Politics Coronavirus

[Scouse]

Saw this the other day. It's pretty cool:


View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUaInS6HIGo

 

[dysfunction]

Just went up to have my vaccine but didn't.

Was queueing for an hour and didn't move, a volunteer said that the guy running it is basically power tripping and interviewing everyone as they go in, she even told me to tell him I was a carer before I told her I live with over 50 year olds, and it's taking way longer than it should be.

Why the fuck do people decide now is a good time to power trip? Probably the only responsibility he's had in his pathetic life.

report it to your local MP. see if they can sort it out

 

[Scouse]

Just had my first inside-a-venue meal since last October!

Olif in Betws Y Coed. Worth a stop of you're walking in the mountains

 

[Gwadien]

Thank god.

Duchess of Cambridge gets first Covid vaccine dose

Catherine says she is "hugely grateful" to everyone who is playing a part in the vaccine rollout.

www.bbc.co.uk

 

[Hawkwind]

@Raven - just a suggestion - does your wife do a fair bit of exercise? It's the single most effective treatment for severe depression.

If not, buy her a bike to join you on gentle rides?

Tried that with my Mrs but she swears by retail therapy, or gardening.

 

[Yoni]

I find going out with my camera helps to eleviate depression when I feel at my worst.... the issue is leaving the house however - once I am out with my camera problems start to become less....

 

[Embattle]

I find going out with my camera helps to eleviate depression when I feel at my worst.... the issue is leaving the house however - once I am out with my camera problems start to become less....

I find going out on my motorcycle does the same sort of thing, also finally going to the odd shop to pickup stuff as well....a little bit of normality.

 

[Scouse]

the issue is leaving the house however

Agree. I think this is the hardest step whether you suffer from depression or anxiety or not.

 

[Yoni]

Kris understands that encouraging my hobby is more likely to get me out of the house than telling me I should get out in to the air - my advice is find something that your partner likes to do and encourage that rather than focusing on benefits to their situation whether it is depression, anxiety etc

 

[Scouse]

Kris understands that encouraging my hobby is more likely to get me out of the house than telling me I should get out in to the air - my advice is find something that your partner likes to do and encourage that rather than focusing on benefits to their situation whether it is depression, anxiety etc

Totally agree with this. 100%.

However, a common problem is that some people just don't have any hobbies. So how do you gently encourage them to do more of nothing?

Tam's mum is our biggest source of pain at the moment - she's massively obese, can see her in a wheelchair very soon unless she starts getting exercise - but she flat out refuses to do any and flat out refuses to acknowledge her weight problem.

She wants to see more of her daughters and they're selling up from their holiday destination home (dorset) to move closer. But neither of them wants to spend more time with their parents because it means sitting inside doing nothing but eat and drink to unhealthy excess. The fact that they currently live by the seaside is the only relief they get when they do visit their parents. Their dad is an unhappy man because his wife stops him doing the things that he wants to do because she isn't able to join in (or doesn't want to).

All of that misery caused by one person's lack of taking care of their own health

 

[Yoni]

Ok but unfortunately your gf mum is probably feeling ashamed of her situation so does not want to go out walking where she will be only to aware of sweat patches, uncomfortable rubbing and her imagining that everyone is staring at her....

When you are very overweight there comes a time where you start to believe that this is your lot, especially if you have tried and tried but life conspires against you - yes yes I can hear you lecturing now about calories in and exercise, however there is enough evidence now to suggest that the science is not that simple... Menopause can be a complete fucker and one of the reasons that I am suffering sometimes from extreme depression.

The most important thing that her mother can do is to take small steps (literally and metaphorically) to get that heart pumping - is there a time where bigger people can go swimming, there is gardening or even a trip to a national trust site.... I will walk forever at gradient for example to picture waterfalls.....

 

[Scouse]

She won't take those small steps. If she feels shame then there's only one person that can deal with it - her.

The science is clear - yes there are hormonal aspects to weight gain and some people handle things better than others but we're talking 10% difference here. She's probably 300% the weight she should be - and no amount of hormonal imbalance explains that - it takes a massive excess of fuel to maintain that weight.

Years (decades) of kind understanding, acceptance and tip-toeing around the understandably touchy subject has achieved nothing.

At some point you have to label people what they are, regardless of the "why" they are that way.

If gentle encouragement is not achieving results - any results - with their mum, then the only outcome will be bitter resentful daughters who frankly don't want to see their parents.

I'm not sure lighting a rocket under someone's ass is productive either. But the approach you advocate doesn't work - so what is an alternative that is likely to get results?

This is far from a "special" situation. Lots of people go through the same thing. I would love to find a different approach. But she's spent up her "kid glove" capital over the past two decades - if she feels shame, it's because despite all her family's loving efforts she's too lazy to do the work to get results, and she's got something to feel ashamed of...

