Deebs, is he or isn't he?

[Wonk]

I know exactly how you feel. I lost a very close relative to cancer a week ago

life sucks at times like these.

ah well, best wishes mate.

 

[evzy]

Nothing I can say tbh other than my thoughts are with you dude.

 

[Sharma]

Take Care mate, devstating to hear that, but indeed, family before the world of teh intarwebnet.

Cya around.

 

[Deebs]

Thanks folks,

appreciate the thoughts/comments and will pass them on to mum as she knows about BarrysWorld and Freddyshouse. She still asks how it is all going etc.

 

[Starman]

Good luck my friend - we'll all be here when you wish to return.

 

[Alliandre]

Best of luck Deebs. I just hope you come out of it ok. That bottle of red can't help forever. And as others have said, you have no right to feel like you're letting us down.

 

[Doh_boy]

Again, I'll just re-iterate what everyone else has said;
Thanks for all the work you've done with this site and best wishes to you, your monther and the your family.

 

[Sydrik]

Tony,

Occassionally the internet gives you things you can cherish for all your life. It gives you friends, family and above all else in you it has given me someone who is more like a brother. You owe us nothing, you gave millions of people the chance to communicate and meg spoke for us all in confirming that. Take our words and our wishes and remember them when you need to, for we will always be here for you.

Your friend
Gregg

 

[JBP|]

I believe you know where Yoni and I stand Deebs and therefore there is very little i can add.

 

[Jeros]

I dont really know what to say, i cant seem to put the words together that will give you any amount of comfort in this most difficult time other than nothing on the internet is more important than family and that you and your family have mine and the people of FH's best wishes.

Take care

 

[old.user4556]

All the best DBs, thoughts are with you.

Gareth

 

[Yaka]

blimey was not expecting this when i clicked on this thread.

hope you all the best, spend every moment with her and your rest of your family together. hope you and your family come through this ok

 

[RandomBastard]

I feel as if we should be giving you a 21 gun salute, we owe you everything and I wish you the best of luck in dealing with your crisis, Family always comes first and you will never have anything to apologise for.

Best wishes

 

[Utini]

Havent read the above messages, bar yours Tone, but I'll say this. (apologies if its a repeat of what anyones said, but in all honesty thats probably no bad thing).
Wish you all the best, both for the BW days, as all of us as gamers will look back with fondly for which you had more than a large part in. And secondly, for the subsequent IRC style laughs, long may your 'colourful!?' language continue in the future in better times.
Honestly, all the best, and hopefully in future times we may hear back from you.

 

[Overdriven]

Nothing I can say which hasn't already been said, you made the right decision. Family >>>>>>> Internet.

Hope you're alright mate, best wishes to your mom and your other family members.


Jason.

 

[Poag]

.

 

[Guest]

ey up mate, take your time, we will all still be here when you need us, if its not too painfull let us know about your mum, feisty italians have alot of guts, you have helped me through lots of shit in my life when i needed advice and a kick up the arse, i will be there for you as much as i can, keep the faith antonio.

even if i have to drive down to see you for a night out i will, let me know m8, im still on my o2 email account.

richard

 

[Trancor]

Best wishes

 

[Kryten]

I've looked at this thread three or four times and not actually ventured inside, now i have...

Deebs, sorry to hear about that mate. I've lost 2 close relatives to the big C and I know full well the hardest bit is knowing they are going to go - rather than when they actually do.

You know full well that you've been behind the build up of this great community since god knows when and for that, you'll have the utmost respect from everyone who has been involved in it. You'll also know what's important in life - and the time you can spend with those you love now can be some of the most important times of your life.

I hope she is at least comfortable, especially in the knowledge she will have her family around her, putting her and eachother first.

Although we know you're good at hiding your true feelings, theres nothing as good as IRC or the forums to anonymously bash someone or to confide in a non-confiding way - so you know where to come when you just need a talk. There will no doubt be thousands of us willing to listen.

Best of luck, for all of your family.

Regards, Kryt.

 

[Maljonic]

Good luck man. Take care of yourself and listen to your mother.

 

[Deebs]

Many thanks folks for the responses. It really does make a difference especially as either thru irc, phone, in person etc, I have known many of you for so so long having started down this path back in 1998.

I am a bit more coherent now so can explain slightly better and give you all an update. Several years ago my mum was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. At the time it was deemed necessary for her to have a mascetomy and some chemo/radio therapy to eradicate the last of the cancerous cells.

For a couple of years it was going really nice, no problems, all clear etc. Then one day Mum just said "Something doesn't feel right, I need to go see my doctor". She was diagnosed with Secondary Bone cancer and then had to go on some really heavy treatment. This was a couple of years ago. Bone marrow transplants were not an option for medical/technical reasons.

The treatments could only ever slow the spread but I think that at that time as Mum was looking good I made the subconcious note that she was fine and would be here for many many years.

Over the course of the last year she has been in a lot of pain but still worrying about her husband, providing for her 4 children and still being the best mum and friend to me I could ever hope for. My mum has only ever given in her life, never taken. The 4 of us have never stayed overnight in a hospital, it has always been our mum who has had back problems, knee problems etc. It has been as though she took our place.

