellie handler

 

[TdC]

fiddling with my poll

and an elephant sucking on my co>< with it's trunk is just wrong!!!

 

[MYstIC G]

fiddling with my poll

and an elephant sucking on my co>< with it's trunk is just wrong!!!

In this thread you're daring to make out what is right and what is wrong?!?!?

Oh and I'll fiddle with what I like, whenever I like!

 

[old.Tohtori]

Oh and I'll fiddle with what I like, whenever I like!

*unzips*

 

[TdC]

In this thread you're daring to make out what is right and what is wrong?!?!?

yes ofc. one must obey the rules

*unzips*

see? this is what comes of it!

 

[MYstIC G]

*unzips*

I don't like that so I'm not going to fiddle with it!

see? this is what comes of it!

You love it you slag!

 

[old.Tohtori]

I don't like that so I'm not going to fiddle with it!

How can you say before you've even tried!

 

[TdC]

You love it you slag!

fiddle with my poll all you like, just as long as it's not my pole I don't mind!

How can you say before you've even tried!

G's allergic to Seal fur

 

[old.Tohtori]

G's allergic to Seal fur

Bah, it's a face tickler i say

 

[TdC]

or you could shave. I'd prolly swaffle a shaved seal you know

 

[old.Tohtori]

or you could shave. I'd prolly swaffle a shaved seal you know

With my finnish roughness, you'd chafe your nuts off if it was a mere stubble

And ofcourse being so manly, it grows faster then i can shave

 

[TdC]

you'll need an all-over body wax before I'd even consider it. You know we've had a discussion about man-stubble scraping across my wee-wee and that it wasn't very likely to happen.

so there

 

[Uara]

yes, i remember that conversation, I was scared (and scarred) for a fair while!! Curled up in bed afraid of the lights of TdC's nightvision googles to suddenly appear. aaarrrrghghh nooooooooooo.....flashbacks

 

[TdC]

note to self: once done with the elephant, visit Uara in the dark of night for secret squirrel zipline swaffling extravaganza

 

[Ch3tan]

Teedles. I worry that you have plans to swaffle a elephant toy or puppet or the like, or a picture of an elephant. This is not what you have led us to believe would be happening.

Now I expect you to swaffle a fully grown, live Elephant in the flesh. No exceptions, no excuses.

 

[Uara]

note to self: once done with the elephant, visit Uara in the dark of night for secret squirrel zipline swaffling extravaganza

What I think would be even more fear inducing than what has just been mentioned would be to see Will following behind on the zipline with camera in hand.........i'm going to hav to get myself a gun!

 

[Ch3tan]

IN breaking news, I believe I have just uncovered Teedles scandalous effort to defraud us all. In response to my previous post Mr TdC sent me a PM stating this:

shhhh Chetan

 

[Yoni]

I for one want to see what TdC has swaffled... you never know Ch3t. Besides that I have had a shite day at work and I think potentially this will definately cheer me up!!

Bring on the swaffling plz!

 

[TdC]

well as I have been rumbled by Ch3tan, I will leave it to the forum to decide if they want to see what I have created

otherwise it's all good and I'll tap the thing with my co>< without you guys getting in on the action

 

[Roo Stercogburn]

so uh...how does this not qualify as bestiality?

You'd need proof Teedles was human before you could proceed with that accusation.

Some protection is in order - probably some safety goggles for the elephant so you don't risk giving it black eyes. Better yet, a big iron welder's mask. Extra safe. You might have to make a hole for its trunk to go through.