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Embattle

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I truly hope so to @Embattle <3
So on Christmas Eve my mum ended up in A&E and as I said somewhere else she has been on an oxygen concentrator ever since.

So she had another infusion in mid January however a few weeks later she was back in A&E not expected to make it as her sodium had crashed possibly due to the treatment, but at the time we were advised to say our goodbyes.

Amazingly and to the surprise of the specialists she improved over the next week and a half while in hospital and she left the hospital to spend nearly 2 weeks in a hospice. She left the hospice a week ago and returned home during which time I've helped care for her with other family members.

We had a conversation with oncology about seeing if the last infusion might be doing anything so today she had another X-ray and then saw the oncologist, sadly the immunotherapy hasn't worked and her lungs are both full of cancer. He gave an honest assessment of 4-8 weeks max but could be less and to make her as comfortable as possible :cry:
 

Wij

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So on Christmas Eve my mum ended up in A&E and as I said somewhere else she has been on an oxygen concentrator ever since.

So she had another infusion in mid January however a few weeks later she was back in A&E not expected to make it as her sodium had crashed possibly due to the treatment, but at the time we were advised to say our goodbyes.

Amazingly and to the surprise of the specialists she improved over the next week and a half while in hospital and she left the hospital to spend nearly 2 weeks in a hospice. She left the hospice a week ago and returned home during which time I've helped care for her with other family members.

We had a conversation with oncology about seeing if the last infusion might be doing anything so today she had another X-ray and then saw the oncologist, sadly the immunotherapy hasn't worked and her lungs are both full of cancer. He gave an honest assessment of 4-8 weeks max but could be less and to make her as comfortable as possible :cry:
Damn. Thoughts are with you :(
 

Yoni

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So on Christmas Eve my mum ended up in A&E and as I said somewhere else she has been on an oxygen concentrator ever since.

So she had another infusion in mid January however a few weeks later she was back in A&E not expected to make it as her sodium had crashed possibly due to the treatment, but at the time we were advised to say our goodbyes.

Amazingly and to the surprise of the specialists she improved over the next week and a half while in hospital and she left the hospital to spend nearly 2 weeks in a hospice. She left the hospice a week ago and returned home during which time I've helped care for her with other family members.

We had a conversation with oncology about seeing if the last infusion might be doing anything so today she had another X-ray and then saw the oncologist, sadly the immunotherapy hasn't worked and her lungs are both full of cancer. He gave an honest assessment of 4-8 weeks max but could be less and to make her as comfortable as possible :cry:
So sorry @Embattle ;’(
 

MYstIC G

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So on Christmas Eve my mum ended up in A&E and as I said somewhere else she has been on an oxygen concentrator ever since.

So she had another infusion in mid January however a few weeks later she was back in A&E not expected to make it as her sodium had crashed possibly due to the treatment, but at the time we were advised to say our goodbyes.

Amazingly and to the surprise of the specialists she improved over the next week and a half while in hospital and she left the hospital to spend nearly 2 weeks in a hospice. She left the hospice a week ago and returned home during which time I've helped care for her with other family members.

We had a conversation with oncology about seeing if the last infusion might be doing anything so today she had another X-ray and then saw the oncologist, sadly the immunotherapy hasn't worked and her lungs are both full of cancer. He gave an honest assessment of 4-8 weeks max but could be less and to make her as comfortable as possible :cry:
:fluffle:
 

Jupitus

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So on Christmas Eve my mum ended up in A&E and as I said somewhere else she has been on an oxygen concentrator ever since.

So she had another infusion in mid January however a few weeks later she was back in A&E not expected to make it as her sodium had crashed possibly due to the treatment, but at the time we were advised to say our goodbyes.

Amazingly and to the surprise of the specialists she improved over the next week and a half while in hospital and she left the hospital to spend nearly 2 weeks in a hospice. She left the hospice a week ago and returned home during which time I've helped care for her with other family members.

We had a conversation with oncology about seeing if the last infusion might be doing anything so today she had another X-ray and then saw the oncologist, sadly the immunotherapy hasn't worked and her lungs are both full of cancer. He gave an honest assessment of 4-8 weeks max but could be less and to make her as comfortable as possible :cry:
So sad for you mate...
 