When I write the original post she had been to the hospital the day with my little sister, who has been the one to go with Mum and Dad. Mum being my mum and knowing how soppy I am has always stopped me from taking her as I would just get upset and start her off.

The chemo treatment she was on was not working as good as they were hoping and it was doing more damage to her than good as her body is so weak, her blood counts are non existant so they decided to try a bout of radio therapy on Friday.

I received a call on Thursday of this week in the morning from mum asking if I could take her to the hospital on Friday. No hesitation. Friday we went, the machine room which was booked for her couldn't do the necessary treatment so we came away with watery eyes but soon forgot about that and went for fish and chips, knowing we would be back Monday (tomorrow).

Yesterday I was due at Mum/Dads to go to my brothers house to do some work on it and arrived to find that my mum had had issues overnight. One side of her face had "dropped" and she couldn't move it.

We rushed her to hospital, they have made comments that she has either had a stroke or the cancer has made its way to her brain. She was too weak for many tests yesterday and has been placed on a drip.

My mum is tired, she has fought with such resolution and hope over the past years that I didn't believe possible, yet at the same time, worrying about her kids and her grandchildren. Time is short, but I know that at some point, she will be free of pain, happy and keeping a watch over us from afar.

 

[DaGaffer]

Jesus mate. Well you know I know exactly what you're going through. Will you be allowed to take your Mum home? In the end it was the only thing my Dad wanted and the Regional nurses, Macmillan nurses and Marie Curie sitters were all wonderful, and my Dad got as much dignity as he could at the end. Its been a rough year for a lot of us hasn't it?

 

[Yoni]

oh poppet

 

[Munkey]

My mums been diagnosed with all sorts of stuff, bone marrow disorders, fucked up kidneys etc. Recently she was diagnosed with lung disease, getting one of the really really rare types. We still have no idea whats caused it, her lung capacity has dropped to aroudn 45-50% and if it drops any lower she'll be in real trouble. As it is, we only found out a month ago that it was the none fatal type....but we're still not sure about that.

I remember how it felt hearing my mum might die.

I have no idea how it must feel to know that she is. My heart goes out to you deebs, only thing you can do is sit with your family and feel useless. But at least you're there for her.

*hug*

 

[Deebs]

Jesus mate. Well you know I know exactly what you're going through. Will you be allowed to take your Mum home? In the end it was the only thing my Dad wanted and the Regional nurses, Macmillan nurses and Marie Curie sitters were all wonderful, and my Dad got as much dignity as he could at the end. Its been a rough year for a lot of us hasn't it?

Dave

I am so sorry, and yes, it has been an awful for some of us.

We believe that we can bring mum home, I just rang the hospital and she is not in any pain at the moment, has managed to eat breakfast and has had a wash. As I said, she is a fighter but is just exhausted.

We read different things in what the Doctor's are telling us but we all know that she has little time left, how long, we don't know exactly.

 

[DaGaffer]

Dave

We read different things in what the Doctor's are telling us but we all know that she has little time left, how long, we don't know exactly.

Yeah, that's the problem isn't it? With the best will on the world, Oncologists never like to give a definitive prognosis. I had a stand-up row with the doctors in Cyprus because they wouldn't give us a straight answer and they were upsetting my Dad who just wanted to be told so we wouldn't leave it too late to get him back to the UK.

All you can do now is just be there as much as you can. In a bizarre way I was fortunate that I'd already quit work to go travelling so when I came back I could devote my attention to looking after my Mum, who was really the one who needed support at that stage. You're going to feel like a spare part most of the time, but trust me, you won't be, and your Mum will most concerned that you're looking after your Dad.

Life just fucking sucks at times doesn't it?

 

[TdC]

oh dear you guys. Cherish your moments and memories! From what I read, and I said this to DaGaffer earlier, it sounds like the both of you have pretty decent standards setting folks there, and they will be a tough act to follow up when the time is there to do so. Remember what they did, and it will be as if they are still about helping you on. If you listen really hard you may even hear them laughing when you do something silly.

You know, in some ways I am jealous that you both had the opportunity to follow your parents into maturity and could see, from an adult viewpoint, how they looked at the world and how they managed themselves, what they hoped for and the things they were cautious of. My dad passed away just before I turned ten, and there are still times 20odd years on that I think on my da and wish he was here to advise me (he'd prolly give me a clip round the old ear too while he was at it, just before taking me down the pub) but I do know he is in fact advising me at that very second.

Ah well Tony and Dave, I'm being a bit soppy this morning, but shan't tell you that you have to be sad or do other things. Just be glad of the good stuff and remember the lessons learned. Life does fucking suck sometimes, but it's the good bits that really matter.

-Andy

 

[Embattle]

Really sorry to hear about this DB, sad too as I remember your previous posts about you mother which seemed like things were on the up....well either way I wish your family the best that is possible in these painful times.

 

[Jupitus]

 

[mycenae]

I echo Vae's earlier sentiments mate. It might seem like a strange thing to say, but if you want someone to cut through the medical jargon for you and talk straight, I'd be more than happy to oblige. Drs can be irritatingly obtuse sometimes, I know, but please be assured, that as soon as they know anything concrete, you'll be told, and you are also well within your rights to ask for anything you feel is appropriate (ie, more treatment, less treatment, no treatment, home treatment etc etc)
Best wishes mate....all my thoughts are with you.