 

[Moriath]

She won't take those small steps. If she feels shame then there's only one person that can deal with it - her.

The science is clear - yes there are hormonal aspects to weight gain and some people handle things better than others but we're talking 10% difference here. She's probably 300% the weight she should be - and no amount of hormonal imbalance explains that - it takes a massive excess of fuel to maintain that weight.

Years (decades) of kind understanding, acceptance and tip-toeing around the understandably touchy subject has achieved nothing.

At some point you have to label people what they are, regardless of the "why" they are that way.

If gentle encouragement is not achieving results - any results - with their mum, then the only outcome will be bitter resentful daughters who frankly don't want to see their parents.

I'm not sure lighting a rocket under someone's ass is productive either. But the approach you advocate doesn't work - so what is an alternative that is likely to get results?

This is far from a "special" situation. Lots of people go through the same thing. I would love to find a different approach. But she's spent up her "kid glove" capital over the past two decades - if she feels shame, it's because despite all her family's loving efforts she's too lazy to do the work to get results, and she's got something to feel ashamed of...

What you forget is that everyone is individual. With different goals and priorities in life.

Not all align with yours. If she is content to live as she is who are you to interfere?

if its not to your liking perhaps its you who have a tolerance issue.

if her put upon husband has an issue then its up to him to evaluate his priorities.

otherwise let people live how they want.

 

[Scouse]

You've a very isolationist view of humans @Moriath. Maybe it's because you prefer it - and that's fine, for you.

But this is a woman who wants to spend a lot more time with her family. It's clearly a "goal and priority" of hers. Yet because of her self-imposed health issues (regardless of how difficult it is for her) - her own family doesn't want that, because they no longer enjoy the time they spend with her.

So you can sit and say it's her choice. But her choice is self-(and other) harming.

If you see a family member self harming I'd hope you wouldn't sit there and go "it's your life"...

 

[Scouse]

Fuck this disease. Just received news that we lost one of our MENA colleagues. He was 39, wife, 9 year old kid. Lost his mum 3 weeks ago.

One of my colleagues young (20's) daughters was hospitalised with it a couple of weeks back.

Get yer jabs if you've not had em people

 

[Moriath]

You've a very isolationist view of humans @Moriath. Maybe it's because you prefer it - and that's fine, for you.

But this is a woman who wants to spend a lot more time with her family. It's clearly a "goal and priority" of hers. Yet because of her self-imposed health issues (regardless of how difficult it is for her) - her own family doesn't want that, because they no longer enjoy the time they spend with her.

So you can sit and say it's her choice. But her choice is self-(and other) harming.

If you see a family member self harming I'd hope you wouldn't sit there and go "it's your life"...

Then make it clear that you wont spend time with her unless she gets fit. Or is that self centered?

 

[Yoni]

I do not like to visit my mum because she and the rest of the family smoke in the house. Yes even though she has been asked not to she is still smoking 1 - 5 cigarettes a day... the rest can smoke a lot more and in a small kitchen it is too much.... I do however visit because I love my family in spite of their smoking and it is not my house it is hers and at 84 she can do what the f she likes to be honest... I can go outside and upstairs if it gets too much. My mum misses me especially as I have not been able to visit due to CV19 however I can tell you now that when I get to go over she will spend most of the time in the kitchen or front room (watching quiz shows) - me being there will not change her routine in the slightest, but she is my mum I love her very much and for the time that I am there I can deal with that...

What I would say to your gf and her siblings is that regardless of what their mum is doing to herself, she is their mum and either they suck it up and visit or they don't - they have a choice. Just remember that if they do not and there is a critical situation they also need to be able to live with themselves should they choose not to go. Not everyone hates their mum as much as you do and not everyone could live with themselves if they did not visit regularly - are you influencing your girlfriends feelings on the topic especially with your own lack of tolerance for anyone overweight or not active?

If it is really unbearable, why not go for the day or a few days rather than for weeks? You could even go but not stay there, maybe rent a house or stay at a hotel and arrange to meet her somewhere like a park..

 

[Scouse]

Then make it clear that you wont spend time with her unless she gets fit. Or is that self centered?

Who can realistically do that with a parent? You can ditch friends who have really bad habits that mean you don't enjoy spending time with them - you can't ditch family.

I'd argue it's self-centered to knowingly uspet your wider family for cakes from morrisons and shitty takeaways.

Not even good cakes.

What I would say to your gf and her siblings is that regardless of what their mum is doing to herself, she is their mum and either they suck it up and visit or they don't - they have a choice

They suck it up and visit of course. They love their mum. But they hate spending time with her because she's become insufferable for anything but the shortest periods of time.

She is, of course, free to spread misery through her lack of self-care. And she's doing that successfully - resulting two very upset and conflicted daughters who want to spend time with the parents that brought them up, but really can't bear it.