Embattle

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Well sadly after nearly two weeks of looking after my wonderful mother day and night she started having an increasing amount of hallucinations throughout Wednesday to the point we wondered if her sodium level had crashed again, a 999 call later and then a trip with my mum to the hospital at nearly 1:00 on Thursday gave us the results from a blood test earlier on Wednesday which showed no problem with the sodium. A private chat with the doctor in A&E told me that he believed it was a mixture of the cancer reaching its final stages, drugs and ultimately a oxygen level (spo2) that was rarely above 85 over the last 2 weeks even with high flow oxygen (9L).

My dad came to the hospital at 4:30 so I could go home and get a couple of hours of sleep and my sister replaced him mid morning by which time the hospitals palliative care team from my mums previous scare had got involved, they didn't believe it was possible for her to go home because of the types of medicine now needed and the difficulty in getting her to swallow tablets so they arranged for her to return back to the hospice. My mum still managed a cognitive thought and told my dad she believed it was also best so we and in particular I didn't have even more to do for her not that I would of objected if she had wanted to come home even though I was averaging 2-4 hours sleep max.

She was transferred to the Hospice around midday and I joined my sister there about 14:00 and although my mum still had some ability to talk a little and recognise us it was clear every breath was like she had been running a marathon non stop, she had already had plenty of drugs to try and help although they gave her a few more and after a discussion with the doctor and nurse explaining the last few weeks including the plan to use a syringe driver again we kissed her goodbye and left around 15:30. Less than an hour later we got a phone call that her long struggle was coming to a end and my sister and dad returned to be there while I stayed at home with the dogs, she passed 5 minutes after they arrived.

So the last picture I took of her on a sunny day a week ago when I offered to open all the bifold doors and wheel her there so she could enjoy some lovely sunshine and I could sit next to her:

1012.jpg

Mum thanks for everything you did and I'm going to miss you so incredibly much and you'll always be in my heart and memories :cry:
 

Gumbo

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Mate,

Been away from here for a while, so not up to date, haven't even scrolled up past that post.

You've always come across to me on here, for what? 20 years? as a sound, caring, genuine bloke.

We're all on the same train and this was your ma's stop. I have absolutely no doubt at all that you've been the best son you could ever be, and she was proud of you to the same level that you have loved and cared for her.

It's tough losing a parent. It's overwhelming, there's lots to do. But there's nothing that can't wait until tomorrow. Those tomorrows are there for the next few months too. Take time for each other over the next few days. Cry lots, laugh at the memories that you can and don't feel guilty about that. Your mum would be happy to see you have a giggle too. You'll feel shit for a bit, but you'll get some sleep. You'll feel guilty that you have a sense of relief. Don't! There's no need to feel guilty that you're not working all the time to do your best, that you can finally take a deep breath and think about some time for yourself.

Tell your dad and sis that of all places your random internet mates send their sympathies and their best wishes, I'm sure that tomorrow loads more will come on and give you the freddys equivalent of a big smothering hug, which you'll feel awkward about but secretly appreciate.

I bet that by now, a few of us will have been through what you're going through and can help with anything practical that you need. PM me if you want, or ask openly if you need help with ANYTHING.

RIP your mum, she raised a good 'un.
 

Deebs

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No words to describe your loss, I know what you are going through, thoughts are with you.
 

Yoni

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So very very sorry your loss Embattle :cry: my thoughts are with you and your family.
 

Bodhi

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Really sorry to hear that chap, I lost my dad 13 years ago now so know exactly how you feel.
 

MYstIC G

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Well sadly after nearly two weeks of looking after my wonderful mother day and night she started having an increasing amount of hallucinations throughout Wednesday to the point we wondered if her sodium level had crashed again, a 999 call later and then a trip with my mum to the hospital at nearly 1:00 on Thursday gave us the results from a blood test earlier on Wednesday which showed no problem with the sodium. A private chat with the doctor in A&E told me that he believed it was a mixture of the cancer reaching its final stages, drugs and ultimately a oxygen level (spo2) that was rarely above 85 over the last 2 weeks even with high flow oxygen (9L).

My dad came to the hospital at 4:30 so I could go home and get a couple of hours of sleep and my sister replaced him mid morning by which time the hospitals palliative care team from my mums previous scare had got involved, they didn't believe it was possible for her to go home because of the types of medicine now needed and the difficulty in getting her to swallow tablets so they arranged for her to return back to the hospice. My mum still managed a cognitive thought and told my dad she believed it was also best so we and in particular I didn't have even more to do for her not that I would of objected if she had wanted to come home even though I was averaging 2-4 hours sleep max.

She was transferred to the Hospice around midday and I joined my sister there about 14:00 and although my mum still had some ability to talk a little and recognise us it was clear every breath was like she had been running a marathon non stop, she had already had plenty of drugs to try and help although they gave her a few more and after a discussion with the doctor and nurse explaining the last few weeks including the plan to use a syringe driver again we kissed her goodbye and left around 15:30. Less than an hour later we got a phone call that her long struggle was coming to a end and my sister and dad returned to be there while I stayed at home with the dogs, she passed 5 minutes after they arrived.

So the last picture I took of her on a sunny day a week ago when I offered to open all the bifold doors and wheel her there so she could enjoy some lovely sunshine and I could sit next to her:

View attachment 45857

Mum thanks for everything you did and I'm going to miss you so incredibly much and you'll always be in my heart and memories :cry:
Really sorry to hear that Emb, take care of yourself and the family.
 

Embattle

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Thanks everyone I appreciate all the sympathy and I've no doubt got many more moments when I feel bad and then good but guilty no doubt like many others who go through this horrible experience.

The last few days have been busy with us removing the various disability aids such as hardly used wheelchairs and a mobility scooter and giving them to the hospice charity shop of the hospice that supported my mum and us but we also plan to give a donation to them as well. We've also dealt with a lot of the non personal items that my mum had and given them to charity, it is tough but I've been told there is no right or wrong time to do it but least it kept us occupied.

I've still had the odd moment when I feel guilty in the last few days, for example yesterday the weather was lovely down here in Devon and it felt wrong to think it. I was looking at the flowers in the dining room and thought I should tell mum how great they look then remembered why we had received them, it wasn't the only time in the last two days I had that reaction to something.

As for why I decided to put all this info in the covid thread, well personally my mum feels like one of the casualties from cancer diagnosis delays due to covid that'll just become a statistic.
 

Deebs

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Thanks everyone I appreciate all the sympathy and I've no doubt got many more moments when I feel bad and then good but guilty no doubt like many others who go through this horrible experience.

The last few days have been busy with us removing the various disability aids such as hardly used wheelchairs and a mobility scooter and giving them to the hospice charity shop of the hospice that supported my mum and us but we also plan to give a donation to them as well. We've also dealt with a lot of the non personal items that my mum had and given them to charity, it is tough but I've been told there is no right or wrong time to do it but least it kept us occupied.

I've still had the odd moment when I feel guilty in the last few days, for example yesterday the weather was lovely down here in Devon and it felt wrong to think it. I was looking at the flowers in the dining room and thought I should tell mum how great they look then remembered why we had received them, it wasn't the only time in the last two days I had that reaction to something.

As for why I decided to put all this info in the covid thread, well personally my mum feels like one of the casualties from cancer diagnosis delays due to covid that'll just become a statistic.
Don't ever feel guilty. Grief shows many forms.
 

Jupitus

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@Embattle I have a tear in my eye just trying to imagine what you are having to go through, and I so very sorry to hear of your loss. My sister lost my brother in law a few years ago to panchreatic cancer and is now, after about 5 years, moving out of their marital home and on to a new place, but it has shown me how long the healing process can take after events like this. Take care of you and your closest now, and I hope you can soon only remember the good fun stiff you all shared.
 

Overdriven

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@Embattle Condolences to you and the whole family. It's really really terrible. If you ever need to vent you know we're all around.

:(
 

Scouse

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You have to sign up to that yourself @Embattle, or did it get recommended by your Dr./NHS?

How often are we going to have to do this shit? I'm thinking a shot, followed by a month later having a "lick a delta positive" party because you kind of want to know you've had it for real (and not just omicron).


Of course, no science in the above. Just fun times ;)
 

Embattle

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@Scouse I was signed up by both my Dr/NHS due to the immunosuppressants I take, it did come about a month ago but for previous story I was busy.

The intention I believe is to improve the shot to once a year like flu.
 

Marc

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@Scouse I was signed up by both my Dr/NHS due to the immunosuppressants I take, it did come about a month ago but for previous story I was busy.

The intention I believe is to improve the shot to once a year like flu.
I’m sure I read somewhere this morning that there is a brand new treatment that has just been approved for use by people who are immune suppressed?
I’ve managed to dodge it for 2 years but it’s finally got me today . Tested positive. It’s absolutely rife again round here
 

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