As it's her choice - in my book that makes her a bit of a cunt.


But I hear you two loud and clear - you don't think there's really anything that can be done. Which is a shame for, well, everyone really.

 

[JBP|]

As it's her choice - in my book that makes her a bit of a cunt.

Thats the sort of attitude that most likely lead to her health issues to start with.

Of course I have no knowledge of the lady, but I'd hazard a guess that there are other problems involved, that you and her daughters probably have no idea about. Rather than her just being a cake troughing lazy twat.

 

[Raven]

Had a birthday party with my mum and sisters family. Mums birthday and nieces yesterday. Had a great time, lots of cake.

 

[Scouse]

Thats the sort of attitude that most likely lead to her health issues to start with.

Nope. Eating too much and never doing any exercise over the 66 years of her life has lead to her being less sprightly than many 80 year olds I know.

The most gentle loving lead-by-example care from her daughters over the two decades I've known them has done dick. Even her husband having a heart attack which the doctors clearly stated was down to their diet never prompted change for her.

Of course I have no knowledge of the lady, but I'd hazard a guess that there are other problems involved, that you and her daughters probably have no idea about. Rather than her just being a cake troughing lazy twat.

If you've had twenty years to seek help for whatever problems you've got, and you've not sought that help and done nothing about it then, in the end, it's not how you feel on the inside that defines you, but what you do that counts.

 

[Scouse]

Had a birthday party with my mum and sisters family. Mums birthday and nieces yesterday. Had a great time, lots of cake.

Special occasion, pile it on.

Every day isn't a birthday.

 

[JBP|]

It's my birthday next week, I can't wait get get stuck in to a bit of cake.
I'm also hoping to get a life size Hulk as a gift, but knowing my luck all I'll be getting is my second vaccine jab.

 

[Yoni]

Her mum is 80? Seriously I really think that they should just get on with it - if she is happy and 80 let her finish her life in the way she wants to...

 

[Scouse]

Her mum is 80? Seriously I really think that they should just get on with it - if she is happy and 80 let her finish her life in the way she wants to...

No. Her mum is 66 - but less physically capable than most 80 year olds.

The sentence was very clear.

 

[Moriath]

No. Her mum is 66 - but less physically capable than most 80 year olds.

The sentence was very clear.

Not really i read it that out of 80 years she hadnt done anything for 66 years. First 1r being a kid and running around etc.

you are very intolerant

my dad died at 52, was fairly active and had an active job being a policeman. Didnt drink much, never smoked. Died of oesophageal cancer.

i take from that do what you enjoy and dont let others push you about. Cause you never know tomorrow.

 

[JBP|]

If you've had twenty years to seek help for whatever problems you've got, and you've not sought that help and done nothing about it then, in the end, it's not how you feel on the inside that defines you, but what you do that counts.

It's exactly how you feel on the inside that counts. Mental and physical ill health can manifest in many different ways in many different people.
The attitude you say she displays could be happening for any number of reasons, rather than she can't be arsed.
Ultimately, life is short and usually a bit of bitch, so rather than trying to avoid a loved one you should spend the time letting them know what they actually mean to you, because you might not have the chance to tell them tomorrow and thats something you have to carry for the rest of your life.

 

[Scouse]

Ultimately, life is short and usually a bit of bitch, so rather than trying to avoid a loved one you should spend the time letting them know what they actually mean to you, because you might not have the chance to tell them tomorrow and thats something you have to carry for the rest of your life.

Honestly m8 - that feels more like a regurgitated platitude rather than an acknowledgement of the complexity of human feeling IMO.

 

[Raven]

You should make her join the army.

 

[Moriath]

Honestly m8 - that feels more like a regurgitated platitude rather than an acknowledgement of the complexity of human feeling IMO.

You say you will fight for anyone to say what they want. Why not do what they want.

you advocating for suicide to be made illegal again.

so you are 40 some and she is 66 some. You have no idea what she went through before you knew Tam.

The pinnacle of life isnt to live for ever. Its to live how you want. If she isn’t of a mind to live more healthy then why should anyone be more incontrol of her than herself?

youare wanting to take away her self determinism to make her children feel better.

you are intolerant of others. You demand explanation when people mark you down. But dont follow through yourself.

you want to dictate what people add to threads you make. at the same time acknowledge the interweb is a free for all. Post and be damned.

Even if you suppress all this in your life. You must be screwing yourself inside out and posting this drivel here to not explode.

live and let live. Accept different points of view and move on.

you really do seem to be a bitter twisted individual. So you believe in keep fit eat the’right’ stuff and dont get fat. Good for you.

dosnt mean the next person only wants to live to 60 and eat all the shit before they get their.

and that view is just as valid for them as yours is for you.